The Conservative Cave
Current Events => General Discussion => Topic started by: megimoo on March 07, 2008, 10:30:44 AM
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New element discovered! Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1981959/posts
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New element discovered! Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1981959/posts
:rotf:
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That's pretty funny right there!
KC
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New element discovered! Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1981959/posts
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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2 more:
* Element Name: WOMANIUM
* Symbol: WO
* Atomic Weight: (don't even go there, but if you must the only ever quoted figure is 53kg)
* Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form, surfaces often covered in film. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time.
Melts with special treatment. Very bitter if not used well.
* Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left
alone. May explode spontaneously without prior notice and for no apparent reason. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Generally insoluble in liquid, but saturation in alcohol can increase activity. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
* Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known to man. Excellent cleaning agent.
* Caution: Highly explosive out of experienced hands and illegal to posses in quantities although several can be maintained in different locations provided they do not come into contact with one another.
* Element Name: MANIUM
* Symbol: XY
* Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
* Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
* Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO(WOMANIUM) at any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time.
* Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
* Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
* Caution: In the absence of WO (WOMANIUM), this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
:-)
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Marxium (also known as Leftium and Liberalum)
Symbol: MX
Atomic Weight: Unknown
Physical Properties: Highly unstable. Poisonous to the human mind and body.
Usage: None
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I check the Periodic Table once in a while to see if Stupidium has been added. Nope... Congress is still in DC.
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2 more:
* Element Name: WOMANIUM
* Symbol: WO
* Atomic Weight: (don't even go there, but if you must the only ever quoted figure is 53kg)
* Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form, surfaces often covered in film. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time.
Melts with special treatment. Very bitter if not used well.
* Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left
alone. May explode spontaneously without prior notice and for no apparent reason. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Generally insoluble in liquid, but saturation in alcohol can increase activity. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
* Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known to man. Excellent cleaning agent.
* Caution: Highly explosive out of experienced hands and illegal to posses in quantities although several can be maintained in different locations provided they do not come into contact with one another.
* Element Name: MANIUM
* Symbol: XY
* Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
* Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
* Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO(WOMANIUM) at any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time.
* Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
* Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
* Caution: In the absence of WO (WOMANIUM), this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
:-)
:rotf:
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Everytime I see that stupid Human Element commercial, I think of how much cooler the VW Turbonium ad was.
:cheersmate:
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I check the Periodic Table once in a while to see if Stupidium has been added. Nope... Congress is still in DC.
Maybe they are not testing for it in enough places. They need to check DU too.