The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => The DUmping Ground => Topic started by: franksolich on December 22, 2009, 04:56:22 PM
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04. undergroundpanther, also known as the subway cat, a les risibles primitive. Mid-40s, lives in an affluent suburb of Baltimore, stout, and despite all appearances and self-delusions, a female. Has a mother who used to live with her; also at least one, but probably two, sisters. As with the phalloscraping primitive, the "philoraptor" primitive, once known as the "MoPaul" primitive, has sporadic absences from Skins's island, due to her being in a big building with small rooms with soft walls.
Wants to be a male, and a cat.
Lives off the taxpayers, although physically capable of working.
All the above statistical information provided by the winner.
If anyone has the link to her web-site, please post it.
It's, uh, rather bizarre.
The subway cat lives in a house owned by her mother, a widow. Her mother used to live in the same house, but moved away some years ago to a rented house, because the woman was terrified of all the "friends" the subway cat was having there; a quite reasonable fear for a woman up in years with a deranged middle-aged daughter and a lot of weird people hanging around.
If anyone has the link to her web-site, please post it.
the subway cat's roommate moves out:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,20216.0/
the subway cat wants to get a third cat:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,20351.0/
the subway cat has alternative reality:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,20547.0/
the subway cat says poverty is torture:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,21355.0/
the subway cat gives us a double-header:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,21382.0/
the subway cat envious of the rich:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,22218.0/
the subway cat gives history of the slave trade:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,22265.0/
the subway cat into self-mutilation:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,26673.0/
the subway cat wishes she were mediocre:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,26889.0/
the subway cat being furry:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,27199.0/
the subway cat wants a green brain:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,27713.0/
the subway cat being freaky:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,28114.0/
the subway cat solicits free medical advice:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,28385.0/
the subway cat being psychotic:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,28400.0/
the Mexican flu touches the subway cat:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,28546.0/
the subway cat has a cutting urge:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,29251.0/
the subway cat favors capital punishment:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,29684.0/
the subway cat gets a boyfriend:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30147.0/
the subway cat doesn't like church:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30181.0/
the subway cat poses for photograph with boyfriend:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30433.0/
the subway cat forced to be born:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30598.0/
the subway cat gets comeuppance:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,30753.0/
the subway cat explains Carlo Ponzi:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,31390.0/
the subway cat is sore:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,31398.0/
the subway cat being strange:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,31600.0/
the subway cat being driven crazy in a threesome:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,32409.0/
the subway cat laughs at obesity:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,32486.0/
the subway cat going with boyfriend (she never did, though):
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,33365.0/
the subway cat has dental problems:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,33516.0/
the subway cat thinks:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,33616.0/
the subway cat finds religion horrible:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,33784.0/
the subway cat's chain being jerked:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,34117.0/
the subway cat warns of spiked cocaine:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,34178.0/
the subway cat wants to socialize:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,34888.0/
the subway cat in restraints:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35078.0/
the subway cat illuminates us on church history:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35411.0/
the subway cat is very very very angry:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35443.0/
the subway cat in pain:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35960.0/
the subway cat tries a fundamental bouncy:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,35982.0/
the subway cat being weird:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,36797.0/
the subway cat relapses:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37069.0/
the subway cat gets fooled about story:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,37176.0/
the subway cat shares her umbrella:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38006.0/
the subway cat wonders:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38162.0/
Okay; there's lots more about the subway cat in the archives here; the above however should be enough to justify the subway cat being chosen as the #04 TOP PRIMITIVE OF THE YEAR.
But if anybody's got a link to the subway cat's web-site, please post it.
It's for my credibility, because nobody, but nobody, is going to believe the way the subway cat is, based upon only my comments.
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This one usually leaves me speechless.
WTF is wrong with this country that we allow "things" like UP to vote?
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I've seen her get stranger and stranger in my one year here. I first met her while she was doing foul-mouthed rants against "rich people" and even the concept of currency. Then, it progressed to a weird relationship that nobody could figure out. It has now come to her telling tall tales right out of a martial arts action movie. And she seems to be believing them.
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Most telling too is that despite its obvious insanity it is still one of the most revered denizens of the DUmp.
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This one usually leaves me speechless.
WTF is wrong with this country that we allow "things" like UP to vote?
I'm still trying to figure out why it's walking around free. This is the craziest creature I've ever come across.
Cindie
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http://www.myspace.com/undergroundpanther
Barf bag alert.
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The suspense of this countdown is going to put Pammie back in the hospital.
She feels like one of the finalists in New York at the Heisman Trophy award ceremony.
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Geraldo Rivera helped shut down the state asylums in this country. Otherwise half the DUmmies would be in them. UP would be a specimen studied by students of many courses.
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The suspense of this countdown is going to put Pammie back in the hospital.
She feels like one of the finalists in New York at the Heisman Tropby award ceremony.
You know, sir, it really says something about the declining quality of the primitives, when one realizes the Bostonian Drunkard wasn't bad enough to win a runner-up award, and the American nana primitive, the "NanceGreggs" primitive, didn't even get nominated.
Any other year, the sparkling husband primitive (#05) and the subway cat (#04) would have been clear winner for the number one spot.
There's still three surprises to come yet, though.
As I said, when Mr. Wiggum gave me the list, it was a good thing I was wearing brown pants.
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As I said, when Mr. Wiggum gave me the list, it was a good thing I was wearing brown pants.
lol.
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Is there a photo of her. I live in Baltimore. I'd like to avoid her.
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Is there a photo of her. I live in Baltimore. I'd like to avoid her.
Yes, there are photographs but I would advise against it.
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Is there a photo of her. I live in Baltimore. I'd like to avoid her.
There's lots and lots and lots of photographs of the subway cat, taken at almost every angle, at the link our esteemed colleague thundley4 provided, above.
But caution; don't eat before you go there.
And be sure the bowels are empty too.
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And be sure the bowels are empty too.
That is good advice. The gagging reflex is definitely there.
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Oh my...so UP is actually a dude. Don't know why I thought he was a she. Can honestly say, thankfully, I have never seen this person. Knock on wood.
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Oh my...so UP is actually a dude. Don't know why I thought he was a she. Can honestly say, thankfully, I have never seen this person. Knock on wood.
So sorry, but you have it backwards.
The subway cat's a femme who wants to be a homme.
But it doesn't seem the taxpayers are willing to finance a total makeover.
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OK, Frank, I just reread your original post. UP is a chick, but wants to be a gay guy. Considers herself a gay guy because she prefers guys but is a woman so is actually straight... :lmao:
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OK, Frank, I just reread your original post. UP is a chick, but wants to be a gay guy. Considers herself a gay guy because she prefers guys but is a woman so is actually straight... :lmao:
The peculiar predicament the subway cat has is that she got the above cut off (actually, probably for legitimate medical reasons; cancer runs in that family), but they aren't willling to add something down under.
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I think I'll just move on to the #3 primitive. After 4, I can't wait.
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So sorry, but you have it backwards.
The subway cat's a femme who wants to be a homme.
But it doesn't seem the taxpayers are willing to finance a total makeover.
But somehow, part by part, she's managed to force the taxpayers to finance the cutting out or cutting off of nearly all the organs that are characteristic of the female gender. However, she hasn't so far been able to get them to purchase and install the corresponding male organs. But she's working on it, and it's safe to assume that somewhere in the muslim's destruction of the American medical system there will be provisions made for perverts like her. Some day, sooner rather than later, UGP will be able to fulfill her lifetime dream of pissing while standing up.
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Oh my...so UP is actually a dude. Don't know why I thought he was a she. Can honestly say, thankfully, I have never seen this person. Knock on wood.
born a she I think, wanted to be a male cat.... really messed up person
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really messed up person
You can say that again...
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born a she I think, wanted to be a male cat.... really messed up person
Don't forget the talking ghost chicken.
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Don't forget the talking ghost chicken.
very well adjusted too. :rotf:
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Don't forget the talking ghost chicken.
Blackie The ghost chicken! :-)
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I completely missed out the talking ghost chicken. Could someone re-cap, if you feel like it?
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born a she I think, wanted to be a male cat.... really messed up person
Now that is the understatement of the year.
I go back and forth between wanting her to get the help she so obviously, no desperately, needs and wanting her to stay the way she is because she provides endless amusement.
Having said that... I bet some enterprising young shrink could write a book about her mental illness. It is a good thing for society that she is fairly harmless. Someone that messed up is usually a serial killer.
Might have to send her posts to John Sandford. He could make her a leading character in one of his Prey series books.
edited to insert "books" to "Prey series"
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I completely missed out the talking ghost chicken. Could someone re-cap, if you feel like it?
I wish I could remember specifically enough recap. I my opinion the Blackie the Ghost Chicken post would have to be considered one of the top 10 DUmp posts of all time. I have no doubt that a good Hollywood screenwriter could create a successful sitcom series from that post. I place it above the post where she astral travels to panther mountain and plays with astral panthers and above the post where she was held hostage as a child and forced to drink organic pineapple juice in order to remote view.
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I wish I could remember specifically enough recap. I my opinion the Blackie the Ghost Chicken post would have to be considered one of the top 10 DUmp posts of all time. I have no doubt that a good Hollywood screenwriter could create a successful sitcom series from that post. I place it above the post where she astral travels to panther mountain and plays with astral panthers and above the post where she was held hostage as a child and forced to drink organic pineapple juice in order to remote view.
Blackie had a backstory ... http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x4576
I had two pets that defended me both not dogs.
Rikki he was the most awesome catfreind I ever had.
I was constantly stalked by several bullies in my neighborhood growing up. I had different ways to handle it but sometimes there was no way out or no way to fight..
Rikki used to meet me at the bus stop. He must have drove my father nuts trying to get out the door to meet me everyday.Anyways by the time my drunk ass father got off his butt to let Rikki out I was already hurt and trudging twords home..Rikki would cuddle with me. and I loved him.Well one day he got out early. As I got off the bus I saw him up in the tree at the bus stop crouching as I got off the bus I saw him move just out of sight . I went to the tree, but the bully ringleader richie and his cohorts surrounded me hoping to pin me to the tree. But Rikki leaped down,used my head as a springboard and he landed on Richie he screamed as Rikki started batting his face furiously claws out, hissing and screaming like a demon.
All the kids ran scatter-shot,I stood by the tree amazed, than I busted out laughing as Rikki kept clawing the living shit out of richie,as he ran across the road. Right before ass-turd ran into his house to flee my CAT, Rikki leaped off his head and crossed the street and jumped in my arms, as he passed the other kids did not go near him..than I started crying because I was so touched, by what he did. He jumped in my arms purring . If I was a cat I would be so in love with that cat..I hugged Rikki and we walked home. The ass hats at the bus stop didn't do shit to me if they thought my Rikki was around. Ritchie had some nasty scratches all over his head and face. He was out of school for a few days too.
My other defender was a rooster, yes, a chicken!
Blackie was a chirping ball'o'black fluff I raised up to a fine handsome jungle fowl.
One day I was out at the coop after school changing the water, putting more feed in the feeders talking to all my birdie critters out there. I had my chickens, 2 doves and two rabbits in the coop. It was a pretty big coop too, I could fit myself in there and I often would sit in there with Rikki and Mikey(the one dog I had)and bring in my portable radio sing to my beasties.
My father that day came up mad over who knows what,but he was stinking drunk and that usually meant it was time for me to get thine arse up to the top of the nearest tree.But the coop door was open, so as he yelled I tried to shut the latch,I knew he was gonna hit, and when he started hitting..I found Blackie would have none of that shit,around him..So he flew at my father,who was standing there, right in front off the wire part of the coop,Blackie hurled himself against the wire spurs out barely missing his eye due to the chicken wire in the way...Blackie never had his spurs trimmed,I never really thought about them until I saw what he could do with those..(I think Blackie was an influence in my choice to get into knife throwing and swordsmanship).
Blackie's spurs were 5 inch surprisingly sharp daggers of horn growing out of both his ankles.
My father backed away from the coop,pretty fast. I was shocked because Blackie had NEVER acted like that before,The whole coop was shaking from Blackie's fury so the latch slipped open because I did a half ass job of closing it,under threat. Blackie knocked open the coop door and flew out at my father's head, fluttering spurs aimed right at his face!
(Chickens can't fly proper but they can fly short distances and can jump and an aggressive pissed off rooster with big spurs can do damage.)
Blackie had his spurs out to kill as my father tried to bat him away panicking, Blackie kept going at him, running after him jumping until my father turned and bolted into the house Blackie running after,jumping up again and again.When the screen door shut Blackie came back to me strutting in the way only roosters can pull off without looking stupid , leaped on my arm and did his sweet little chortle cluck he'd do and laid his head on my chest. I guess it was I love you in chicken-ese? I of course bawled and laughed at the same time.And I buried my face in chicken feather fluff and hugged my Super Chicken tight . Later when I came in the house at night,my father said not a word to me but I noticed he got two nasty cuts , one gash on the underside of his upper arm from near the wrist twisting to near the elbow,closed with a few butterfly's and one deep puncture on his cheek. There was blood stain in the bathroom.It took weeks for it to heal and it left scars.
My father NEVER hurt me if Blackie was around. After a year of Blackie's defense my father shot him dead in the coop. I found him dead after school, And my father wanted me to clean him for dinner. I refused to. He tried to hit again.. I could out run him so I split and I went up the tree..A few days after that I decided I had enough of my father's shit and I threatened to kill him with a knife. I did not intend to kill him I just wanted to scare him bad so he'd leave me alone. If my pets could get him to leave me alone it was about time I did it myself..He knew I was skilled with blades, it's a hobby of mine to this day, I use broadsword,throwing knives, and I was a good fencer.He never came around stirring shit while I was practicing with knives or swords outside.. He stopped the physical abuse after I threatened him.I threw a knife about an inch from his face into the wood of the back door. I scared the piss out of him. I was 14..I was never hit again.
There have been times my cats have saved my life, warned me about an electrical fire about to occur,Told me about a gas leak..they warn me if food might burn on the stove. You'd be surprised how protective cats are, they just do it in a different way than dogs do. I have found if an animal loves you and the animal considers you part of his kind,they will stand up for you if they can help.
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undergroundpanther Donating Member (1000+ posts) Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list
Ghost chickens and warnings
I used to have a pet rooster. He was the coolest bird ever.
I got him as a chick,he was a black cute chirpy puffball.I named him Blackie.Most chicks are yellow but Blackie stood out with his inky feathers.He grew up into a handsome jungle fowl rooster with 6 inch dagger like spurs on his ankles that were used against a bullying dog named chipper,who intimidated and chased my dog Mikey. Chipper never came in the yard after that because he feared Blackie...Blackie was a bit vain about his tail,which was beautiful grand display that had him strutting like a peacock to impress the ladies.I used to tell him he was such a hen heart-breaker with that tail.Anyways I had him for around 7 years.He used to crow in the morning and he was so loud he'd wake me up for school.When I got home,I would snatch the cat, and we would crawl into the coop which held the rabbits and doves and chickens. I played my battery operated radio and pet everyone. My cat Rikki and Blackie would lay together sometimes.I could take this chicken anywhere.He would just perch on me. He came when called,He would fly up and perch on my arm if I asked him to. Sometimes he got so comfy resting in the crook of my arm he'd settle his head into my armpit and fall asleep... and he snored too..
I dunno if people understand how beautiful Chickens are.This is what Blackie looked like.He was a Jungle Fowl like this one..a kind of chicken native to Thiland and Asia. Except his Comb was the "Pea" style comb.
I dream of him once in awhile.Sometimes I see his spirit in a tree in the backyard,or walking around.I even saw him in the hospital along with my cat when I had surgery(pre-op)making sure all was ok.. I see his head bobbing back and forth out of the corner of my eye in the house too.I get messages from him. Here is one I had awhile ago and my thoughts on it.
Before the "Bird Flu" scare hit the news a few years ago I dreamed of Blackie. At first he was walking west into the sun. He walked past pits full of burnt and burning dead chickens. He walked to texas and to a veterinary lab facility there. I followed him. He led me to a bio lab where chickens were being tested or injected with something.I saw an image that looked like raspberries.He led me to factory farms filled to capacity with caged chickens that were traumatized and crazy from stress some were suicidal.. They got sick.I saw a few people getting sick from them.The Chickens were angry and calling justice upon the people handling them in factory farms for mistreating them.Blackie warned me about Bird Flu,before it hit the news.I just didn't know it until after the fact..
It would be interesting to see if Bird Flu is bio-engineered.
Considering it is factory farms that are most guilty of spreading it,and it's small local farmers that treat their birds better who are getting their birds culled by their governments,and wild migratory birds being culled while factory farms are not so scrutinized continue to abuse chickens for profits .Anyways I think Blackie was trying to tell me why there is bird flu now. It's because factory farms abuse the chickens in their care and the chickens can't take it anymore.Also there is a spiritual reason.
I have had a habit of caring for injured birds and loving the birds and animals I meet.I thank the spirits of the animals that inhabited the bodies of whatever meat I am eating comes from,and I give them my appreciation.I offer them comfort if they show me images of their life and try to relate. I apologize for their suffering and tell the animal spirits that what is being done to them by factory farms is wrong...It seems they need to hear that acknowledgment,even if you cannot stop the'machine'they seem comforted to know not all humans are in denial..
I am very disgusted by corporate farms.And I am even more disgusted because of what animals have shown me. But I also realize if you are poor you don't have alot of options,the animals understand this when I tell them.The chickens seem to understand that too.But also they are saying they are being abused and they want every human to realize that and admit it is wrong. And so they are pushing back in their own way for a solution to their own suffering. This is why there is a bird flu. It is a cry for justice.So if we will not stop corporate abuse of chickens or at least acknowledge that abuse of animals by corporations is wrong,than the chickens will use their powers to hurt us until we stop abusing them.This is what it has come to.
This is the gist of the messages I have gotten from Blackie about Bird flu.
He also asks for our appreciation & blessings for all chickens,and whatever other meat we eat and asks us for help for all animals mistreated by for profit corporations that think living beings are just products to use and abuse..
I saw Blackie again in a dream ,a few days ago,he asked me to tell people about the dreams. To tell them why and to warn them.
Blackie himself is torn up inside.. He knows people can be kind, he was giving me memories of snuggling with me, from a chickens perspective and it choked me up.And after that he showed me some asshole on a factory farm assembly line dumping a chicken that was not dead yet into a scalding tank,I saw this incident from that chickens point of view and it was horrific. I felt so sad after the fear wore off..
Blackie was saying he was confused about humans. He wants people to understand chickens have spirits too and they feel and they are not stupid. He told me the spirits of chickens at factory farms are in anguish they are confused and they linger around the Earth because they don't know what to do.They are angry and traumatized and they are causing problems because nobody cares about their spirits as if they don't have spirits. So they are stuck in a kind of limbo.
I think the Chickens are asking us to help them somehow,even if it is simple acknowledgment of the abuses that go on are wrong while we eat chicken and to help their spirits to go home..
In the most recent dream,Blackie showed me Maryland,he took me to Montgomery County ,He took me to Delaware too, somewhere on the eastern shore,and showed me in pictures that Bird Flu will be here this summer from the looks of the trees it looked like june or july..
So I'm putting this up here.For Blackie.
We need to help the chicken spirits go home.We need to help the chickens suffering here if we can.If we want to avoid being hit hard by the Bird Flu.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x19381
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Thanks for adding that, bijou, madam.
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I wish I could remember specifically enough recap. I my opinion the Blackie the Ghost Chicken post would have to be considered one of the top 10 DUmp posts of all time. I have no doubt that a good Hollywood screenwriter could create a successful sitcom series from that post. I place it above the post where she astral travels to panther mountain and plays with astral panthers and above the post where she was held hostage as a child and forced to drink organic pineapple juice in order to remote view.
hahahahahahahaha
She took that movie "Cat People" with Natassja Kinski way too seriously. Face it, that woman was pretty hawt while UGP makes people run in the other direction.
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http://www.myspace.com/undergroundpanther
Barf bag alert.
UGP put the "UG" in "UGLY"....
She's so ugly, if you look up "ugly" in the dictionary, you'd see these pictures....
She's so ugly, when she walks into a room, the mice jump onto chairs....
She's so ugly, when 2 guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "RAPE!", and they yelled "NO!"
She's so ugly, she's known as a "2 bagger". That's when you wear a bag on YOUR head, in case the bag on HER head comes off....
She's so ugly, she's Planned Parenthood's poster child for birth control....
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Thanks bijou. That was quick.