The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bkg on December 13, 2009, 09:40:03 PM
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She's awesome and I adore her as a person - we're still very good friends. She's thinking about buying a house. Tryin to talk her into a townhome, and even found something perfect for her (her lifestyle, her needs) that is a few miles from her parents... Her eyes are getting bigger than her wallet, and I know that pushing her into the right decision will push her into making the wrong decision... She's stubborn like that. :banghead:
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Is that one of the reasons for the "ex" part?
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Is that one of the reasons for the "ex" part?
No. That mostly happened because of competing preferences. She lives in the city, I moved to the country after turning down a job in Nashville and she decided, even though she helped select the location, that if we got married, we'd have to move closer to the city. If BKG moves, it's from 5 acres to 20 acres... and farther out. She likes the city, I hate the city. I love the country, she isn't sure, so it was a better move to end as good friends than to get married and end up having tension over living in the country.
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It won't be long until Stillwater area is part of the "city"......
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As much as nice people like us would love to save the world, we just can't. She's not your child, so let her make her own mistakes (and proper choices) without your input.
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No. That mostly happened because of competing preferences. She lives in the city, I moved to the country after turning down a job in Nashville and she decided, even though she helped select the location, that if we got married, we'd have to move closer to the city. If BKG moves, it's from 5 acres to 20 acres... and farther out. She likes the city, I hate the city. I love the country, she isn't sure, so it was a better move to end as good friends than to get married and end up having tension over living in the country.
That sounds like a plot for a good sitcom. Oh wait, they already did that.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4[/youtube]
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stop stalking your ex.. :lmao:
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As much as nice people like us would love to save the world, we just can't. She's not your child, so let her make her own mistakes (and proper choices) without your input.
Agreed. It's worth one conversation and, if she asks your opinion, one recommendation.
After that, drop it. It's her deal.
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stop stalking your ex.. :lmao:
maybe the sex was good.
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Any attempt to influence her beyond just giving her a matter-of-fact one-time read on what you would do in her shoes and why will only serve to magically transform you into the bad guy later if it does go south. Even the one-time read has to end with something acknowledging that it it totally her call, of course.
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stop stalking your ex.. :lmao:
Do I detect a tone of jealousy? :tongue:
Don't worry, I'm only stalking you... :naughty:
She called me to talk about it. Gave her my opinion and then told her I no longer wanted to talk about it - beyond my recommendations and experience, she's going to make her own decision. She's a great girl. And she's stubborn. And yeah, it's her call and I fully get that. Just vented a bit.
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No. That mostly happened because of competing preferences. She lives in the city, I moved to the country after turning down a job in Nashville and she decided, even though she helped select the location, that if we got married, we'd have to move closer to the city. If BKG moves, it's from 5 acres to 20 acres... and farther out. She likes the city, I hate the city. I love the country, she isn't sure, so it was a better move to end as good friends than to get married and end up having tension over living in the country.
Green Acres is the place for me....
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Any attempt to influence her beyond just giving her a matter-of-fact one-time read on what you would do in her shoes and why will only serve to magically transform you into the bad guy later if it does go south. Even the one-time read has to end with something acknowledging that it it totally her call, of course.
Most definitely!!!
As a Realtor....I've watched parents and friends get involved...and it can be disastorous.
Unless some of your money is involved....go look, but be very very careful in your remarks.
There is obviously a huge amount of money being spent and you don't want to be blamed if something goes wrong. It won't be your fault that something went wrong....but believe me ...IT WILL TURN OUT TO BE YOUR FAULT!!
I sold a house to an EX friend....key word "EX". Great house, last one to be built in the subdivision, the builder wanted to be done, I negotiated a ton of extras, and at a price $20,000 LESS THAN LIST!!!! Not bragging, but I did a great job for her, plus I took a cut in commission to get her all her little "bennies" ....like granite counter tops!
2600 SF and she bought it for $176,000 including closing costs. She had a good job.
Then she went crazy spending money.
Got rid of her paid for car for a newer Lexus SUV, an expensive wedding for her daughter (even though the daughter had an incredible job - mom paid for EVERY thing!), furniture and all kinds of accessories, etc.
Wells Fargo sent her an offer of a huge home equity becuase she bought the house at $30,000 less than it could be valued for a year later. She took it.
Then she refinanced again...because she enlarged the deck, traded in her car for yet a newer Lexus SUV because she wanted a different color ("you know black just shows too much dust" ::) ) decided to turn the whole first flr that wasn't tile to hardwood....and wanted to redecorate.
Then she refinanced again....because she was broke.
Ultimately she filed for bankruptcy and walked away from her house.....with a mortgage on it of $279,000!!!!!
She told everyone she could that it was my fault because "Deb talked me into buying a house I couldn't afford!"
To top it off....the condo she moved out of? Rather than renting it out, which she could easily have done and still easily qualified for her new original loan...she panicked. Asked my other half to buy it...and he said yes. So he bought it. And...AND ....AND....loaned her $12000 for a tummy tuck and boob job at a good interest rate for her, and better than what he was making with it in the bank....and a contract to repay it was made.
She's never paid the money back...which is another whole story.....
Thank God he doesn't drink any more.... :uhsure:
I tell you all this because when it comes to money....be very very careful with advising or helping friends out.
It can be a very very bad decision..... :(
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good point. Like the saying never go into business with friends and family
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Friend asked me to go in business with her.
No Forking way will that ever happen. Not worth mixing friends and money. My (former?) best friend has been my realtor for 6 years. Won't use him anymore; causes too much tension.
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Friend asked me to go in business with her.
No Forking way will that ever happen. Not worth mixing friends and money. My (former?) best friend has been my realtor for 6 years. Won't use him anymore; causes too much tension.
I've become very good friends with a client. Because we were business acquaintances first....we established a business relationship before friendship. And I was acquaintances with someone else before we started doing business together, now we, too, are good friends. I've done 7 deals with the first one in the last year and 9 with the other over several years. Both were very savvy investors before I met them...and while I offer my opinion - sometimes I have come right out and told them no they shouldn't do the deal and with one I've told her twice you really need to do the deal (she's almost doubled her investment in one house that she didn't want to spend so much money for the initial investment!)...ultimately I know and they know - the final decision is theirs. I've also learned a lot from both of them. (both are women married to contractors - husbands let them make the final decision)
Business is business and everything else ain't.
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I've become very good friends with a client. Because we were business acquaintances first....we established a business relationship before friendship. And I was acquaintances with someone else before we started doing business together, now we, too, are good friends. I've done 7 deals with the first one in the last year and 9 with the other over several years. Both were very savvy investors before I met them...and while I offer my opinion - sometimes I have come right out and told them no they shouldn't do the deal and with one I've told her twice you really need to do the deal (she's almost doubled her investment in one house that she didn't want to spend so much money for the initial investment!)...ultimately I know and they know - the final decision is theirs. I've also learned a lot from both of them. (both are women married to contractors - husbands let them make the final decision)
Business is business and everything else ain't.
Some of my best friends started as customers.
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Some of my best friends started as customers.
Tricks don't count.
:tongue:
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Tricks don't count.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
:tongue: