The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on November 30, 2009, 02:59:57 PM

Title: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 30, 2009, 02:59:57 PM
So this DUmmy becomes maybe the first DUmmy in the history of the DUmp to get a year-end bonus:
Quote
Mad_Dem_X  (1000+ posts)      Mon Nov-30-09 02:47 PM
Original message
I'm getting a bonus at work!
They just told us this morning - for the first time in the company's long history, they are giving everyone a year-end bonus. Those, like me, who have been here 6 months or more will get $2,000! 

So, how's YOUR Monday going?

Edited to add: I just wanted to post some good news today. This was not meant to be a boastful post.
 
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9146963

A $2000 bonus, in one chunk, is an almost inconceivable windfall to most DUmmies. But wait until the DUmmy sees how much of that $2000 the tax-and-spenders allow to trickle down into his check. His dream of a hugely increased stash is probably overly optimistic.

No comments yet. DUmmies are sure to credit the jug-eared muslim for this renewal of the American Dream.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on November 30, 2009, 03:03:27 PM
Quote
Edited to add: I just wanted to post some good news today. This was not meant to be a boastful post.

 :whatever: :whatever: :whatever:
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: jukin on November 30, 2009, 04:02:15 PM
Bonus = Profit = Evil [/DUmp]

Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: franksolich on November 30, 2009, 04:29:50 PM
The primitives don't seem too happy about the good fortune of one of their own.

Only two responses to that bonfire.

Jealous, weak, sniveling primitives.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: AllosaursRus on November 30, 2009, 04:52:43 PM
Quote
like me, who have been here 6 months or more

6 months?!!!! Ya gots to be kiddin' me! I thought you had to have a little more loyalty than that. What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

Damn, I otta be worth a mil!
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: franksolich on November 30, 2009, 04:53:54 PM
6 months?!!!! Ya gots to be kiddin' me! I thought you had to have a little more loyalty than that. What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

Damn, I otta be worth a mil!

Or, remember the First Rule of Watching the Primitives.

DUmmies lie; all the time, DUmmies lie.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: bkg on November 30, 2009, 04:59:07 PM
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Tucker on November 30, 2009, 06:25:46 PM
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:

DUmmy's don't mind taxes as long as someone else is paying them. Look at the top tax man.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: crockspot on November 30, 2009, 06:34:03 PM
The last time I got a holiday cash bonus was..... hmmm.... 1986?
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Oceander on November 30, 2009, 07:09:40 PM
So, now that he's made a windfall profit above and beyond what everyone else is earning ....

... is he going to redistribute it to those who didn't get such bonuses?

I didn't think so.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Freeper on November 30, 2009, 07:22:56 PM
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:

Oh yeah its going to be funny as hell when he whines that Uncle Sam took his out of that bonus.  :-)

The last bonus I got was $250 and most of that went to the IRS.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Chris_ on November 30, 2009, 07:42:29 PM
Mad_Dem_X better stay off the Unemployment thread... :-)
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: bkg on November 30, 2009, 07:50:30 PM
DUmmy's don't mind taxes as long as someone else is paying them. Look at the top tax man.

Yeah.. but this will come right out of this guys check. Most of my income is bonus/commission... taxes suck.

Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Freeper on November 30, 2009, 07:54:11 PM
Yeah.. but this will come right out of this guys check. Most of my income is bonus/commission... taxes suck.



Wait a second drug dealers usually do not do withholding for mules as far as I know anyway. So he won't have to worry about taxes.  :lmao:
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 30, 2009, 07:57:18 PM
Quote
What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

It's very common for companies to pay incentive bonuses based on company results to every staff employee. The amount is usually a percentage of base salary, and is pro-rated for those employees who have been with the company for less than the full year.

A flat $2000 bonus sounds sort of fishy, unless it's a contractual payment to union drones, or a boiler room full of minimum wage earners who rarely last 6 months.
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Karin on December 01, 2009, 08:51:26 AM
There's about 10 responses so far.  Hippywife chimed in, and left one of her signature waving icons.  Another guy warned him not to post it in gen disc.  Congrats to the DUmmy. 
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: AllosaursRus on December 01, 2009, 11:56:28 AM
Hell, I think he ought to post it on the unemployment thread. The outcome would be hilarious!
Title: Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
Post by: Duke Nukum on December 01, 2009, 05:59:43 PM
I hope he'll be turning all that money in to the U.S Treasury to pay for someone else's health care.