The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on November 27, 2009, 06:34:00 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x151698
Oh my.
The bonfire's an article, not the lighting primitive's own story.
Christa (1000+ posts) Fri Nov-27-09 11:09 AM
Original message
My Gay Thanksgiving
My mother, the matriarch of the family, will preside over a dinner table with my sister and me, my partner, our children and the gay baby daddy. Love is love and our family is the richer for it. But many black LGBT folks aren’t as fortunate as I am.
A few months ago over dinner with my mother, I leaned across the table and asked, “Do you wish I was straight?â€
During a pause that seemed at least nine months pregnant, I felt myself dancing with the demon I thought had left my party long ago.
Over the past 20 years, my mother has moved from standing over me and shouting, “You are NOT gay because no daughter of mine would ever be a lesbian,†to assuming her place at the head of the large and colorful network that we call our family.
This Thanksgiving, she will preside over our crowded table like the stately queen of a small country. Our family includes my sister and me; my partner, Jana, and our 10-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter; Lorry, the gay man who fathered the children; and an assortment of friends, exes, aunties and god-children. I am thankful that when my mother bows her head and blesses our family, she means it.
Still, as I looked at my mother’s face that evening, trying to read the emotion I saw flicker across her brow, I wondered, “Does my mother really accept me for who I am?â€
That is the central dilemma that plagues so many of us who are black and LGBT. The closet is a dark and lonely place, and even in the gay pride decade of Wanda Sykes, Adam Lambert, Rachel Maddow, The L Word, Ellen and Portia, Brokeback Mountain and Milk, many of us remain stuck inside. Whether we call it on the down low or undercover, large numbers of us are still sitting in the darkness wondering and worrying, will I still be invited to Thanksgiving if my family, my black family, knows I’m gay?
Full article
http://www.theroot.com/views/my-gay-thanksgiving
beyurslf (1000+ posts) Fri Nov-27-09 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
1. I think a better question to ask is if they are happy that we are happy.
I am gay and have 4 kids. One of them is gay. If I could change it, though, I would. As parents, we want what is best for our kids and being gay is hard. I wish he didn't have to go through that. So if I had a magic fairy wand to change him to straight, then I would. But I don't and I am happy he is happy. I am happier still that he didn't have to go through everything I did and I know that someday his kids will have it even better.
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3-2-1 until the pole smoking militia take that poster for an educational trip to the woodshed.
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This whole thread at DU is gay -- not in the homosexual way, but the 80's way. -- As in, 'Dude, that is so gay.'
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This whole thread at DU is gay -- not in the homosexual way, but the 80's way. -- As in, 'Dude, that is so gay.'
I believe that the spelling that you're looking for is "ghey."
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I believe that the spelling that you're looking for is "ghey."
yeah, that's the way its spelled now, but there's no 'h' in the eighties..oh wait.. :-)
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I know they'd hate to admit it, but the simple fact is that being gay is far from the only reason a person might question the level of love and acceptance felt from parents. ::) Of corse, psychology is big on blaming "mom&dad" for everything a child (of any age) might do or feel, but it's true that many, many adults question the love & support - or lack thereof - from their parents. So sorry, DUmmies, but you're whining about something fairly universal...not at ALL a GLBTetc.etc. issue. ::)
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Arkkkkkk Give me a freaking break here.
Few children grow up to meet their parents expectations or that of their in-laws.
Even Rose Kennedy had a few meowww comments about Jacky and the length of her skirts.
Will the Gay community ever stop complaining about issues with their sex life and family. Darn they are not Special Folk, they are just like everyone else with the same problems.
Someone in a family may object to your life style when you are heterosexual but we have to accept it and them, they don't have to except you. People can get as mean and nasty toward you for any reason, jealousy or whatever.
If one is gay then you are afforded political correctness and your failings are not about you but your unchosen life style. You are covered by the law that says everyone must except you or be judged as person of HATE.
Actually being Gay has its perks, if one is OUT at work and gets fired---pull out the Gay Card. Turned down for a loan or new car, pull out the Gay Card.
You see Heterosexuals are what they are, sometimes. No excuse for human failure.
Gays are however born gay without their knowledge until they have a few short years living as a Heterosexual have a few marriages and produce, then do some realise they were Gay all the time. So they say.
Some know right off the bat they are Gay and if their family do not except them after 16 years living with them raising them, loving them the problem is theirs to muddle through.
So one raises a child that lives a double life, they are one thing to their family and live a different life outside the family.
Sooner or later the real you will come out and shatter all the preconceptions the family has had of you.
Now after living a lie to yourself and to friend and family, you the gigantic EGO, expect them to after years of knowing you to throw away all the memories and except a total stranger.
Why can't Gays have understanding and compassion for family that has been hit upside the head that you are not the person you led them to believe you were.
You except to be accepted by people that have known you for years and now bounce in and announce you are a stranger to them.
This seems to me to be a cruel way to treat family, expecting everyone in the family to just go with the flow and not question or become confused.
It is not the family that is mean spirited, it is those that demand their family to accept a child they do not know.
All your life you have been messing with the minds of friends and family, they see you as they know you. Then one day you decide to ROCK their WORLD.
I have respect for Gays that from the git go let family know who they are.
I have no respect for anyone with children who suddenly become Gay----Sounds not like anyone can turn gay but gets a sexual fetish.
BTW, if woman and men are born gay, why do so many gays have a history of Heterosexually and have reproduced.???
I apologise if I have offended anyone here, this is a place for differing openions and I will stand that Most if not all Gays is grounded in a sexual fetish, so be it, I get all week in the knees for the smell of leather to each their own.
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I get all week in the knees for the smell of leather to each their own.
Are you hot?
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Are you hot?
or maybe old?
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People are not born homo's. It's a choice they make.
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Self important bullshit. "Hi! We're gay! Accept us or you're a bigot!" What 2 people do behind closed doors is their business. Just don't flaunt it in front of me and demand that I accept it.
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I am happier still that he didn't have to go through everything I did and I know that someday his kids will have it even better.
Just how the hell are they gonna be his kids? Genetically speaking of course. Find a surrogate les? These people really try my patience. Why in the hell would even a gay individual want to raise a child in that enviro? Talk about not knowing which end is up! (pun intended)
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What I am truly thankful for is that the thread did not devolve into a discussion of various techniques for "stuffing the bird". :tongue:
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What I am truly thankful for is that the thread did not devolve into a discussion of various techniques for "stuffing the bird". :tongue:
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Now that's funny!!!!
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How many times did she have to tell us she was black in the OP?