The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on November 25, 2009, 05:01:01 PM
-
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x10092
Oh my.
A world of woes for the subway cat.
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 12:04 AM
Original message
I think I'm relapsing.****.
I have been feeling bad.Overwhelmed,I think I messed up my budget too.I am really short.I got maybe 10 bucks.I am losing time,and the nightmares are getting so bad I was scared to sleep alone last night.
I feel really out of it.I feel very alien and alone.I am getting dissociative headaches all the time.
I dread the holidaze.I feel abandoned my birthday was hard.I feel suicidal alot and I hear sounds and snippets of conversations.I dunno what to do.I feel this terrible dread,this anger and sadness,I cry and I feel have no one.I feel the future before me is hell.I feel like I am just waiting here in this lifeless house to die.I can't feel joy,it is dead.I wake up sweating heart pounding.Spontaniously I get the physical symptoms of panic without the emotions there.
One nightmare I had this weekend was of being thrown in a room . I was thrown in there so hard I hit the floor and was knocked out(in the dream). As I came too I saw the room it had steel walls and a round door kind of like a bank vault.
I tried to breathe,to yell for help, but I couldn't inhale. I dunno if the air had been taken out of the room or my lungs didn't work.It was terrifying.
I think the subway cat needs to get a job.
Work not only ameliorates depression, but also makes one have fewer delusions.
The road to sanity for the subway cat: work.
elleng (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
1. SO SORRY.
Where in MD are you?
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I'm
In Harford county.I got to go try to sleep soon(wish me luck) cause I got my day program tomorrow.ugh.
Gonna try to get a moment with my overburdened counselor there. None of the counselors at Alliance have time to talk with clients,they have HUGE caseloads and shit loads of paperwork so nobody has any time.If you appear high functioning,and I do, I pretty much can go there for a week and my counselor won't say boo to me or ask if I'm doing ok.But she always makes sure the damn papers are signed. it's sad really,and it pisses me off.I have been in a crisis there before and last time it happened we had at least five interruptions for the ten or so minutes I was in her office trying to get my shit together.
Ewwww.
Odin2005 (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-24-09 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
3. Call your Psych, NOW!
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-24-09 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
4. Still here.
Maraya1969 (1000+ posts) Wed Nov-25-09 04:50 AM
Response to Original message
5. So sorry you're having a down time. Know that it will pass.
It'd pass a lot quicker if the subway cat was working for a living.
-
Someone needs to take her to the vet and have her put to sleep. No animal should suffer like that.
-
I thought she had a pole smoking boyfriend? What happened to him? Did he die from AIDS?
-
Relapsing into what? A human?
-
The road to sanity for the subway cat: work.
Yeah. And if Ringling Brothers isn't hiring, there are always lots of county fairs every year.
-
I thought she had a pole smoking boyfriend? What happened to him? Did he die from AIDS?
I was just going to say...
She must have hissed at him one too many times. :-)
JHC, she's hearing voices, can't sleep, wants to off herself. She's going
to kill herself one day and maybe someone on her precious DUmp may
notice...after 6 months.
-
Someone needs to take her to the vet and have her put to sleep. No animal should suffer like that.
:lmao:
-
This is the norm ::) for DU, yet they think they know what's best for all of us. They cannot manage their own emotions, yet they want to manage the country. :banghead:
-
If I was feeling like offing myself...the last place I'd go for a glimmer of hope to keep me from doing it would be the DUmp.
That fu*king place would only make me wonder why I didn't do it sooner.
-
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 12:04 AM
Original message
I think I'm relapsing.****.
I have been feeling bad.Overwhelmed,I think I messed up my budget too.I am really short.I got maybe 10 bucks.I am losing time,and the nightmares are getting so bad I was scared to sleep alone last night.
I feel really out of it.I feel very alien and alone.I am getting dissociative headaches all the time.
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
-
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
DUDE!...seriously...what ever happened to the courtesy of a Spork Alert on stuff like that! :bird:
-
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
Oh my.
Two full pages of photographs of the subway cat.
The one I like best is where mom is flipping her off.
-
Oh.
My.
God.
Is that really him/her/it???
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/ColonialMarine/Smilies/11sjkv4.gif)(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/ColonialMarine/Smilies/runforhills.gif)
-
Oh.
My.
God.
Is that really him/her/it???
Yes. Yes it is.
This must be your first encounter with UGP.
I'm kinda surprised that he/she/it hasn't been carted off to the booby hatch for their bi-annual internment in a rubber room.
-
Oh.
My.
God.
Is that really him/her/it???
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/ColonialMarine/Smilies/11sjkv4.gif)(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/ColonialMarine/Smilies/runforhills.gif)
You got to be kidding, sir.
Most of us were long ago enured to the spectacle.
Did you think we were exaggerating, perhaps?
-
Truly sad. Hilarious. But sad.
-
You keep saying she should get a job.. Even in the worst days of the Bush economy, when unemployment was at 4.7%, I could not imagine anyone demented enough to hire her.
Now that unemployment is heading to toward 20%, your advice is even more impossible for her to follow.
-
Truly sad. Hilarious. But sad.
Some things are just so sad that one can do nothing but laugh.
Really; that's one of my major philosophies of life.
It doesn't pertain to sad things such as genocide or murder or oppression or famine or disease, but only specifically to self-imposed misery. People engaged in a self-guided destiny of self-destruction cannot be stopped (delayed perhaps for a while, but in the end, never stopped).
What else can one do?
-
You keep saying she should get a job.. Even in the worst days of the Bush economy, when unemployment was at 4.7%, I could not imagine anyone demented enough to hire her.
Now that unemployment is heading to toward 20%, your advice is even more impossible for her to follow.
It's obvious, sir, the subway cat is ill-fitted to be executive vice-president of a multi-national corporation, or even a cashier at McDonald's.
However, as I've suggested in the past, the subway cat could don one of those fluorescent orange vests, hop into the back of a pick-up truck, and with others, get down as needed to pick up trash from the streets and sidewalks.
-
Ya know, after ya view those pics it should be apparent to any sane person, liberalism is a disease! Looking at this abomination, I'd venture to say, nearly as deadly as the plague! Well, maybe not that bad, but it sure as hell explains a lot, don't it?
-
It's obvious, sir, the subway cat is ill-fitted to be executive vice-president of a multi-national corporation, or even a cashier at McDonald's.
However, as I've suggested in the past, the subway cat could don one of those fluorescent orange vests, hop into the back of a pick-up truck, and with others, get down as needed to pick up trash from the streets and sidewalks.
At the very least, he/she/it could direct traffic for crews repairing/picking up trash along the highway....
I can see something like that holding a sign better than I can it flipping burgers....
-
At the very least, he/she/it could direct traffic for crews repairing/picking up trash along the highway....
I can see something like that holding a sign better than I can it flipping burgers....
Would anyone really want that thing within 100feet of their food ? Never mind actually handling it *gag*.
-
An update from the subway cat:
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Thu Nov-26-09 02:57 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. sucks and stinks
Got up went to program.It was chaos today,everything was irritating the **** out of me,even the normal sounds were like fingernails on chalkboard. Than I came home and was just exhausted, but too tired to sleep.So I laid down with my cats,listening to the noises in my head.
Than at one point today I got really creeped out.I have no recall of what it was about .But I still managed to make banana pudding,homemade custard vanilla wafers and banana slices kind,and I will be cooking ..ugh.a huge turkey tommorrow.
I feel like crap.Can't sleep,my muscles hurt,my scalp is having a zit fest and I am clawing up my scalp. I'm gonna try to sleep again,wish me luck.
In case one's not aware of this, the subway cat attends some sort of "day care" for the adult mentally-incompetent; that's the "program" she's describing.
-
DUDE!...seriously...what ever happened to the courtesy of a Spork Alert on stuff like that! :bird:
I'm with you on this! :spork:
-
Would anyone really want that thing within 100feet of their food ? Never mind actually handling it *gag*.
When I first saw her pics, I thought it was from a Halloween party or something....
The I realized it was the way she actually looked! :puke:
At least we can hope she doesn't reproduce, or at least her kids turn out to be....normal?
-
When I first saw her pics, I thought it was from a Halloween party or something....
The I realized it was the way she actually looked! :puke:
At least we can hope she doesn't reproduce, or at least her kids turn out to be....normal?
At the age of 45 years, and with all the messing with her body, I doubt the subway cat can reproduce, even if the subway cat wanted too.
Good for us.
-
Well, if I looked like that I would be depressed too.
-
At the age of 45 years, and with all the messing with her body, I doubt the subway cat can reproduce, even if the subway cat wanted too.
Good for us.
Good for us....
Better for humanity....
-
At the age of 45 years, and with all the messing with her body, I doubt the subway cat can reproduce, even if the subway cat wanted too.
Good for us.
Ya know, you'd think that, in all of its' years upon the Earth, it would get sick of being smacked by a cluebat, and wise up. :banghead:
I guess not.
-
My suggestions for employment for the subway cat: rent itself out as a float in a freak parade or work in a tattoo/body mod parlor as a bad example.
-
If only she'd actually try to get better, rather than railing against the "stystem," maybe I'd have more pity. You're not allowed to whine about not feeling well if you refuse to do anything about getting better.
She needs to be committed. She's a danger to herself.
It makes me sad.
-
If only she'd actually try to get better, rather than railing against the "stystem," maybe I'd have more pity. You're not allowed to whine about not feeling well if you refuse to do anything about getting better.
She needs to be committed. She's a danger to herself.
It makes me sad.
It started its' fire. :fuelfire:
It has to put the fire out.
-
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
Holy moley!!! :rotf: I've never seen some of those before...
UGP...the face of the Tolerant Democratic Party. I'd really love to see some of the Dem Party elite get introduced to her...they'd probably stick their hands in acid afterwards. :-)
-
Some things are just so sad that one can do nothing but laugh.
Really; that's one of my major philosophies of life.
It doesn't pertain to sad things such as genocide or murder or oppression or famine or disease, but only specifically to self-imposed misery. People engaged in a self-guided destiny of self-destruction cannot be stopped (delayed perhaps for a while, but in the end, never stopped).
What else can one do?
I don't know if anyone ever determined UGP's gender. I can't just by looking at the photos.
And I certainly would not trust UGP's word.
I agree with you this doesn't look good. She's not with people who can help her. This can't be anything new. Her past threads show she has been in a self-hating, slow-motion suicide for years. And seeing she is with a daily adult protective service program...this is just sad. I agree with several posters here. UGP will disappear.
I'm reminded of the first chapter of Romans. There is a list of specific sins. If a person is enmeshed in one of those sinful lifestyles and will never repent, there is a curse. God will remove the restraint on evil and allow that person to fall into the utter depths of self induced depravity.
That sure looks like the case here. Liberalism is a destructive force that only enables sin and depravity. Tolerance sounds high and mighty until you see just what liberals are willing to tolerate.
-
Tolerance sounds high and mighty until you see just what liberals are willing to tolerate.
:clap: And that is one of the worst facets of liberalism.
-
I don't know if anyone ever determined UGP's gender. I can't just by looking at the photos.
And I certainly would not trust UGP's word.
Of course, sir, franksolich's Rule #1 of the primitives always applies.
DUmmies lie, all the time, DUmmies lie.
However, it's pretty well established that the subway cat is a femme, even though the subway cat wishes to be a homo.
-
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
Good God that's a freak of nature.
Put it down! For the sake of humanity, PUT IT DOWN!
-
Some good new photos. I think Momcat is probably representative of many, many parents of the DUmp.
-
However, it's pretty well established that the subway cat is a femme, even though the subway cat wishes to be a homo.
Good God Almighty. Wouldn't you hate to be the one tasked with that determination.
-
An update from the subway cat:
In case one's not aware of this, the subway cat attends some sort of "day care" for the adult mentally-incompetent; that's the "program" she's describing.
Ugh, gag, spit! Just the thought of It "clawing at It's scalp" full of zits, then putting It's hands on food meant to be served to others makes me nauseous!
As with GB, I suppose I should be feeling more compassion for the mentally impaired.
-
However, as I've suggested in the past, the subway cat could don one of those fluorescent orange vests, hop into the back of a pick-up truck, and with others, get down as needed to pick up trash from the streets and sidewalks.
If SC donned a fluorescent orange vest, could you tell?
-
if she's quit doublin up on her meds...most of the "problems" would go away....but then she wouldn't get any "attention"....
-
Ewww, eww, ewww - those pictures. Ewww, ewww, ewww. Just to clarify, this creature was born with a penis and he's trying to get rid of the penis, or is it the other way around?
It seems like this time of year, there is a group of DUmmies who conveniently talk about how little money they have left and they could be suicidal or, as the subway cat says, "clawing" at his head. I've got cats and those claws are sharp things - one wonders if he/she/it goes somewhere to have those done by a manicurist. But I digress....
What's obvious is that many of these DUmmies believe that if they casually mention they are down to their last $10, or whatever, and they are going to hurt themselves, what they are really doing is hinting for more drug money from the other DUmmies.
Last year it was TheStraightStory guy - the one who said he killed his daughter's kitten for some reason (I cannot recall why) but was upset because he couldn't buy his daughter any Christmas gifts.
-
Just to clarify, this creature was born with a penis and he's trying to get rid of the penis, or is it the other way around?
The other way around.
-
The other way around.
So it wants to have an addadictomy but obviously wants the taxpayers to pay.
-
So it wants to have an addadictomy but obviously wants the taxpayers to pay.
Yes
-
So it wants to have an addadictomy but obviously wants the taxpayers to pay.
It wants a tail , claws , (more) body hair and some dental work as well if that's not too much to ask.
-
Damn....just damn!
Never saw that coming, nope!
NEVER...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=204014095&albumId=546683
Oh my that made me nauseated. I thought people like that only existed in the world of television/Hollywood. There was something depraved/decadent about seeing a human looking that way, something very disquieting and discomforting. Call me boring, I like my life and its environs to remain in the realm of normality.
-
I'm certain the Subway Cat isn't long for this world. A less happier person I have never seen. I think once she finishes her journey to maleness, she will find he is just as unhappy as she is now.
-
The latest from the subway cat:
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Fri Nov-27-09 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I love the night too
It's weird I just listen to the sounds in my head.I don't fear it.I kinda feel comforted by it.I think if I had just silence I'd lose it.I think this is because I spent 18 months in a 'quiet' room.That was before there were laws limiting use of seclusion/restraints.
Now I am very unmotivated,don't want to be doing anything.Spent the day vegging out.I dread weekends.For me weekends are lonely,isolated and pointless.I go from dread to apathy.I have had a headache all day.I have been clawing the crap out of my skin, my scalp had a few bumps awhile ago now it's a scabby mess.I'm wearing a bandanna to try to give it a chance to heal.
It seems like putting the subway cat into restraints might actually save her life.
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Sat Nov-28-09 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. I already take allergy meds and I get allergy shots. My allergist is really good.The scalp thing I think is a mix of psychological and physical.I do get very tranced out when I pick.It becomes a mess,I heal it up,than I get new zits and it starts all over again.
-
It seems like putting the subway cat into restraints might actually save her life.
http://www.petplace.com/cats/elizabethan-collars-for-cats-e-collars/page1.aspx
-
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Sat Nov-28-09 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. I already take allergy meds and I get allergy shots. My allergist is really good.The scalp thing I think is a mix of psychological and physical.I do get very tranced out when I pick.It becomes a mess,I heal it up,than I get new zits and it starts all over again.
If you'd quit turning your hair every color of the rainbow and maybe wash it every once in awhile...your scalp wouldn't itch and break out so much.
-
If you'd quit turning your hair every color of the rainbow and maybe wash it every once in awhile...your scalp wouldn't itch and break out so much.
Wash? :rotf:
-
Wash? :rotf:
With kerosene . . .
-
More from the subway cat; the maternal ancestress must've moved:
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Sun Nov-29-09 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. I've taken prednisone before
Pills, for my back,and yeah it made me a bit loopy.Didn't like it mentally, but it really helped the pain.So I put up with the 21 day regimen. After that, never again unless I have no other options.Ain't going there again. So I haven't took prednisone for over a year.
I see my psych on Monday,my therapist on Thursday.
I miss seeing her on Mondays.Weekends suck for me always because everything is shut down. I feel so trapped here,and the weekend just make the trapped feeling worse.
My sisters again didn't give a shit,never called nothing and I have repeatedly reached out to them and get no reply.
Yeah it hurts.
My mom is 500 miles away,I wish she'd move back but than again it might not be good for either one of us.I dunno.Whenever she comes down my sisters try to make her not take her own car,so I end up not seeing her much and that is how they manipulate how much I see her and it pisses me off,it pisses her off and I have no say in it..
My mom walked from my sisters house to my house last time she was up here.I couldn't walk down there because I was recovering from surgery.Mom said she hated being at my sisters house alone al day with no car while my sister was at work.
My first thought,and I didn't say it,was, than why do you expect me to like it year after year?
Ironic considering most of my life has been spent trapped at home alone day after day,after school waiting for people to get off work, or trying not to get cornered by my asshole father the drunk,I'd sit alone in my room,This is what life dumped on me as it is until this day,I have always been at home alone with no way to get out.If I wasn't trapped in a psych ward somewhere it was trapped at home. I hate suburbs,and I hate my life.
If I was to change things, I would live in a artist type community where no one was abandoned and it would be an asshole free zone.Everyone had their own space but there were places to gather.Places to go.
But as far as I can tell nothing on Earth exists like that.
-
People this far out are a bit of an anomily to me. Is that a man or a woman by birth?
-
People this far out are a bit of an anomily to me. Is that a man or a woman by birth?
A woman by birth.
-
A woman by birth.
Thanks Bro.
Still damn scary!!
-
UGP has the sort of mental issues that make her a danger to herself. The constant affirmation she gets from the DUmp, and seemingly from those around her in real life, keeps her from realizing that it is not normal, or healthy, for 45 year old woman to want to be a male cat. I have no doubt that she went through some sort of trauma and or abuse in her past because she has such self-hatred.
-
UGP has the sort of mental issues that make her a danger to herself. The constant affirmation she gets from the DUmp, and seemingly from those around her in real life, keeps her from realizing that it is not normal, or healthy, for 45 year old woman to want to be a male cat. I have no doubt that she went through some sort of trauma and or abuse in her past because she has such self-hatred.
That's no excuse. Your parents may have sat you on the potty the wrong way as a child, but if still sit that way as an adult, that's your problem.
-
That's no excuse. Your parents may have sat you on the potty the wrong way as a child, but if still sit that way as an adult, that's your problem.
Oh, I'm not excusing it, just saying that she needs very serious psychological help. DU has become her enabler, telling her that it is "okay" to insist on a taxpayer funded sex change. Before she had the surgery where her breasts were removed, she posted rants about how much she hated them, and got freaking sympathy!
-
Oh, I'm not excusing it, just saying that she needs very serious psychological help. DU has become her enabler, telling her that it is "okay" to insist on a taxpayer funded sex change.
Before she had the surgery where her breasts were removed, she posted rants about how much she hated them, and got freaking sympathy!
Oh yeah, I remember that too, but alas for the subway cat, breast-removal is perhaps all she's going to get in this sex-change thing. I can't see any psychiatrist or psychologist giving the green-light for anything else, and besides, the longer it goes, the more likely it is public funds won't be available.
-
Oh, I'm not excusing it, just saying that she needs very serious psychological help. DU has become her enabler, telling her that it is "okay" to insist on a taxpayer funded sex change. Before she had the surgery where her breasts were removed, she posted rants about how much she hated them, and got freaking sympathy!
Yikes! I don't know the whole story. I can't understand a woman voluntarily removing a breast. I have a friend who had breast cancer and had to have one removed. It devastated her. She thought she was less of a woman until me and some friends assured her after the implants that she was the same beautiful, desirable woman. But there was more. It was deep down, inside her that made her special.
-
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Sun Nov-29-09 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. I've taken prednisone before
Pills, for my back,and yeah it made me a bit loopy.Didn't like it mentally, but it really helped the pain.So I put up with the 21 day regimen. After that, never again unless I have no other options.Ain't going there again. So I haven't took prednisone for over a year.
I see my psych on Monday,my therapist on Thursday.
I miss seeing her on Mondays.Weekends suck for me always because everything is shut down. I feel so trapped here,and the weekend just make the trapped feeling worse.
Blah blah blah.....
I am on 50 mg of Prednisone (for 4 days so far) and will most likely have to be on it for about a month then probably go on Methotrexate (a chemo drug). I have been on Prednisone before this for long term (I'm talking YEARS, about 10 years ago) and all I can say to UP is screw you. I know you are sick in the head but I would gladly switch "illnesses" with you in a heart beat (as long as I don't have to look like you). My right eye is now so ****ing blurry that I am afraid I am going blind (from UVeitis). I don't know if the blurry eye is from the UVeitis (I know some of it is), the Pred forte (a steroid drop I am also taking) or if I am going freaking blind. My damn eye is PULSATING and it is scaring me. I have had a stroke because of a rare auto-immune disease, I have reactive arthritis as well as SVT (Supraventricular tachycardia). I have had stints in three arteries (carotid, subclavian and vertebral) because of the auto-immune disease on the right side and my carotid and subclavian on the left are totally occluded (that is why I had the stroke). You are such a pitiful soul, I don't know what screwed you up but you should be happy that you don't have some serious life threatening disease that can KILL YOU (I'm talking die when you don't want to die, not by your own hand you miserable excuse for a human being).
I am so sick of hearing how sucky her life is. How miserable she is. Everything is self inflicted. She CHOOSES to look the way she does. She sets out to set herself apart from everyone, to not fit in, to look like a freak. Then she bitches because she is not accepted yet she is the one who made herself not acceptable. I am sure this is my steroids talking because I have been an angry mess today. I am so sick of hearing any of them bitch about how miserable they are, how they want everyone else to pay for their bad choices in life, how it is always someone else's fault. Well I can say with out a shadow of doubt that my medical issues are beyond my control. It's not because I have some freak view that I am a male cat, I don't have diabetes because I'm over weight, I didn't do drugs to cause this, I am not an alcoholic and I have never smoked ANYTHING in my life.
I am normally a happy person and I know this is the steroids talking but it pisses me off that these people don't want to help themselves. They want to sit at home and wait for someone to save them. Well no one is coming UP. Help yourself and stop setting yourself up for failure.
Whew, I feel better now. I think I needed that. You all can just ignore what I wrote above, I think I just needed to vent.
*edited to add: My life growing up wasn't a walk in the park either UP. My Dad was an alcoholic just like yours, as was my step dad. I had dyslexia during elementary school and had (had is the operative word) a HUGE inferiority complex because of it. But guess what...I got over it. I don't blame by illnesses, my Dad being an alcoholic or my hard time in school as an excuse to be a freak. Something I will never get over though is my brothers death last year of a methadone overdose, that is something you just can't get over. You go on ahead and do something selfish like kill yourself and leave the few people who do actually love you behind to feel the guilt. Just think what you could have accomplished, what a sad life you have.
-
I think I scared everyone off..... :p
-
I think you pretty well summed it up. :cheersmate:
-
I think you pretty well summed it up. :cheersmate:
I just reread what I wrote, I sound a bit angry. :-)
-
You are such a pitiful soul, I don't know what screwed you up but you should be happy that you don't have some serious life threatening disease that can KILL YOU (I'm talking die when you don't want to die, not by your own hand you miserable excuse for a human being).
I am so sick of hearing how sucky her life is. How miserable she is. Everything is self inflicted. She CHOOSES to look the way she does. She sets out to set herself apart from everyone, to not fit in, to look like a freak. Then she bitches because she is not accepted yet she is the one who made herself not acceptable.
:clap:
-
I had no idea you were going through all of that, BEG. Do you have lupus? A lot of what you say about some of your arteries sounds like my sister, who had lupus.
You have every right to be angry about someone like UGP who apparently brings most of her maladies on herself and then begs for sympathy from the DUmp. Talk about abusing the health care system.
:heart:
-
BEG :heart:
-
I had no idea you were going through all of that, BEG. Do you have lupus? A lot of what you say about some of your arteries sounds like my sister, who had lupus.
You have every right to be angry about someone like UGP who apparently brings most of her maladies on herself and then begs for sympathy from the DUmp. Talk about abusing the health care system.
:heart:
No it's not lupus (although I know it was considered before I was diangosed). It's called Takayasu's Arteritis (http://www.vasculitisfoundation.org/takayasusarteritis). I was first diagnosed when I had my stroke back in 1995. TA causes your arteries to inflame then ultimately close. I had serious symptoms for quite a few months before I had my stroke but I was 27 at the time and didn't think anything this serious could be wrong with me. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child they couldn't get a pulse in my left arm but they never suggested we should look any further into it. That was the first sign (before I started having symptoms) that something was seriously wrong with me. My right side started to close two years after my stroke but we caught it in time (they were 80-90% occluded when we caught it) and I had stents through an angiogram. It was just after that that I was diagnosed with SVT, my heart was beating over 250 beats per minute when they caught it. It's not related to the TA.
Then on my 40th birthday when I was in New York my right knee, left ankle and middle toe were so swollen and painful. When we got home I went to my rheumatologist who did an HLA B27 blood test and I was positive. HLA B27 (http://www.chlamydiae.com/restricted/docs/infections/arthritis_pathogenesis.asp) is a genetic marker for auto immune diseases and is related to reactive arthritis, I hit the jack pot. Reactive arthritis needs a trigger to start up. A trip to Cozumel two weeks prior was what triggered the reactive arthritis, I got a bad case of salmonella.
I had my first case of UVeitis (http://www.uveitis.org/medical/articles/case/hlab27.html) (inflammation of the inside of your eye) a couple of weeks after my 2nd child was born. It was THE WORST thing I have ever been through in my life. I know that sounds hard to believe with everything else I have been through but I seriously thought I was going to die. It lasted for MONTHS. This was probably my first clue that something serious was going on with me (this was 18 months before my stroke in 1995). I hadn't had a case of UVeitis since that first time when my 2nd child was born until a little over a year ago after my brother died. It wasn't as bad as it was the first time around but it seems to be more persistent and I have been battling it on and off for over a year. It seems to go away for a couple of months only to come back again and again. Currently my reactive arthritis is back but it's in my neck instead of my knee/ankle. I've had it in my neck/shoulder area before. It seems that since I was diagnosed with it a few years ago that the neck thing comes around a couple of times a year. Lasts for a few weeks then goes away. One day I just wake up and it's gone. I also get a pain in my upper back, rib area on one side that feels like pleurisy only not in my chest. When I get that I can't even roll over in bed. Lucky (knock on wood) I currently don't have that problem.
I bet you are sorry you asked now. :p
-
BEG :heart:
I :heart: you too. :-*
-
I'm not sorry I asked at all, BEG. It sounds like you've been through a lot. I have heard of uveitis before but I never knew what it was. It sounds painful. I hope you get better quickly.
-
Ugh, gag, spit! Just the thought of It "clawing at It's scalp" full of zits, then putting It's hands on food meant to be served to others makes me nauseous!
As with GB, I suppose I should be feeling more compassion for the mentally impaired.
That clawing is the result of head lice as most of us 'normal' folks would realize.
-
if she's quit doublin up on her meds...most of the "problems" would go away....but then she wouldn't get any "attention"....
Funny thing that, looking at her, I thought *I* had doubled up on my meds.
-
So it wants to have an addadictomy but obviously wants the taxpayers to pay.
Yes. I think she has already had her boobs cut off (yes, really!) or was very close to doing it. Her psych Dr. had her all approved and if I remember, hated her mother because mums wouldn't give her the last five grand she needed to finish the job.
I got a strange, strange desire to send her a rusty lid cut from a can of Little Friskies.
-
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Fri Nov-27-09 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #7
I have been clawing the crap out of my skin, my scalp had a few bumps awhile ago now it's a scabby mess.I'm wearing a bandanna to try to give it a chance to heal.
Good fracking lord!
(http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif)
(http://wolfcreekranch1.tripod.com/Images/mpoil.jpg)
-
I just reread what I wrote, I sound a bit angry. :-)
Or extremely drugged....which after reading UGP's manifestos of psychotic perversion would not be that bad of a thing.
-
Good fracking lord!
(http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif) (http://www.peteducation.com/images/articles/Feline-Lice.gif)
(http://wolfcreekranch1.tripod.com/Images/mpoil.jpg)
Anyone consider CRACK as a reason for the itching and scabs.?
On another site some of us were discussing crack and what it does to people. Someone posted tons of pictures of crack addicts with the most horrid body scars.
Anyone ever run into Chiggers, in the south they lay their eggs under the skin and as the eggs hatch they cause itching so intense people have life long scars from the scratching.
Crack is like that, the addict will feeling a crawling sensation on their skin and dig holes into their body to make it stop.
With all the hair dying I some what doubt that the problem is head lice. Most hair dye has ammonia in it and will kill off the lice and their eggs.
For those who remember the hippies in the early 1970's they started the fad of dying their Bush to kill crabs. This became a fad so people would not look 2 toned when naked.
I would guess in the last few years the shaving of the Bush may be related.
I am intrigued with the mother, how the heck old is she, looks like a woman rode hard and put away wet once to often.
This woman is just part of the Kaleidoscope of human life that we do not in counter at a regular time unless one lives in Florida or California.
What was the name of the program that started out, "The City has a Million People with a Million Story's this is just one of them.?'
Lesson in life folks, BEWARE of making too many judgements of others, some day you may find a family member is having the same problems as those you laughted at or abhor. The sins of those you love may in fact knock at your door, Surprise, Grandma had an abortion.
.
-
That clawing is the result of head lice as most of us 'normal' folks would realize.
Mange, I can believe. But a louse is a living, breathing being. How could it survive?
-
undergroundpanther (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 12:04 AM
Original message
I think I'm a relapsing.****.
I have been feeling bad.Overwhelmed,I think I messed up my budget too.I am really short.I got maybe 10 bucks.I am losing time,and the nightmares are getting so bad I was scared to sleep alone last night.
I feel really out of it.I feel very alien and alone.I am getting dissociative headaches all the time.
I dread the holidaze.I feel abandoned my birthday was hard.I feel suicidal alot and I hear sounds and snippets of conversations.I dunno what to do.I feel this terrible dread,this anger and sadness,I cry and I feel have no one.I feel the future before me is hell.I feel like I am just waiting here in this lifeless house to die.I can't feel joy,it is dead.I wake up sweating heart pounding.Spontaniously I get the physical symptoms of panic without the emotions there.
One nightmare I had this weekend was of being thrown in a room . I was thrown in there so hard I hit the floor and was knocked out(in the dream). As I came too I saw the room it had steel walls and a round door kind of like a bank vault.
I tried to breathe,to yell for help, but I couldn't inhale. I dunno if the air had been taken out of the room or my lungs didn't work.It was terrifying.
I did one small "fix", but, damn, this is just ****ed up. :thatsright:
-
I just reread what I wrote, I sound a bit angry. :-)
Yes, but it's an anger that's entirely warranted and controlled enough for you to write an excellent post. Uncontrollable rage is no good, but anger can be a muse.
-
I just reread what I wrote, I sound a bit angry. :-)
Going through all that I would expect anyone to get angry. The difference is that you're dealing with it and not blaming the rest of the world for your problems.
-
Going through all that I would expect anyone to get angry. The difference is that you're dealing with it and not blaming the rest of the world for your problems.
Seconded, BEG! :clap: :clap: