The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Alpha Mare on October 28, 2009, 08:55:21 AM

Title: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Alpha Mare on October 28, 2009, 08:55:21 AM: :rotf:

Quote
Conway - Conway Police Department investigators are tracking down leads in the theft of two 53-foot shipping containers belonging to Kimberly Clark, according to Conway Chief of Police A. J. Gary, and â€œit will be very interesting when they get to the bottom of it.â€

Inside the containers, according to the report, were 9,064 cases of Kotex- and Poise-brand feminine hygiene products of every description, 152 cases of Huggies Soft Skin baby wash and 380 cases of baby wipes â€” each case containing 10 to 20 individual consumer packages. The total value of the containers and their contents is listed in the report at over $474,000.

http://www.katv.com/news/stories/1009/672569.html
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:21:55 AM: Thief exclaims, "What the bloody hell is this!"
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: bijou on October 28, 2009, 09:26:01 AM: Moving to the Lounge, I'm sure the punsters will be along soon. :-)
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:32:26 AM: Are we sure that Kimberly Clark isn't padding the total estimated cost? I mean this thing is riding on just a string, yunno?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:34:12 AM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:32:26 AM
Are we sure that Kimberly Clark isn't padding the total estimated cost? I mean this thing is riding on just a string, yunno?

The hole thing is just a cover.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:35:38 AM: Yeah, but who leaked the story?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:40:45 AM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:35:38 AM
Yeah, but who leaked the story?

It started with some woman about a month ago.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:48:01 AM: Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:40:45 AM
It started with some woman about a month ago.

Yeah, and she put a serious cramp in Kimberly Clark's style.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:53:27 AM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:48:01 AM
Yeah, and she put a serious cramp in Kimberly Clark's style.

But only for 5 to 7 days.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: NHSparky on October 28, 2009, 10:14:25 AM: Ya gotta love the one and only comment on the story:

"Something smells fishy here..."
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: jinxmchue on October 28, 2009, 10:15:36 AM: I don't mean to rag on anyone, but these jokes are really bad. Plug it up, guys.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: thundley4 on October 28, 2009, 10:23:28 AM: Quote from: jinxmchue on October 28, 2009, 10:15:36 AM
I don't mean to rag on anyone, but these jokes are really bad. Plug it up, guys.

This story doesn't have legs, it has wings. Lighten up and go with the flow.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2009, 10:25:41 AM: Shipping containers or box cars?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 10:40:52 AM: Quote from: thundley4 on October 28, 2009, 10:23:28 AM
This story doesn't have legs, it has wings. Lighten up and go with the flow.

Light days or heavy days?

This whole thread is for panty-waists. :whatever:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 10:43:23 AM: Quote from: lug-nut on October 28, 2009, 10:25:41 AM
Shipping containers or box cars?

:rotf:
I don't care who you are, that right there is funnier than belly bloat.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 01:08:46 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 10:43:23 AM
:rotf:
I don't care who you are, that right there is funnier than belly bloat.

Please dear Lord, PROTECT me from punning about Feminine products. That just ain't right.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:24:30 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 01:08:46 PM
Please dear Lord, PROTECT me from punning about Feminine products. That just ain't right.

Is PMS off limits, too? :fuelfire:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:43:01 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:24:30 PM
Is PMS off limits, too? :fuelfire:

I am in toxic shock that you would suggest such a thing..... :tongue:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:48:25 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:43:01 PM
I am in toxic shock that you would suggest such a thing..... :tongue:

Well, uh....doesn't "changing them out" sorta help the toxic shock thing? :uhsure:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:52:05 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:48:25 PM
Well, uh....doesn't "changing them out" sorta help the toxic shock thing? :uhsure:

Why don'tcha ask Aunt Flo?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:59:02 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:52:05 PM
Why don'tcha ask Aunt Flo?

She's well beyond menopause, actually. Plus, she had a hystericalectomy as a birthday gift when she turned 45.

I remember her beaming with pride afterwards - something about "there are no more strings in my life."

I couldn't quite figure that last one out......
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 03:19:17 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:59:02 PM
She's well beyond menopause, actually. Plus, she had a hystericalectomy as a birthday gift when she turned 45.

I remember her beaming with pride afterwards - something about "there are no more strings in my life."

I couldn't quite figure that last one out......

She's just stringing you along.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 03:33:10 PM: Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 03:19:17 PM
She's just stringing you along.

I do not believe that any of you menfolk are an expert in this subject matter. Period.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 03:58:18 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 03:33:10 PM
I do not believe that any of you menfolk are an expert in this subject matter. Period.

When you're on the receiving end of a PMS blast, and it happens quite repeatedly over many years, may I calmly suggest that even men can become experts?

It's kinda like guys who work with dynamite. They learn to handle that stuff very, very carefully.

I want EVERYONE to know that I have - on many occasions - gone to the store to buy feminine products. As I proudly stand in line with my box of Kotex or Massengill douche powder, I think of how much I love my spouse. :evillaugh: :innocent:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 04:05:28 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 03:58:18 PM
It's kinda like guys who work with dynamite. They learn to handle that stuff very, very carefully.

HAHAHAHA!

Now....Plug it! :innocent:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 04:08:43 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 04:05:28 PM
HAHAHAHA!

Now....Plug it! :innocent:

I've lost my touch since Mrs E no longer has that "problem". Better call in the bomb squad, IFT!
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 04:10:44 PM: I can't remember when this much spotting was going on. Jeez, lots of product being used! Think we'll make a dent in that $0.5 million?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 04:16:32 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 03:58:18 PM
When you're on the receiving end of a PMS blast, and it happens quite repeatedly over many years, may I calmly suggest that even men can become experts?

It's kinda like guys who work with dynamite. They learn to handle that stuff very, very carefully.

I want EVERYONE to know that I have - on many occasions - gone to the store to buy feminine products. As I proudly stand in line with my box of Kotex or Massengill douche powder, I think of how much I love my spouse. :evillaugh: :innocent:

I too had become an expert in extreme PMS before the experts put the term PMS on it.

...and the best way to kick it off to a good start, "Is it that time again already?"
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 04:27:31 PM: Mine was, "Can I get you a Midol, dear?"
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Randy on October 28, 2009, 04:43:52 PM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 03:33:10 PM
I do not believe that any of you menfolk are an expert in this subject matter. Period.

Now just who lit your fuse Missy?

:rotf:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 04:47:07 PM: I think her "period" in her last post had something to do with it.

Hey, IassaFTots, you need a rag to wipe that up with?

I'm all out of panty liners! :rotf:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: jinxmchue on October 28, 2009, 05:22:10 PM: If anyone is wondering if we'll keep continuing making these really awful puns, my answer is "always."
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: The Village Idiot on October 28, 2009, 07:47:39 PM: Probably on their way to a third world country as we sit here and absorb this story.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 08:23:30 PM: Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 04:47:07 PM
I think her "period" in her last post had something to do with it.

Hey, IassaFTots, you need a rag to wipe that up with?

I'm all out of panty liners! :rotf:

Hey Menstrual Man (phonetic please) why don'tcha pad on outta here!!!

:rotf:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: debk on October 28, 2009, 08:59:28 PM: Y'all are super absorb-ed in this long length ~~string~~ thread.....
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2009, 09:35:11 PM: Quote from: jinxmchue on October 28, 2009, 05:22:10 PM
If anyone is wondering if we'll keep continuing making these really awful puns, my answer is "always."
Some of us will just have to wing it.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: The Village Idiot on October 28, 2009, 09:48:33 PM: The puns are horrible, now back to the pad
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2009, 09:51:08 PM: Quote from: FGL on October 28, 2009, 09:48:33 PM
The puns are horrible, now back to the pad
Oh, now Shirley we can squeeze in a few more.
:lmao:
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: debk on October 28, 2009, 11:06:33 PM: Quote from: FGL on October 28, 2009, 09:48:33 PM
The puns are horrible, now back to the pad

Why use a pad when a one liner is sufficient?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 29, 2009, 07:51:05 AM: Quote from: lug-nut on October 28, 2009, 09:51:08 PM
Oh, now Shirley we can squeeze in a few more.
:lmao:

I am sure they will cycle back around....
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: The Village Idiot on October 29, 2009, 08:23:16 AM: Quote from: IassaFTots on October 29, 2009, 07:51:05 AM
I am sure they will cycle back around....

This is getting irritating, you guys are being rash... period end of discussion,.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: thundley4 on October 29, 2009, 08:59:03 AM: Quote from: FGL on October 29, 2009, 08:23:16 AM
This is getting irritating, you guys are being rash... period end of discussion,.

You're just itching to have the last word, aren't you?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 29, 2009, 09:07:59 AM: This is just a-nether silly thread, full of sensitivity and bodily fluids.

Just who the hell was Kimberly Clark, anyway?!?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: debk on October 29, 2009, 09:30:36 AM: Quote from: Eupher on October 29, 2009, 09:07:59 AM
This is just a-nether silly thread, full of sensitivity and bodily fluids.

Just who the hell was Kimberly Clark, anyway?!?

Kimberly had a thing for soft and quilted....
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: IassaFTots on October 29, 2009, 09:32:06 AM: Quote from: debk on October 29, 2009, 09:30:36 AM
Kimberly had a thing for soft and quilted....

Yeah, but she lacks Charmin...
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Chris_ on October 29, 2009, 09:32:57 AM: I wish this thread would give the men a pause.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Eupher on October 29, 2009, 09:58:23 AM: Quote from: SherryBaby on October 29, 2009, 09:32:57 AM
I wish this thread would give the men a pause.

Well, I paused once and it cost me the cost of a hystericalectomy and a tube-tyin'.

I figured that's enough.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 29, 2009, 11:21:34 AM: Quote from: SherryBaby on October 29, 2009, 09:32:57 AM
I wish this thread would give the men a pause.

A red flag.....for trash maybe?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: vesta111 on October 30, 2009, 04:37:31 AM: Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 29, 2009, 11:21:34 AM
A red flag.....for trash maybe?

Just don't take your woman camping, hiking , or bird watching in the woods if she has need for that product.

Question, why is it when a woman no longer needs these products their men suddenly seem to get PMS all year round.?
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Jar Head on October 30, 2009, 07:40:37 AM: Selling the goods may just take the thief from "Rags to Riches".
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Chris_ on October 30, 2009, 07:42:42 AM: Quote
$500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen

That's about a 2 day supply for Hillary, ain't it?
:-)
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: thundley4 on October 30, 2009, 07:49:58 AM: Quote from: lug-nut on October 30, 2009, 07:42:42 AM

That's about a 2 day supply for Hillary, ain't it?
:-)

Less than that since she has to share them with 0Bama.
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: Randy on October 30, 2009, 07:23:18 PM: Quote from: thundley4 on October 30, 2009, 07:49:58 AM
Less than that since she has to share them with 0Bama.

Barry or Shelly? :-)
Title: Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
Post by: The Village Idiot on October 30, 2009, 07:47:12 PM: Quote from: Randy on October 30, 2009, 07:23:18 PM
Barry or Shelly? :-)

I am sure its both somehow. But its for his ears