The Conservative Cave

The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: 5412 on September 29, 2009, 12:29:51 PM

Title: The Beer Theory
Post by: 5412 on September 29, 2009, 12:29:51 PM

The smartest thing the Cliff Clavin character ever said in the comedy series Cheers was when explaining the buffalo theory to his buddy Norm.  It went something like this....."Well ya see Norm, it's like this:  a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  So when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the killing of the weakest members. 

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells.  But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine...."

Title: Re: The Beer Theory
Post by: Wayne on September 29, 2009, 12:59:14 PM

    Now there is a logic I can get behind.. :beer:

Title: Re: The Beer Theory
Post by: Rick on September 29, 2009, 01:59:28 PM

We may just have to do a study on this. It may just take a couple of years.

Title: Re: The Beer Theory
Post by: NHSparky on September 29, 2009, 02:00:12 PM

Quote from: Ranger Rick on September 29, 2009, 01:59:28 PM

We may just have to do a study on this. It may just take a couple of years.

I've been working on it for over 20.  My mind is just as sharp as....ooooh, shiny!

Title: Re: The Beer Theory
Post by: Rick on September 29, 2009, 03:56:48 PM

We are going need Federal funding.

Title: Re: The Beer Theory
Post by: NHSparky on September 29, 2009, 04:04:04 PM

Quote from: Ranger Rick on September 29, 2009, 03:56:48 PM

We are going need Federal funding.

Working on the paperwork as we speak.