The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: mamacags on September 21, 2009, 03:18:41 PM
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Would you leave your spouse if they were addicted to porn? Not "normal" porn watching but sitting in front of the TV for hours every day and then surfing porn on the internet long into the night. Not just owning one or two good porn movies but spending several hundred dollars a month buying porn. A friend asked me if I thought she should leave. I am so not rational (I would just shoot my hubby if he did shit like that) about things like that so I thought I would do a poll on here.
Where the hell is the poll thing to click? Until I figure it out just say yes or no.
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I'd have to go with no, since being the principal breadwinner in a long, long marriage means I'd get completely ass-raped in the divorce, I'd be better off sticking around to do damage control on the finances.
The 'Spending several hundred dollaras a month' part is total irredeemable disaster in the making, if I was in a different stage of my life or not the major earner in the household, I'd be punching out faster than an F-18 pilot having a very bad day on short final to the carrier.
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I'd have to go with no, since being the principal breadwinner in a long, long marriage means I'd get completely ass-raped in the divorce, I'd be better off sticking around to do damage control on the finances.
The 'Spending several hundred dollaras a month' part is total irredeemable disaster in the making, if I was in a different stage of my life or not the major earner in the household, I'd be punching out faster than an F-18 pilot having a very bad day on short final to the carrier.
LMAO that is why I can pretty much get away with what ever I want. :tongue:
I say yes I would and I would take all of his money along with me. :-)
Oops I think I voted for No instead of yes.
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WTH is "normal porn?"
I confess, that one escapes me completely. :p
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WTH is "normal porn?"
I confess, that one escapes me completely. :p
Things not involving furry outfits, midgets, canned corn and electrical outlets or car exhausts.
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Things not involving furry outfits, midgets, canned corn and electrical outlets or car exhausts.
You mean gerbils constitute normal porn? :hyper: :-)
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You mean gerbils constitute normal porn? :hyper: :-)
Go nutz ole man! :rofl:
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You mean gerbils constitute normal porn? :hyper: :-)
Well, he said furry outfits, not furry objects.....der! :tongue:
I would have to say the issue isn't all about porn, but if he is looking at porn on tv for HOURS, and surfing the internets all night for it too, he probably isn't doing anything else, and that is more of an issue. If the money he is spending, is money he earned, then no foul, as long as it is not allocated to a household need. I dunno. I would say it is more about the time than the money, or the fact that it is porn.
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Well, he said furry outfits, not furry objects.....der! :tongue:
I would have to say the issue isn't all about porn, but if he is looking at porn on tv for HOURS, and surfing the internets all night for it too, he probably isn't doing anything else, and that is more of an issue. If the money he is spending, is money he earned, then no foul, as long as it is not allocated to a household need. I dunno. I would say it is more about the time than the money, or the fact that it is porn.
Bingo
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Normal porn= Look I know guys like looking at boobz and stuff. Here and there it is fine as long as it isn't some sick twisted stuff that only gets produced in Thailand or Tiajuana.
This guy works full time and does earn most of the household money. There doesn't usually seem to be enough for everyone else to get stuff they want but porn is always a reasonable purchase according to him. He also isn't making nice-nice :naughty: with his wife anymore. He thinks she is being unreasonable about it. He said that porn makes him happy so she shouldn't care.
Stuff like this makes me ever so thankful that my hubby works 80+ hours a week and has like 4 hours of online time in his life.
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Who buys porn? Anyone still paying for that stuff is a sucker. I think excessive video game playing is just as detrimental than spending massive amounts of time and money online looking for ladyboys and Japanese poo fetish, but that's just because my parents wouldn't buy me that Atari I wanted when I was a child.
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Mamacags, no one can tell you whether you should or shouldn't leave your husband...it's really up to you...
:bolt:
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There is no way I would ever leave my wife.
1) As stated by Tex, all my stuff is her stuff, and all her stuff is her stuff.
2) I can barely stand the emotional relationship I am in now- no way in hell am I starting another.
3) With any luck, I'll be dead in five years. Anyone can do five years in Pergatory...Anyone.
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Mamacags, no one can tell you whether you should or shouldn't leave your husband...it's really up to you...
:bolt:
That is why I hesitated to post this. I swear on all that is holy and good that it is NOT me and my hubby. Since I am not a widow arrested for murder.
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Porn is a crashing bore and so is anyone who is so weak of will and so diseased in the mind that they can become "addicted" to it. You are well within your relationship rights to leave today, mamaC. Be sure to write when you get where you are going.
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Normal porn= Look I know guys like looking at boobz and stuff. Here and there it is fine as long as it isn't some sick twisted stuff that only gets produced in Thailand or Tiajuana.
This guy works full time and does earn most of the household money. There doesn't usually seem to be enough for everyone else to get stuff they want but porn is always a reasonable purchase according to him. He also isn't making nice-nice :naughty: with his wife anymore. He thinks she is being unreasonable about it. He said that porn makes him happy so she shouldn't care.
Stuff like this makes me ever so thankful that my hubby works 80+ hours a week and has like 4 hours of online time in his life.
Uh? Yeah........Replacing your wife with porn =you have a serious problem!
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http://www.covenanteyes.com/
http://www1.k9webprotection.com/
http://www.newlife.com/
http://www.everymansbattle.com/
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
[youtube=425,350]n_hVT6gomzA[/youtube]
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Looks like I'm going to hell then Jinx.
I notice when an attractive woman in in the area.
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Was that Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains?
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Was that Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains?
Yes.
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Looks like I'm going to hell then Jinx.
I notice when an attractive woman in in the area.
Who said anything about simply noticing the attractiveness of women? I've noticed the attractiveness of CC ladies. God made women to be attractive to men and there is nothing wrong with appreciating that fact. It's lust that is the problem.
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Who said anything about simply noticing the attractiveness of women? I've noticed the attractiveness of CC ladies. God made women to be attractive to men and there is nothing wrong with appreciating that fact. It's lust that is the problem.
Ahhhh... But what qualifies as lust?
Just thinking, hmmm... I wouldn't mind a piece of that, or taking actual steps to get a piece of it?
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Ahhhh... But what qualifies as lust?
Just thinking, hmmm... I wouldn't mind a piece of that, or taking actual steps to get a piece of it?
Both would qualify. Are you admitting to thinking that whenever you see an attractive woman?
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Both would qualify. Are you admitting to thinking that whenever you see an attractive woman?
Nope... Just asking. Have such thoughts ever crossed my mind? Sure have. Especially when I was a lot younger.
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So, would looking at a cartoon also be considered deviant? :evillaugh:
(http://i37.tinypic.com/2e0tttd.jpg)
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Porn is a crashing bore and so is anyone who is so weak of will and so diseased in the mind that they can become "addicted" to it. You are well within your relationship rights to leave today, mamaC. Be sure to write when you get where you are going.
You suck Undies! :bird: Now I am going to go have sex with hubby, film it, and show it here to prove that it isn't me! :thatsright: The person in this scenerio is a member here and I would never ever ever reveal who it is because of the potential blow back from just having this thread.
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Normal porn= Look I know guys like looking at boobz and stuff. Here and there it is fine as long as it isn't some sick twisted stuff that only gets produced in Thailand or Tiajuana.
This guy works full time and does earn most of the household money. There doesn't usually seem to be enough for everyone else to get stuff they want but porn is always a reasonable purchase according to him. He also isn't making nice-nice :naughty: with his wife anymore. He thinks she is being unreasonable about it. He said that porn makes him happy so she shouldn't care.
Stuff like this makes me ever so thankful that my hubby works 80+ hours a week and has like 4 hours of online time in his life.
When you don't make 'nice-nice' with your spouse anymore, you are neglecting a very serious portion of the wedding vows and your are neglecting the bond between the two people, not to mention eroding the self-esteem of the woman who is left to feel unattractive and unwanted(no matter how much us gals bitch, we like our men coming after us still to some extent). *IF* this thing goes on for long enough, the marriage is damaged beyond repair, particularly if the party involved in doing the neglecting has moved their morals and values so to a point that they don't even share them with their spouse anymore. Your question really is, what vows constitute a grievous offense that should end a marriage. I would say it's not really just one big offense that can do it, but it can be a series of habitual offenses that erode away the fabric of the marriage. Those too should be considered, especially if the other person has been given considerable chances to change their behavior.
I think this is a totally unacceptable because his porn watching has reached the point where he is neglecting his spouse and her needs in the marriage. If he continues this, he will damage his marriage forever; his wife is already asking for advice about this which tells me she is already coming to the end of her rope. When she no longer has feelings for him anymore, then it's over. Physical affairs aren't the only things that can damage marriages to that point and they aren't the only marriage enders.
As for your friend, she deserves to be loved like a wife should be. I find neglecting a spouse over a long period of time to be unacceptable and it sounds like she does too.
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The person in this scenerio is a member here and I would never ever ever reveal who it is because of the potential blow back from just having this thread.
:o
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Nope... Just asking. Have such thoughts ever crossed my mind? Sure have. Especially when I was a lot younger.
I'm still learning to control such thoughts. I unfortunately spent a large portion of my life under the belief that such thoughts were perfectly normal and not harmful.
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I'm still learning to control such thoughts. I unfortunately spent a large portion of my life under the belief that such thoughts were perfectly normal and not harmful.
I'd be lying if I said such thoughts don't still cross my mind on occassion. I am after all a human male.
But I don't act on the thoughts. I acknowledge them for what they are, a base reaction of a primal nature and go on about my life.
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You suck Undies! :bird: Now I am going to go have sex with hubby, film it, and show it here to prove that it isn't me! :thatsright: The person in this scenerio is a member here and I would never ever ever reveal who it is because of the potential blow back from just having this thread.
Mama you should NOT have to suffer public humiliation or discomfort just to prove a point!! Just send the recordings to me and I'll email you a slight disclaimer that you should sign allowing me to "View" them (It's just a formality really and just ignore where it talks about you forgoing any expectation of profit from resulting sales or publication) Anyway...
Once THAT little thing is taken care of, I'll personally screen the videos 7 or 8 times and then reassure everybody here that everything is on the up and up.
:thumbs:
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Mama you should NOT have to suffer public humiliation or discomfort just to prove a point!! Just send the recordings to me and I'll email you a slight disclaimer that you should sign allowing me to "View" them (It's just a formality really and just ignore where it talks about you forgoing any expectation of profit from resulting sales or publication) Anyway...
Once THAT little thing is taken care of, I'll personally screen the videos 7 or 8 times and then reassure everybody here that everything is on the up and up.
:thumbs:
I like the way you think.
LOL.
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You suck Undies! :bird:
That looks and sounds like porn to me. :tongue:
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Mama you should NOT have to suffer public humiliation or discomfort just to prove a point!! Just send the recordings to me and I'll email you a slight disclaimer that you should sign allowing me to "View" them (It's just a formality really and just ignore where it talks about you forgoing any expectation of profit from resulting sales or publication) Anyway...
Once THAT little thing is taken care of, I'll personally screen the videos 7 or 8 times and then reassure everybody here that everything is on the up and up.
:thumbs:
You OBVIOUSLY have no idea how fat I am. :-) Then again some guys are into that stuff I guess. You know that picture that everyone posts of those girls in the bikinis and it says they are girls from DU? Well I am not THAT fat but close to the least fat one on there. Now imagine that for a little while before you try to go to sleep tonight.
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That looks and sounds like porn to me. :tongue:
No wonder you had a damn heart attack perv! :thatsright: :tongue:
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[youtube=425,350]GzsWuqNlLK4[/youtube]
:naughty: :cheersmate: :lmao:
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Tough question...
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So, would looking at a cartoon also be considered deviant? :evillaugh:
(http://i37.tinypic.com/2e0tttd.jpg)
:sheshot: :bravo: :yeahthat: :old: I'd hit that 7x :cheersmate: .... :uhsure: :-)
Edit: On second thought, isn't that a disturbingly large forehead... argh :thatsright:
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:sheshot: :bravo: :yeahthat: :old: I'd hit that 7x :cheersmate: .... :uhsure: :-)
Edit: On second thought, isn't that a disturbingly large forehead... argh :thatsright:
Kinda reminds ya of MO
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In all seriousness though, while I won't comment on whether one should leave, as that has to be a personal issue. If a grown man is spending countless hours, daily, viewing porn. When he has a family to raise and take care of, as well as hopefully an actual life. As well as having lost interest in his wife... there is a seriously disturbing problem at hand. Whether it's depression, infidelity, or apathy... something is drastically amiss. :(
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I voted no because it will be a cold day in hell before I leave my home for something I didn't do. I've been married a long time. I've EARNED my place.
Mr. Nasty can leave and forget he ever lived here. For real. Oh and he can also leave everything he bought too because that would belong to me now. :-)
The disrespect is what would bother me most I think. If my husband looked at porn while I was away from the house or when I was asleep, oh well, but not in my face. And not with our money. Because it is OUR money. I would never disrespect my husband in that way and I expect the same in return.
Men are such deviant creatures sometimes. The bad ones we women can do without.
I know your lady friend is hurting, she already knew her answer before she told you the problem. I wish her luck, tell her to be brave, never settle for less. Life is too short.
P.S. Chocolate ice cream makes me happy but I don't constantly eat it.
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I voted no because it will be a cold day in hell before I leave my home for something I didn't do. I've been married a long time. I've EARNED my place.
Mr. Nasty can leave and forget he ever lived here. For real. Oh and he can also leave everything he bought too because that would belong to me now. :-)
The disrespect is what would bother me most I think. If my husband looked at porn while I was away from the house or when I was asleep, oh well, but not in my face. And not with our money. Because it is OUR money. I would never disrespect my husband in that way and I expect the same in return.
Men are such deviant creatures sometimes. The bad ones we women can do without.
I know your lady friend is hurting, she already knew her answer before she told you the problem. I wish her luck, tell her to be brave, never settle for less. Life is too short.
P.S. Chocolate ice cream makes me happy but I don't constantly eat it.
This may not be a good sign for your friend. I hope they have no children.
Like drug addiction this guy may decide to " Kick it up a notch" and looking replaced with actual doing with or with out the consent of others.
This is not just having a subscription to Play Boy and keeping them in the bathroom stuff, or even having a girlfriend on the side, this, as described, is creepy stuff.
This friend must be becoming afraid of what is happening to her husband, what he is thinking and perhaps doing.
Were any of my friends to tell me about this problem, I would take it as a cry out for help.
A very ugly thought comes to mind at this point, in the last few years we have read about woman who go along with their husbands committing unthinkable sex crimes to their own children and kidnap victims. Why on earth would they do so, are they not just as guilty as their husband in all this ? Why have the men become imprisoned for their crimes and the woman who enabled these horrific crimes given sympathy and seldom judged.?
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The disrespect is what would bother me most I think. If my husband looked at porn while I was away from the house or when I was asleep, oh well, but not in my face. And not with our money. Because it is OUR money. I would never disrespect my husband in that way and I expect the same in return.
Exactly!
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If she's uncomfortable with the amount of porn he's viewing, and he refuses to change, then I'd say she has her answer. If she's told him it bothers her, and he doesn't care, then she has a choice to make, because he's chosing the porn over her.
That being said, aren't there AA type places for people who are addicted to porn? Might be a suggestion for her/him.
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If she's uncomfortable with the amount of porn he's viewing, and he refuses to change, then I'd say she has her answer. If she's told him it bothers her, and he doesn't care, then she has a choice to make, because he's chosing the porn over her.
That being said, aren't there AA type places for people who are addicted to porn? Might be a suggestion for her/him.
He doesn't see it as a problem at all.
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He doesn't see it as a problem at all.
Well then, the ball seems to be in her court. Pretty sucky situation, but only she can decide what she is willing to deal with.
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Your friend should start going to the gym, contemplate breast implants, and add more clothing from Victoria's Secret to her wardrobe. The more white stockings the better.
...oh, wait, that's the asshole male coming out in me. :-)
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I can't respond to a poll that doesn't include the option of blaming the Jews.
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I can't respond to a poll that doesn't include the option of blaming the Jews.
I think that's the Ron Paul option.
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I think that's the Ron Paul option.
That nutbag is a goldbug, not a Goldberg.
The problem with porn is the Jooos.
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I wouldn't leave over it but there does come a point that something has to give. It's not the porn its the waste of time going to watching it and not spending time doing anything else that should be the reason to leave.
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Your friend should start going to the gym, contemplate breast implants, and add more clothing from Victoria's Secret to her wardrobe. The more white stockings the better.
...oh, wait, that's the asshole male coming out in me. :-)
:-)
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An addiction is an addiction regardless of what it is. Anything that takes away quality time from the spouse/family/obligations is an addiction. Anything that one chooses over everything else and doesn't see that as a problem is an addiction.
That does not mean that leaving is the answer though. Simply put, this is an issue that needs to be addressed in marriage counseling. If she feels it's a problem and he doesn't but it's coming between them, clearly it IS a problem.
My advice would be to try and talk it out and get a third party (professional counselor) involved. If he won't go, then she can certainly go on her own to learn how to cope and to get advice on what steps she should take from here.
No matter what course of action she takes, it must done carefully and with planning. At minimum, I would get myself to a counselor just to talk it out. There is always something deeper in situations like this. That is not a dig, but the truth.
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An addiction is an addiction regardless of what it is. Anything that takes away quality time from the spouse/family/obligations is an addiction. Anything that one chooses over everything else and doesn't see that as a problem is an addiction.
That does not mean that leaving is the answer though. Simply put, this is an issue that needs to be addressed in marriage counseling. If she feels it's a problem and he doesn't but it's coming between them, clearly it IS a problem.
My advice would be to try and talk it out and get a third party (professional counselor) involved. If he won't go, then she can certainly go on her own to learn how to cope and to get advice on what steps she should take from here.
No matter what course of action she takes, it must done carefully and with planning. At minimum, I would get myself to a counselor just to talk it out. There is always something deeper in situations like this. That is not a dig, but the truth.
I'm going to agree with DixieBelle here. I'd say counseling would definitely be a step before divorce. Hopefully, he will recognize that the fact that she is so upset by it is enough of a issue to go to counseling together even if he doesn't see the porn as a reason.
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Well, all I know is that immediately before that guy got addicted to the porn site, every Jew that was online logged out.
Looks awfully suspicious to me, but you can take that for what it's worth.
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Hopefully they can work things out, but it does sound like the guy has a problem.
If I was married or going out with a girl that was into porn, it would be a matter of if it made her really hot, wild & wanting to try new things in bed....if not, then her shit would hit the curb.
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Hopefully they can work things out, but it does sound like the guy has a problem.
If I was married or going out with a girl that was into pron, it would be a matter of if it made her really hot, wild & wanting to try new things in bed....if not, then her shit would hit the curb.
:heart: You hopeless romantic you!