The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: 5412 on August 22, 2009, 10:00:48 AM
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Find some humor in the world situation!
Subject: Logic of U S Stimulus Package Escapes Me
might not be all bad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day
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:rotf: Perfect I love it
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Beer not so much, since Anheiser Busch is now owned by foreigners as well.
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Beer not so much, since Anheiser Busch is now owned by foreigners as well.
I just can't do anything right for crying out loud. Now I find out I am drinking imported beer. Darn it all.
Tattooing is interesting, to get [ face] permemit make up that costs less then $1,000 is by unlicensed Asian woman. Now that is risky to get eye liner , but it looks great on others.
I love college ice hockey and basketball, can't afford the pro games.
Now for the fun part the Hookers, as a dyed in the wool people watcher the Casinos are the place to watch the adult action. It's like playing cops and robbers, we find a good seat get a cold beer and try to place who's looking, who's selling. Once we get the seller in view then we have to find the pimp. After we get tired of that we try to spot the plain clothed security guards.
Its a fun game I play with a few girlfriends but dangerous, We know those places are bugged and camered better that any government war room.
Oops off topic sorry. Any one interested in how the game is set up let me know, it is much more fun then the slots.
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Porn
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Buy a gun. They still make THOSE in the US I trust.
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Buy a gun. They still make THOSE in the US I trust.
Mine's made in Croatia.
Then I have my ChiCom AK-clone (Norinco).
Ahh well, at least I can fall back on my old, reliable Springfield/Savage shotgun, made in the CommieWeath of Massa-two-shits; in 1969.
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Okay, that's funny right there!!!! :rofl: I'm totally sending that to everyone.......