The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on August 14, 2009, 05:16:46 AM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6301646
Oh my.
Locut0s (538 posts) Fri Aug-14-09 02:44 AM
Original message
Anyone here come from extended families where money has ****ed things up?
My father and one brother are solid middle class and left wing. His other two brothers are upper middle to upper class and solid right wing. Over the years relations between the two sides have degraded to the point where it's just a game of showing off for those who have money. Money now equates with love, devotion, you name it.
His two rich uncles tried to corner us a while back with a deal to help their ailing parents. Essentially it came down to "our plan is to put them in an upscale home. We split this 4 ways between the brothers. If you can't come up with the $500 a month then you don't love your parents as much as we do. Step up to the plate and do your family duty". One brother sent an angry letter saying as much in other words.
In the end we brought my grandparents over here (cross country) and arranged facilities that they could afford using their own savings. The two sets of brothers don't talk to each other much any more.
Igiveupcanttakeit (2 posts) Fri Aug-14-09 03:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. yes
When my mother was given less than a month to live my 2 bothers were more concerned over what little money she had than spending time with her. They flew into town to see her one last time and sat in her front room talking about putting her house up for sale. While she lay in her bed talking to me. We could both clearly hear them. It tore me up and I can not even imagine how it must have hurt her. I will never forgive them for that.
The wired gassy primitive:
grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-14-09 03:20 AM
Response to Original message
2. I know a man who is spending the trust fund his parents...
....thought would be available to their grandchildren. And he's spending it on the children of his third wife (and also on her). The Grandparents built a sizeable estate and thought the grandkids would benefit. Unfortunately, they gave their only son full power over it.
The first wife has supported their handicapped daughter for twenty years on her own. None of the grandchildren were put through college; they have massive debt.
The second wife was totally cut out. The grandparents died during this marriage. Our hero started using the trust fund before the grandmother was dead, but he deliberately did not ever mingle the funds with household funds so that the second wife would not get a penny of it, cuz he knew he was going to divorce her and marry her best friend. And he did. And wife two got a lawyer but no money.
Wife three, the best friend of wife two, is now living with our hero and her two kids, wanting for nothing. He refused to give jos own children a copy of the trust papers.
Meanwhile, our hero's children and grandchildren do not have any benefit of the estate. What a putz he is. And he expects everyone to kowtow to him. Putz.
TheKentuckian (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-14-09 04:30 AM
Response to Original message
4. Hell yeah. I've got a conniving sister, had a shady step grandmother, and a crew of shyster cousins. Between that lot I've got exactly jackapple shit passed down to me. It hurts much more than it creates anger for me. I feel cut off from my fore bearers when I know they wanted me to have a part of what they had to pass on but wasn't of age. It's not so much the property and whatnot but even the personal things and tools.
Not the same thing or purely about money but that pain from being disenfranchised or whatever is very present for me. I forgave, I moved on but it would be very dishonest to say that it doesn't continue to hurt as time passes, probably more than when the incidents went down.
Having even some old quilts and pictures means something. All I have and likely every will have from my family are the faded child's memories.
Greed is a no good mother****er.
murielm99 (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-14-09 05:31 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I am so sorry.
My brother-in-law spent the last five years or so of my mother-in-law's life poisoning her mind against us. We got the short end of the estate. He ended up set for life. His kids got all sorts of money for college. Mine got nothing.
I have wanted my husband to see someone for counseling. I thought it left him depressed. His family basically told him he was not worth much. It hurt him deeply.
We were not totally left out, but the snub was very real.
My parents are still living. I don't think my brothers are greedy. But just in case, I hope my parents spend every last dime on themselves. You are one hundred percent correct about greed.
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Oh, bother.
We all know how primitives are about getting themselves into financial messes when left on their own, and someone else gets the expense of cleaning it up. What do you want to bet they were cut out of wills due to the fact that they had already spent their inheiritances being bailed out.
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Oh, bother.
We all know how primitives are about getting themselves into financial messes when left on their own, and someone else gets the expense of cleaning it up. What do you want to bet they were cut out of wills due to the fact that they had already spent their inheiritances being bailed out.
DUmmies get upset when they are out DUmmied by another DUmmie.....or one of the "good" people have good fortune.
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You know, this is where they truly aren't grown ups. The first guy/girl I commend for taking the parents in where their savings could afford, but if they were able to move them cross country and set them up then it really makes you wonder as to the credibility of the story of those other two brothers since I have a hard time seeing someone who was so set on putting ma in an upscale home all of a sudden ditching that to allow the other two siblings to set her up in 'what she can afford', but who knows.
As to the grown up comment, someone has to deal with the arrangements when death is immenent. The dummie sitting by the bed should be grateful her two other siblings sounded ready and willing to handle the difficult part while dealing wiht their own grief. My estranged spouse and his siblings are facing this now since their stepfather is dying of cancer and their mother is progressing in alzheimers. Thankfully, every one of them understand there are things that need to be done to prepare for those inevitable events. It's not cold, it just is what it is. Death, like life, takes preparation, especially if you want your loved ones last wishes carried out as they request.
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Shouldn't all that money be handed over to Uncle Sam and given to the poor anyway?
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grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-14-09 03:20 AM
Response to Original message
2. I know a man who is spending the trust fund his parents...
....thought would be available to their grandchildren.
That post is going to get a big "unrec" from DUmmy William Rivers Pitt!!
It's really enjoyable to hear DUmmies, who condemn "winners in life's lottery" for being materialistic,
express their envious hatred of all their relatives who enjoy more financial comfort than they will ever know.
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I've seen this happen. An irresponsible, liberal sibling keeps getting into trouble (financial/legal) and the responsible sibling or parents bail them out..over...and over again. Then one day the responsible parties say no more. Then the irresponsible member yells, bitches, and cries how they don't love it, that they are mean, or FASCISTS.
I've seen this happen many times.