The Conservative Cave

Current Events => Politics => Topic started by: Chris_ on February 18, 2008, 09:57:36 PM

Title: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Chris_ on February 18, 2008, 09:57:36 PM

Barack Obama has cured my gingivitis.


I went to a Obama rally and my athletes foot went away.


Barack Obama made me feel better about my body image.


Barack Obama gave me hope that I won’t have to pay my mortgage.


I think Barack Obama will shovel my walk after the next snow fall. Yes He Can!!!!!

 
I used to be one of those guys who watched the erectile dysfunction ads on TV; now any I time I need to be aroused I simply play a tape of a Barack Obama speech.

 
I believe that Obama will get me Packer season tickets.


I was going to start savings for my children’s education, but now I know that Barack Obama will take care of it for me.

 
I’m a white male and Barack Obama makes me dance better.


I believe that Barack Obama has stopped me from going bald.


I believe that Barack Obama will stop global warming; and if he doesn’t we’ll enjoy it so much more if he’s President.


He’s made sex better; of course it is sometimes distracting when my wif yells out Barack, Barack, YES WE CAN YES WE CAN!!!!!!



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Title: Re: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Odin's Hand on February 18, 2008, 10:03:55 PM

It's Bush's fault that all those things happen to people in the first place too...

Title: Re: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Chris_ on February 18, 2008, 10:05:59 PM

Quote from: Odin's Hand on February 18, 2008, 10:03:55 PM

It's Bush's fault that all those things happen to people in the first place too...

Bush caused my dandruff.  :bird:

If I vote for Obama, the government will provide me with a lush head of hair and a healthy scalp.

Title: Re: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Lord Undies on February 18, 2008, 10:16:06 PM

"Obama made my coat shiny!"
-Trixie the Toe Tappin' Terrier

Title: Re: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Uhhuh35 on February 19, 2008, 07:05:57 AM

My toilet now uses even less water per flush!

My carpets are easier to vacuum.

My pants fit better.

My car gets better gas mileage.

My whites are whiter, my colors more brilliant!

Food tastes better.

My favorite song is always on the radio.

Paint jobs only require one coat now.

I dont cry when slicing onions.

Im no longer constipated.

And with his leadership, I mastered Calculus.

Title: Re: How Has Barack Obama Changed Your Life?
Post by: Happy Fun Ball on February 19, 2008, 08:30:01 AM

My car now runs on happy thoughts.

I have beaten every Freecell game, even the impossible ones.

I got a job on Mythbusters.

I now know how the three seashell method works (but I still can't explain it).

I can solve the Rubik's Cube with my feet.

I got a second head and a third arm.

I can belch the 1812 Overture.

I finally found the answer to that all-important question: how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

All commercials on the TV and radio are automatically blocked.

I can stand outside in a massive thunderstorm and not get wet.

I just invented a device which can slow down the passage of time. I installed it in my car and it's great for getting away from the cops.

I have my very own stargate.

And as for change, now I always have the exact amount of change for anything I buy