The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Wayne on May 19, 2009, 02:41:40 PM
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of
'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.
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2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
I like this one. :-)
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2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
I like this one. :-)
Hi,
You might enjoy this one, it is a true story.
When my oldest son was 16, he used to join us and watch his younger brother play baseball. One of the sisters of another ballplayers, very cute to say the least, started hanging out around us, talking etc. Like the good father I was, I suggested to my oldest boy that he should ask her out....she is cute, and appeared very interested in him.
Naah, he responded. I kept pushing and he kept pushing back, not interested. I finally said to him, I don't understand why you would not want to go out with a nice young girl like that. He finally glared at me and said, "Dad, let me explain it to you this way. She has only been made twice, one by the football team and once by the band!".
I think I spit my Cheerios about halfway across the kitchen table. His mother was laughing so hard she had to walk out of the room. About all I could do is mumble something like, "gotcha son!"
As she continued to come around, I have to confess that I viewed the young lady much differently. One of the many realizations that times had changed since I was a kid his age......
regards,
5412