The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Miss Mia on April 03, 2009, 12:38:43 PM
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Okay, I'm sitting at the receptionist's desk at 12:30pm. And someone says "Is the receptionist at lunch?" No, I'm just sitting here for fun.
Or when I'm walking into the building holding the bank bag. "Did you go to the bank?" Nope, I just carry this around for fun.
Walking in with a bag from a fast food place. "Did you go pick up lunch?"
Seriously? :whatever:
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They're stupid. Simple answer to a simple question. I like the people that call up and the first question is "whatcha doin?" Obviously, I'm talking on the phone.
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Why do people ask stupid questions?
I swear to God, this stuff just writes itself!
:evillaugh:
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Here's your sign............ :-)
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I swear to God, this stuff just writes itself!
:evillaugh:
:asssmack:
And you know what? It's always just one co-worker that asks that kind of question. What a maroon.
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Here's your sign............ :-)
He's hilarious! I just can't believe how often this seems to be happening to me lately. I'm pretty sarcastic, I find myself holding back in my answer.
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Okay, I'm sitting at the receptionist's desk at 12:30pm. And someone says "Is the receptionist at lunch?" No, I'm just sitting here for fun.
Or when I'm walking into the building holding the bank bag. "Did you go to the bank?" Nope, I just carry this around for fun.
Walking in with a bag from a fast food place. "Did you go pick up lunch?"
Seriously? :whatever:
You're not the only one....
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erwv8vcZEoU[/youtube]
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My favorite when I worked at the bookstore many moons ago was, "Do you work here?"
Me: "The long blue apron with the store's name and the name tag didn't tip you off?"
Or the always vague, "I'm looking for a book. You had it on a stand out front last week. It had a purple cover."
Me: "Ah, yes, now I know which book you're talking about! I memorize all of the books by the color of their cover."
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I find myself holding back in my answer.
I don't.
It's much better to surrender to your inner smartass. If you try to hold him/her down too long, your head will explode.
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My wife, bless her heart, is the master of obvious questions. Since she is married to the master of smartass, it's been a tough row for her to hoe.
Her, walking into a 3/4ths painted room: "Oh, so you are painting this room blue?"
Me: "No, I'm peeling the white off and it's blue underneath."
Her: "I hate you." (<< standard last words on any subject at hand)
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It's not that people are stupid so much as all the common sense and confidence has been trained out of them by the various institutions set up to dumb us down and convince us to doubt ourselves.
Asking stupid questions carries much less stigma than being confident and self-assured.
Honestly, I think all of this can be laid at the feet of the Monty Python cheese shop sketch.
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My favorite when I worked at the bookstore many moons ago was, "Do you work here?"
Me: "The long blue apron with the store's name and the name tag didn't tip you off?"
Or the always vague, "I'm looking for a book. You had it on a stand out front last week. It had a purple cover."
Me: "Ah, yes, now I know which book you're talking about! I memorize all of the books by the color of their cover."
[youtube=425,350]LFs0PHQH8JE[/youtube]
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Okay, I'm sitting at the receptionist's desk at 12:30pm. And someone says "Is the receptionist at lunch?" No, I'm just sitting here for fun.
Maybe they were just looking for the receptionist? Maybe they thought there could be other reasons why you were sitting at her desk, like she went home sick?
I do know what you mean about questions, as silly as they seem to me, they are important to the person asking at the time. So I do my best to answer them. :-)
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He's hilarious! I just can't believe how often this seems to be happening to me lately. I'm pretty sarcastic, I find myself holding back in my answer.
My favorite - "Oh, are you on the phone?" as they walk into my office WHILE I'm ON the phone. Idjits.
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In the words of Mr. Garrison, "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people."
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If I get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to visit the loo, my husband rouses and says "Where are you going?"
Instead of getting pissed (sorry) off, I invent new replies. "Just off to have my affair with the midget in the medicine cabinet!"
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Some questions are rhetorical...dumbasses.... :-)
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Maybe they were just looking for the receptionist? Maybe they thought there could be other reasons why you were sitting at her desk, like she went home sick?
I do know what you mean about questions, as silly as they seem to me, they are important to the person asking at the time. So I do my best to answer them. :-)
It was the stupid title clerk. The Service & Parts depts are grilling out for lunch today. I saw her when I was at the service dept and said "well, I gotta get back to let so-and-so go to lunch." Then she came downstairs like 30 minutes later with license plates and asked "Is so-and-so at lunch?" :thatsright:
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They're stupid. Simple answer to a simple question. I like the people that call up and the first question is "whatcha doin?" Obviously, I'm talking on the phone.
My response to someone who asks "whatch doin" is, why I am bowling of course.
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Stupid questions:
Woman to man: "What are you thinking about?"
My answer: "Beer, Sex, Sports, Sex, Hot wings, Sex. Why?"
Man to woman: "Are you gaining weight?"
Her answer: "CLANG!!!!!!!" (sound of frying pan impacting man's skull)
:-) :hyper: :whatever:
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I have the least seniority in my department (though I've been there 6 years) so I frequently answer to phone to hear somthing like, "This is _______, I have a problem with the _____monitor. Is anyone there today?"
I can never resist saying, "Well, I'm here."
I also can't resist just letting that hang for a couple seconds before saying that I'll be right down to look at ____monitor.
:-) :-)
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I've had similar moments at my job... and had one today, but I don't feel like rehashing THAT crap.
Now, to open up my Zune software and listen to my Bill Engvall playlist. :p
I have the least seniority in my department (though I've been there 6 years) so I frequently answer to phone to hear somthing like, "This is _______, I have a problem with the _____monitor. Is anyone there today?"
I can never resist saying, "Well, I'm here."
I also can't resist just letting that hang for a couple seconds before saying that I'll be right down to look at ____monitor.
:-) :-)
:rotf:
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Caller, "Can I speak with you for just a moment?"
Me, "Well, you're doing good so far and your moment is up. ...(click)..."
OR telemarketers
"This is so and so with such and such. I know you're busy so I won't take but a minute of your time. I'd like to tell you about this wonderful blah blah blah......................blah, blah.........."
And 60 seconds later just as they're about to finish, Me, "Well, it looks like your minute is up. Bye."
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They're stupid. Simple answer to a simple question. I like the people that call up and the first question is "whatcha doin?" Obviously, I'm talking on the phone.
I say that every time I call someone. I try not to but it just comes out. Every time I call my husband at work and ask him he says......"Working". I know the answer yet I ask it every time.
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If I get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to visit the loo, my husband rouses and says "Where are you going?"
Instead of getting pissed (sorry) off, I invent new replies. "Just off to have my affair with the midget in the medicine cabinet!"
LOL :rotf:
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Caller, "Can I speak with you for just a moment?"
Me, "Well, you're doing good so far and your moment is up. ...(click)..."
OR telemarketers
"This is so and so with such and such. I know you're busy so I won't take but a minute of your time. I'd like to tell you about this wonderful blah blah blah......................blah, blah.........."
And 60 seconds later just as they're about to finish, Me, "Well, it looks like your minute is up. Bye."
Oh, to mess with the mind of a telemarketer. That would turn my worst day around.
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At 3am, sleeping peacefully and he asks, "are you awake?". :whatever:
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At 3am, sleeping peacefully and he asks, "are you awake?". :whatever:
I've been there. It ain't rhetorical. He's talking to your netherregions.
Headboard shot for the imagination-impaired: :rocker2:
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I've been there. It ain't rhetorical. He's talking to your netherregions.
Headboard shot for the imagination-impaired: :rocker2:
Yeah, it all depends on what the definition of "you" is.
:naughty:
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At 3am, sleeping peacefully and he asks, "are you awake?". :whatever:
You've been married HOW LONG?
And you still don't bother to translate "Man Code"?
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That's why God invented snoring, so people don't ask you dumbass questions when you're trying to sleep.
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That's why God invented snoring, so people don't ask you dumbass questions when you're trying to sleep.
Except "Why are you snoring? You never use to snore. Are you old?"
That's me to my wife.......life is funny when you spend the entire thing together.
This coming June 3rd., we are going to be married 38 years. We are in our mid-50's. That means we raised each other.
We feel like we are in our 70's. Snoring lets us know the other one is alive. :-)
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I am the queen of asking questions (yes, I know it can be a PITA, some dumb, some not, but I think the reason most people ask the ones like Ms. Mia is talking about do it just to start conversation, because they suck at starting conversations, they ask dumb, obvious questions. I am one of those people who has to know what's going on at all times, so yeah, I ask my hubby 400 times a week where he is going, when he is heading to the john. Can't believe he still answers me. :-)
As for telemarketers, I usually tell them that my pet pig is having piglets on the couch, I can't talk now it is against my religion to be on the phone on ___________day, hour, month. My new favorite, if they ask for me by name, is to tell them I died. Will gory details. Then cry. This seems to end their connection to me, especially if I start wailing, "Why, dammit, why?" You can also start asking them dirty questions, asking if they will take their clothes off, what their address/phone number is, do they do 4-somes. etc. It gives you something to do when you are bored. Of course, I own my own business, not sure how this would go over if working for a company that does stuff like record calls for quality, etc.