The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: franksolich on March 26, 2009, 08:41:56 AM
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Last evening (Wednesday evening), I went to some sort of pre-funeral funeral, for the sister (whom I did not know) of a friend. I had no idea exactly what it was to be; I "caught" the time and place, but not the description, of the event.
Such is the life of the deaf, where one oftentimes goes to events without in advance fully knowing what the event is.
It turned out, fortunately, to be a "rosary," and not a "wake."
Growing up in central Nebraska, "wake" was just a word in books and newspapers to me, with no particular meaning. We did not have "wakes" in the area, although apparently such were common among the ethnics in Omaha.
It wasn't until my maternal grandmother in northeastern Pennsylvania died, that I ever actually saw a "wake"--the first and only "wake" I ever attended.
I was appalled.
Here, someone dear to many had died, after many months of stress and anxiety (she was 89 years old), and there were tons of people coming to the house, to visit, to eat and drink, to carouse. The aunt who had taken care of my grandmother the last years of her life was worn out, dragged out, exhausted, tired, and here she was compelled to be a gracious hostess to scores of people who just sat around being gluttonous and drunk.
Awkwardly, being unfamiliar with the situation, I tried to help, but as I was a stranger to most there, I was an "invisible" bartender and caterer.
And this was before the funeral, even.
This was no way for decent and civilized people to act, I thought, and as mentioned, I have since refused to attend a "wake."
Damn, I'm glad I grew up in an area where there was no such thing, where people have more respect for the departed and family.
One wonders how--and most particularly why--"wakes" evolved, and exactly what their purpose is.
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I have been to two events describes as "wakes". They were religious ceremonies. No food or drink. Just songs, prayers, and remembrances. Both of these wakes were for people of Mexican origins or connections with Catholic ties.
I've never been to a wake as you describe, Frank. They sound like good old fashion Irish wakes.
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For some a wake is a celebration of a person's life rather than mouring their death.
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For some a wake is a celebration of a person's life rather than mouring their death.
Frank, as a midwesterner, I was puzzled by this tradition as well. However, my wife and I lived for a number of years in the NYC area, where elaborate "wakes" are commonplace. I was told that it evolved from Irish immigrants who started the practice upon their arrival in the area in the latter part of the 19th century, and it spread to the populace at large. It is intended to be a "celebration of life", however, the ones that I have attended generally degraded into a drunken brawl.......I suspect that you will find wakes in any area having a population of people of Irish decent.
doc
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It is intended to be a "celebration of life", however, the ones that I have attended generally degraded into a drunken brawl.
Speaking as someone with a big contingent of Irish ancestors and collateral relations, I am somewhat puzzled by your choice of the word "Degraded" instead of a more appropriate one, such as "Progressed," in that sentence, as well as your omission of "Glorious" before "Drunken."
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Well, actually, the one for my grandmother did degrade into a drunken circus, but it was a Slovak circus, not an Irish one.
I must have too much of the English old Methodism in me, from my paternal side, the prim and proper temperament, as I found it appalling, all these tall dark people acting outside of the way I had known them.
Far be it from me to criticize the funerary customs of other cultures and societies, but I wouldn't touch one of those things with a ten-foot primitive.
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Speaking as someone with a big contingent of Irish ancestors and collateral relations, I am somewhat puzzled by your choice of the word "Degraded" instead of a more appropriate one, such as "Progressed," in that sentence, as well as your omission of "Glorious" before "Drunken."
I stand corrected......
doc