The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: ReardenSteel on March 02, 2009, 09:03:01 PM

Title: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: ReardenSteel on March 02, 2009, 09:03:01 PM
Celebutard of the Week: Gwyneth Paltrow
by Andrea Peyser
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/apeyser/2009/03/02/celebutard-of-the-week-gwyneth-paltrow/

Quote
After winning the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, Gwyneth Paltrow has been shamefully idle (Shallow Hal, anyone?) Even her latest film, Two Lovers, co-starring Joaquin Phoenix, premiered, depressingly unnoticed, at the Sunshine Cinema on New York’s Lower East Side.

But Gwyneth, who moved to London after declaring, “We’re all going to die when George Bush has his way,’’ is far from allergic to taking home our money. Nor is the lady bred in an exclusive Manhattan private school opposed to reinventing herself in a curiously American kind of career:  lifestyle guru.

Quote
I never thought I’d read these words coming from the aristocratic Gwyn’s hand. But here is it is:

“If your bowel movements get sluggish, you can accelerate things by drinking half a cup of castor oil or using a mild herbal laxative. Bowel elimination is paramount for correct detoxification.’’

It's a little bit political but Gwyneth Paltrow-lifestyle guru-Bowl elimination talk just screams lounge!  :-)

Now is the time for the airing of the puns.

Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: rich_t on March 02, 2009, 09:04:05 PM
WTF???
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: ReardenSteel on March 02, 2009, 09:16:59 PM
Quote from: rich_t on March 02, 2009, 09:04:05 PM
WTF???

With Gwyneth Paltrow a "WTF" is pretty much mandatory.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Rick on March 02, 2009, 09:17:46 PM
I am sure she is going to clean up in her new career.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: ReardenSteel on March 02, 2009, 09:23:24 PM
Quote from: Ranger Rick on March 02, 2009, 09:17:46 PM
I am sure she is going to clean up in her new career.

And what a fine career movement it was.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Odin's Hand on March 02, 2009, 09:25:51 PM
This is what happens when you become "perma-fried".
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Chris_ on March 02, 2009, 09:37:39 PM
She dispenses her lifestyle advice in a newsletter titled GOOP (http://goop.com/).  :lmao:
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Eupher on March 02, 2009, 10:22:18 PM
This thread is a real gas.

And I'm kinda wonderin' if ol' Gwyn's as squeezably soft as her tp is.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Chris on March 02, 2009, 10:27:41 PM
Quote from: Eupher on March 02, 2009, 10:22:18 PM
This thread is a real gas.

And I'm kinda wonderin' if ol' Gwyn's as squeezably soft as her tp is.

She looks kinda skinny.  My guess is no.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: NHSparky on March 03, 2009, 10:19:00 AM
As long as she doesn't try to team up with Sheryl Crow and tell us to use only one square of TP afterwards.

Then again, I doubt she's done this.  Give a liberal an enema and you could bury them in a thimble.
Title: Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
Post by: Wineslob on March 03, 2009, 10:19:17 AM
Has she finally learned to tell her ass from a hole in the ground??    :mental: