The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Miss Mia on February 21, 2009, 08:40:32 PM
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Mistress contest takes a deadly turn (http://www.examiner.com/x-1961-Sexual-Health-Examiner[b)
Stop whining about the price of gas and how little Timmy’s college fund—aka that paint can-sized Starbuck’s Frappuccino you’re holding—is looking pretty grim. There’s a world outside our petty American problems—take China, for instance. In Beijing the recent economic slowdown struck a married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford to keep all five of his mistresses. He was forced to hold a competition to decide which one to keep. But the contest took a deadly turn when one of the girls, eliminated for her looks, drove the man—and the four other contestants—off a cliff. The rejected mistress died while the other passengers were hospitalized.
The 29-year-old woman, Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in 2000. Her suitor was married and had four other mistresses, all of whom were aware of each other but unwilling to give up their rent-free apartments and $730 (5,000 yuan) monthly allowance. When the economy took a nosedive, the businessman decided to downsize his sex stable and let go of all but one mistress. And so he did what any savvy adulterer would do: staged a private contest in which the women would compete to remain the sole bit-on-the-side (think Mistress America). Without telling the women why they were participating, he hired a modeling agency instructor to judge the women on looks, singing ability, and how much liquor they could hold.
Yu was eliminated in the first round based on her appearance, but she held her head high and demonstrated ultimate congeniality by asking if everyone would like to join her on a sightseeing trip before she departed to her home province. When the car Yu was driving plummeted off a cliff, it became clear that her “I’m fine—no, really—I hear Shakey’s is hiring†speech earlier was bull. While police initially thought the crash might have been an accident, a note Yu had left behind describing the contest gave them pause. After the incident the businessman paid Yu’s parents the American equivalent of nearly $85,000 as compensation for their daughter’s death (not even close to what that guy who found a finger in his fast food meal got, but whose to say which party suffered the greater loss?). And not to worry because karma came creeping toward our dashing businessman when his four remaining mistresses dumped him—as did his wife.
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Damn, talk about a "hell hath no fury" moment.
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So, then, I suppose that the moral of the story is have no more than three mistresses. :tongue: :fuelfire: :innocent: