The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: PatriotGame on February 10, 2009, 09:26:10 PM
-
Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our
great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a
hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat)
during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag
in protest - kick their ass - real bad.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the
highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing
otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans
fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on
the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then
hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that
you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues,
telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces, Collecting GI
Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven-years-old.
Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,
'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such
ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard
'non-military', Inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) flies by during a parade, get
on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over
your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to
be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn
you a severe ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
We are Americans and we all bleed the same, regardless of our
party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our
Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is
our CinC. Regardless of political party, we have no inside track on
what happens inside those big important buildings where all those
representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to
go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions
repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.
9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me, so stop
saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore
could kick your ass!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying
'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal
balls are not standard issue in the military, but real balls are
a prerequisite for the job. That reminds me- if you see anyone
calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick
their ass!
11. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines*),'Grunt'
(*Army*), 'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are
terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a
service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using
them could get your ass kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of
the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving
and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends,
please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers,
sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with
their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make
every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked.
It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of
the press.
It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.
It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn
the flag.
ONE MORE
13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the
national anthem in Spanish - kick their ass - without mercy.
AND YET ANOTHER ONE:
If you received this email and didn't pass it on, guess what -
you deserve to get your ass kicked!!!!
I sent this to you, because I believe in the United States of America
-
Great post!
They are all great, and I did not serve, so I humbly defer to those of you who did. You are in my prayers daily and in my thoughts always.
The one that got me was the (children exempted) in everyone in the Air Force being a pilot.
God bless you all -- past and present -- and, may I humbly remind everyone that the families of our warriors also serve in their way and certainly need our prayers and support as much as those in uniform?
-
Myself? 82nd Airborne Division during the Carter Administration. My hats off to everyone else who served the Constitution.
However, I sing the first line of the National anthem in Spanish...kinda. At least, I think I do.... "Jose, can you see?" ...not all the way in Spanish...but whatever.
-
Thank you for your service GOP.
That was a great post Patriot!
I've copied and emailed it around.
-
I used to get the Airforce one about being a pilot, I also get it when someone finds out that I work for an airline. I answer them the same today that I did back in the '80's..."no, I'm much smarter than that.".......he just has to know that his systems work on that paticular airplane, I have to know how and why they work on all airplanes, lol. :-) ......No offense to pilots :-)
-
Hi,
That was a terrific post.
I might add that a lot of ex-military fly the flag at their home 24/7. I do when I am in FL and almost dare anyone to ask me about it. No one complains and now there are three houses on our block that fly the flag.
One small thing. BO has got his trillion dollars but told the pentagon to cut their budget by $55 billion citing waste etc, just over 10%. Need to be writing our congressman about that one.
I also try to do little things when I can. I was in the barber shop and a lower ranking enlisted kid came in for a haircut. When I left I paid for his haircut. These kids are putting their ass on the line and really are not well paid. Whether they are buying a donught at a coffee shop, or whatever, one does not need to be shy, just step up and tell them you would be really honored if they would allow you to pay for this or that. They really do appreciate it.
regards,
5412