The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Wretched Excess on January 22, 2009, 12:17:45 PM

Title: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Wretched Excess on January 22, 2009, 12:17:45 PM

I'm not sure which I find funnier.  the thought of a guy piecing his lobster back together, or the thought of
the same guy stuffing crab legs into his mouth as the police bust the door down.

of course, this is probably one of those times that I am the only one on the planet that thinks either one of
them is the slightest bit funny.

Quote
Lobster tale too much to swallow
Man faces court date after trying to return crustacean to grocery

AMSTERDAM A hungry supermarket shopper claimed his lobster was bad, but deputies said it was all a shell game.

Walter U. Tessier of Division Street walked into the Price Chopper on Saturday with a lobster in hand saying he wanted to return it because ''it was bad,'' Montgomery County sheriff's deputies said.

Store workers were about to allow Tessier to trade the $10.99 lobster for a bag of king crab legs when they discovered the lobster was all shell. Tessier had eaten it and put the shell parts back together, deputies said.

When confronted, the man with a passion for seafood ran from the store with the bag of crab legs in hand, they said.

Deputies said they caught up with him at his home only to discover that he had already eaten the crab legs.

Tessier was charged with petit larceny and given an appearance ticket to return to court at a later date.

Linky (http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=761318)
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Miss Mia on January 22, 2009, 12:37:27 PM
LOL!  I imagine him running at full speed with these crab legs sticking out of his mouth and his cheeks all stuffed full like a chipmunk.

:rofl:
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: thundley4 on January 22, 2009, 12:39:11 PM
The Lobster, we can rebuild him, stronger, faster and more dangerous?
(http://www.bioniclobster.com/images/bionic-lobster-large.png)



Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: bijou on January 22, 2009, 12:55:05 PM
Not surprised he was arrested what with the police trapping him in a pincer movement.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Chris_ on January 22, 2009, 12:56:53 PM
I'm sorry.  I just find this whole story shelly.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Splashdown on January 22, 2009, 12:58:56 PM
These stories always bring out the anchor in me.

Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Chris_ on January 22, 2009, 01:09:52 PM
These stories always bring out the anchor in me.



That's awfully shellfish of you...
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Texacon on January 22, 2009, 01:14:11 PM
This story really did have legs didn't it.

KC
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Splashdown on January 22, 2009, 01:22:22 PM
I betcha the store owner wants to gill that guy.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: thundley4 on January 22, 2009, 01:26:44 PM
I heard he cracked under pressure and confessed. The shop owner was boiling mad.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Splashdown on January 22, 2009, 01:52:02 PM
I heard he cracked under pressure and confessed. The shop owner was boiling mad.

If I was the shop owner, that guy would need a sturgeon!
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Wineslob on January 22, 2009, 02:21:55 PM
The cops did a good job in pinching the crook!
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Texacon on January 22, 2009, 02:39:46 PM
This thread is getting too salty for my taste.

Buncha crabby people sliming each other .... it just isn't for me.

You really should open your mind.  Look at the world through a fisheye lens for a little while.

Scale back on the hate y'all.

KC
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: NHSparky on January 22, 2009, 02:48:24 PM
I'm surprised the grocery store actually bought this tail.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Splashdown on January 22, 2009, 03:56:03 PM
all right, bouys and gulls, nothing to see here. Move along.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: bijou on January 22, 2009, 03:59:18 PM
all right, bouys and gulls, nothing to see here. Move along.
You're just fishing for compliments on the quality of your puns aren't you?
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Splashdown on January 22, 2009, 04:01:02 PM
When it comes to fish puns, I've got scrods of 'em.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Eupher on January 22, 2009, 04:06:38 PM
Dunno, seems to me that taking pot shots at the poor critter just ain't fair.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: dutch508 on January 22, 2009, 04:10:48 PM
Once the cops got their claws on him, it was nothing but hot water!
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 22, 2009, 04:20:34 PM
Seeing that this happened in my area, I caught a couple of the local talk-show hosts talking about it.  It had them adrift at sea in their thinking.  And, it was eleven effin' dollars' worth that the idiot did this for.  Price Chopper (the chain) is going ahead with charges, the last I had heard.

I wanted to know if Sparks . . . whoops! . . . "Stinky The Clown" was in the area.  No mention was made of the guy's odor, so I doubt it.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: NHSparky on January 22, 2009, 04:51:05 PM
Seeing that this happened in my area, I caught a couple of the local talk-show hosts talking about it.  It had them adrift at sea in their thinking.  And, it was eleven effin' dollars' worth that the idiot did this for.  Price Chopper (the chain) is going ahead with charges, the last I had heard.

I wanted to know if Sparks . . . whoops! . . . "Stinky The Clown" was in the area.  No mention was made of the guy's odor, so I doubt it.

You talkin 'bout me?

Seriously, $10.99 for a lobster?  Better have been a decent-sized one.  The chick lobsters go for $4.99 a pound at Market Basket.  Granted, larger ones go for up to $7.99/lb, but they have a much greater percentage of meat.  A 1 lb. lobster typically gives 4-5 oz. of meat, depending on how greedy/patient you are.  A 3-4 lb. lobster gives you close to 20-24 oz.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Wineslob on January 23, 2009, 12:22:22 PM
You talkin 'bout me?

Seriously, $10.99 for a lobster?  Better have been a decent-sized one.  The chick lobsters go for $4.99 a pound at Market Basket.  Granted, larger ones go for up to $7.99/lb, but they have a much greater percentage of meat.  A 1 lb. lobster typically gives 4-5 oz. of meat, depending on how greedy/patient you are.  A 3-4 lb. lobster gives you close to 20-24 oz.


Yeesh, we pay $12.99 lb for the damn things.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: NHSparky on January 23, 2009, 01:30:05 PM
$12.99 a POUND?  AYFKM?  Like I said, I may be spoiled living here, but in the fall, you'll never catch me paying more than $7/lb for lobster--and those are the BIG ones.
Title: Re: Reconstructed Lobster Scam : FAIL
Post by: Wineslob on January 23, 2009, 02:36:06 PM
$12.99 a POUND?  AYFKM?  Like I said, I may be spoiled living here, but in the fall, you'll never catch me paying more than $7/lb for lobster--and those are the BIG ones.


Meh, thats for the ones that can only go to 1 1/4 lb  above that the things are $14-15 a lb. Now Dungeness crab is another story, thats "cheap" at $4.99 lb.