The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: ReardenSteel on January 13, 2009, 10:44:58 PM
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/woncothesane/battle-of-the-sexes.jpg)
Love in the Time of Darwinism
Kay S. Hymowitz
A report from the chaotic postfeminist dating scene, where only the strong survive (http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_4_darwinist_dating.html)
Earlier this year, I published an article in City Journal called "Child-Man in the Promised Land" (http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_1_single_young_men.html) The piece elicited a roaring flood of mailed and blogged responses, mostly from young men who didn’t much care for its title (a reference to Claude Brown’s 1965 novel Manchild in the Promised Land) or its thesis: that too many single young males (SYMs) were lingering in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood, shunning marriage and children, and whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes.
snip
Today, though, there is no standard scenario for meeting and mating, or even relating. For one thing, men face a situation—and I’m not exaggerating here—new to human history. Never before have men wooed women who are, at least theoretically, their equals—socially, professionally, and sexually.
By the time men reach their twenties, they have years of experience with women as equal competitors in school, on soccer fields, and even in bed. Small wonder if they initially assume that the women they meet are after the same things they are: financial independence, career success, toned triceps, and sex.
But then, when an SYM walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman, it turns out to be nothing like that. The woman may be hoping for a hookup, but she may also be looking for a husband, a co-parent, a sperm donor, a relationship, a threesome, or a temporary place to live. She may want one thing in November and another by Christmas. “I’ve gone through phases in my life where I bounce between serial monogamy, Very Serious Relationships and extremely casual sex,†writes Megan Carpentier on Jezebel, a popular website for young women. “I’ve slept next to guys on the first date, had sex on the first date, allowed no more than a cheek kiss, dispensed with the date-concept altogether after kissing the guy on the way to his car, ****ed a couple of close friends and, more rarely, slept with a guy I didn’t care if I ever saw again.†Okay, wonders the ordinary guy with only middling psychic powers, which is it tonight?
OK Conservative Cave, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read one or both of these (admitedly long) articles and report back with your thoughts from both them and your life experience.
If you only read one, I suggest “Child-Man in the Promised Land.†for women and "Love in the Time of Darwinism" for men.
The question we should attempt to answer here is:
- For MEN - "What the heck do women want?"
- For WOMEN - "What the heck is up with men today?"
Let the battle begin... :evillaugh:
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"What the heck do women want?"
One or more of the following:
a) Everything.
b) They have no idea whatsoever.
c) Whatever is the opposite of what they have right now.
d) Ever see the vision sequence between Frodo and Galadriel in Lord of the Rings? Yeah, kinda like that.
e) "To be happy/to be loved" - see 'a' through 'd,' above, for what this means 'as applied.'
On a more serious note, ol' Kay is apparently blind to the idea that what she sees as women being ever-so-adult is actually exactly the same thing the young men are doing, subbing two hours shopping for two hours gaming, which are equally-immature pursuits (not that I have a problem with doing immature things, but let's call a spade a spade here). It has the net effect of changing the dynamic at least as much by taking the female side of the equation out of play on that whole family-formation failure that she seems to be bemoaning. I don't know anything about the woman, but it reads like a biological clock-driven rant about why it's all men's fault.
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I thought I might be able to contribute some wisdom to this thread, but it is doubtful since I haven't been single since 1987. However, I do have some reasons why I think things are so confused.
Divorce - how many children are raised without two stable role models?
Abortion - if you are pregnant, that's your problem.
Career Moms - hey, sometimes the children's needs are secondary to mom's career.
Emasculated men and emasculating women - it's just the way things are done now.
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Emasculated men and emasculating women - it's just the way things are done now.
I wonder how one "emasculates" a woman ?!?!?!?!?
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I wonder how one "emasculates" a woman ?!?!?!?!?
If it's Rosie ODonnell , you take away her strap**. :rotf:
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Emasculated men and emasculating women - it's just the way things are done now.
Think Husb2Sparkly and Sparkly . . .
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I wonder how one "emasculates" a woman ?!?!?!?!?
Let me try to clear this up with a synonym. :-)
Castrated men and the women who castrate them.... :naughty:
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Think Husb2Sparkly and Sparkly . . .
Sparkly and not so sparkly. :-)
We have neighbors who are like Jack Sprat and his wife. For years, I referred to him as "Slim" and her "Not so Slim", but not to their face. I always had to be careful when talking to Don so that I would use his proper name.
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Emasculated men and emasculating women - it's just the way things are done now.
Shit that's easy to understand
1. Bearded clam
2. Mans desire to do anything for the bearded clam due to his love of seafood :uhsure:
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Men win.
GAME OVER.
:-) :-) :-)
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I watched an episode of Desperate Housewives last night, and the married couple were having a fight. The husband goes "I check my balls at the door when I come home at night" :rotf:
That struck me as very funny. :uhsure:
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I watched an episode of Desperate Housewives last night, and the married couple were having a fight. The husband goes "I check my balls at the door when I come home at night" :rotf:
That struck me as very funny. :uhsure:
Men with good breeding are spoda do that, aren't they? :popcorn:
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Made me think of the old bad joke...
Why can women use sex to get what they want and men can't?
Because sex IS what we want. :p
To the article I would say part of the problem is that there are no objective rules anymore to dating and courtship. Hooking up for dates and/or just sex is easy but making it last is a whole new ball game. Women don't need men anymore and I wonder if men resent that. (??) I know trust is a lot harder to come by for both. Both sexes come to the relationship with a big history of partners. Divorce is a finatcial disaster for both parties and an emotional bomb for any children involved.
What a mess. :evillaugh: