The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on January 07, 2009, 06:03:16 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x52184
Oh my.
And one has the impression primitives have no sense of humor.
Mira (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 11:27 AM
Original message
A little levity for all the cooks I have learned to peek in on - and Happy New Year.
My cooking has 4 levels:
Level 1: My spouse and I will eat it.
(example: tuna sandwiches)
Level 2: My spouse and I won't eat it, but the dogs will eat it.
(example: moderately burned chocolate chip cookies)
Level 3: The dogs won't eat it, but the chickens will eat it.
(example: rice prepared with one cup rice to one cup water)
Level 4: The chickens won't eat it.
(example: potatoes microwaved without stabbing first, aka potato-
based charcoal briquets)
May all your cooking be Level 1.
Husb2Sparkly (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
1. Lemme tall ya sumpin' ............
I would bet a year's pay that not one person who posts in this forum has missed out on the joys of Levels 3 or 4 ....... and probably Level 5, if it exists!
The tambourine Bambi primitive, who's pretty old:
Tangerine LaBamba (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. Level 4
Putting a chunk of lasagna, uncovered, of course, into the microwave, and somehow hitting 11 instead of 1 minute. And then leaving the kitchen and forgetting about it................
Mira (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. That's a bloody explosion. And I would call that level 11.
Mind_your_head (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Oh YES.....I've "done" that.......not necessarily lasagna though.
Whatta tragic, dried out, overcooked mess!
Warpy (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
5. I never bother to stab potatoes before I nuke them
When was the last time one exploded in the microwave?
If you're getting charcoal briquets, you've simply set the timer wrong.
Moderately burned chocolate chip cookies are fine. It's called a microplane, and it removes sins from the bottoms of cookies as well as grating that super expensive nubbin of cheese over your spaghetti.
There is a level 5: pigs and goats won't eat it. That means you've managed to achieve deadly poison in the kitchen.
"level 5" must be when one ruins good cheese with tomatoes and peppers, I guess.
grasswire (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. that microplane might work....
...as a ped egg, too!
dotcosm (1000+ posts) Mon Jan-05-09 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. Last night, that's when
I too have long given up on poking my taters, mainly because I tend to scrub the skin so well that I figured (wrongly) that piercing the skin was the main point of poking the holes (it's not. apparently).
Yep, had my first microwave-based (yam, in this case) explosion. I'd say it wasn't purty, but it actually was (very nice deep orange!)
Aside from that casualty though, what an excellent dish they turned into - mashed them up with some roasted/candied walnuts and dried cranberries! A keeper.
Phentex (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
8. Level 6 - Smoke alarm goes off and no one moves...because as my son said "It's just mom cooking."
In my defense, the blasted thing is extra sensitive. I don't even have to be burning anything and it will go off.
Does anyone here remember when I ruined a pot cooking food for the dogs?
wryter2000 (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. May I add my level 5?
Level 5: So awful I'm afraid the garbage guys might see it in the trash, so I bury it in the back yard.
Level 6: Level 5 so bad all vegetation over the grave dies.
eleny (1000+ posts) Thu Jan-01-09 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. Forgetting to score chestnuts before putting them in the oven
"What's that popping sound?", he asked.
I dunno.
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I've only had a potato "explode" once in a microwave oven and I never 'poke" them. They've always turned out fine, too, on the whole. I've had them explode in a convection oven a few times. (Still un-poked)
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wryter2000 (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-31-08 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. May I add my level 5?
Level 5: So awful I'm afraid the garbage guys might see it in the trash, so I bury it in the back yard.
Level 6: Level 5 so bad all vegetation over the grave dies.
I can't imagine burying it...but have to admit, I laughed at "level 6".... :lmao: