The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: NHSparky on January 30, 2008, 12:15:41 PM
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Haven't seen this one up yet, so here goes!
"Name's Ash. Housewares." --Army of Darkness
"Spartans! What is your profession?"
"HA-OOH! HA-OOH! HA-OOH!"
"You see my friend? I brought more soldiers than you did." --300
"Oh, yes, and one more thing, dear Lord, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little bastards straight to Hell. Amen." --We Were Soldiers
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Brody: "You're gonna need a bigger boat." --Jaws
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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the Valley of Darkness; for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And, I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And, you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
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"Get away from her, you BITCH!" -Aliens
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Airplane!
Dr. Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: I can't tell.
Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, I mean, I'm just not sure.
Dr. Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess "for another two hours"?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, no, no, I mean we can't land for another two hours.
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"Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad." --O Brother, Where Art Thou?
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"Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad." --O Brother, Where Art Thou?
:lmao: Good one!
Tombstone
Cowboy: Doc, you ought to be in bed. What the Hell you going this for anyway?
Doc Holliday: Wyatt Earp is my friend.
Cowboy: Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc Holliday: I don't.
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"Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad." --O Brother, Where Art Thou?
I love that movie!
Ulysses: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?
Penny: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains.
LOL!
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"A tiger? In Africa?"
-Monty Python, Meaning of Life
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OK. I've needed an excuse to post this pic for some time. However... in my defense it is a movie quote and if I understood the language it could be one of my favorites. Theoretically.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/woncothesane/jabbacat.jpg)
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OK. I've needed an excuse to post this pic for some time. However... in my defense it is a movie quote and if I understood the language it could be one of my favorites. Theoretically.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/woncothesane/jabbacat.jpg)
In Huttese, it means "there will be no bargain Solo!" Perfectly legitimate quote.
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In Huttese, it means "there will be no bargain Solo!" Perfectly legitimate quote.
Wow. I didn't know I had any more to learn about Star Wars. LOL Thanks. :cheersmate:
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This is from my all time favorite movies. It is not so much a "quote" as the greatest love scenes ever IMHO. And yes, I did cut and paste. :p
Scarlett: [pleads with Rhett as he is about to leave to join the Confederate Army] Oh, Rhett! Please, don't go! You can't leave me! Please! I'll never forgive you!
Rhett Butler: I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.
Scarlett: [struggles] Don't hold me like that!
Rhett Butler: [holds her tighter] Scarlett! Look at me! I've loved you more than I've ever loved any woman and I've waited for you longer than I've ever waited for any woman.
[kisses her forhead]
Scarlett: [turns her face away] Let me alone!
Rhett Butler: [forces her to look him in the eyes] Here's a soldier of the South who loves you, Scarlett. Wants to feel your arms around him, wants to carry the memory of your kisses into battle with him. Never mind about loving me, you're a woman sending a soldier to his death with a beautiful memory. Scarlett! Kiss me! Kiss me... once...
[he kisses her]
They don't make them like they used to. :(
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This is from my all time favorite movies. It is not so much a "quote" as the greatest love scenes ever IMHO. And yes, I did cut and paste. :p
Scarlett: [pleads with Rhett as he is about to leave to join the Confederate Army] Oh, Rhett! Please, don't go! You can't leave me! Please! I'll never forgive you!
Rhett Butler: I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.
Scarlett: [struggles] Don't hold me like that!
Rhett Butler: [holds her tighter] Scarlett! Look at me! I've loved you more than I've ever loved any woman and I've waited for you longer than I've ever waited for any woman.
[kisses her forhead]
Scarlett: [turns her face away] Let me alone!
Rhett Butler: [forces her to look him in the eyes] Here's a soldier of the South who loves you, Scarlett. Wants to feel your arms around him, wants to carry the memory of your kisses into battle with him. Never mind about loving me, you're a woman sending a soldier to his death with a beautiful memory. Scarlett! Kiss me! Kiss me... once...
[he kisses her]
They don't make them like they used to. :(
That's a little more classic than my favorite classic. (I think)
Slim: You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow. -- To Have and Have Not
Hey... it's tubed! :hyper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY4zkWUTvQM
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"Go trig boy, it's your birthday!" --American Pie
"Go back to Jersey, Sonny. This is the City of the Angels and you haven't got any wings." --LA Confidential
"Bring... bring it home? All right, let's bring it home. If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. Huh? One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio all day, about your peace within, and how it's real, and how you're gonna shout it? Or... would you sing somethin' different. Somethin' real. Somethin' *you* felt. Cause I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear. That's the kind of song that truly saves people. It ain't got nothin to do with believin' in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believin' in yourself." --Walk the Line
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." --The Usual Suspects
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"The UN Building. What a joke! They turned it into low rent housing. It's a dump."
Heavy Metal
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Gosh, I have so many! (I love Army of Darkness by the way...just watched it a couple days ago).
In no particular order:
I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled.
Eleanor of Aquitaine, The Lion in Winter
A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen.
Waverly, The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Debbie: We were up at "the top of the world" and we saw this shooting star and we decided to go look for it. But instead of finding the shooting star we saw this... this circus tent. And that's when we went inside, and that is when we saw those people in those... those pink, cotton candy cocoons. Dave, it was not a circus tent. It was something else.
Dave: What? What?
Mike Tobacco: It was a space ship. And there was these things, these killer clowns, and they shot popcorn at us! We barely got away!
Mooney: Killer clowns, from outer space...Holy shit!
Killer Klowns from Outerspace
"Why", you ask? "Why" is not the question. How? Now, that is a question worth examining. How could I, being born of such, uh... conventional stock, arrive a leader of the rebellion? An escapist from a conformist world, destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained? I brought you here for a reason, but unfortunately you and your sentimental minds are doing me no good! My brain is frozen. Locked! I have to break free from this culture of mechanical reproductions and the thick encrustations dying on the surface!
Oh, Christ. **** it!
Otis Driftwood, House of 1000 Corpses
And from two 2001 Maniacs...while I anxiously wait for the sequel)
Kat: I think this might be taking it just a little bit too far.
Harper Alexander: Frankly, Miss *****, I don't give a damn.
Rufus: Now. Daddy. Daddy, don't mind Lester none. I got full confidence in him.
Mayor Buckman: Son, one time I had full confidence in a fart. Shit all over myself.
Cindie
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Elle Driver: That's right. I killed your master. And now I'm gonna kill you too, with your own sword, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become... my sword.
The Bride: Bitch, you don't have a future.
-- "Kill Bill Vol.2 (2004)
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(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y138/firelatte/800px-Heyes-1.jpg)
Well, hello Clarice.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/woncothesane/princessbridesepic4.jpg)
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"Shut the **** up, fat man!"~Jules, Pulp Fiction
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Sherrif: You sir are a cowardly son of a bitch, you just shot an unarmed man.
Munny: Well he should have armed himself, if he is gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.
-- Unforgiven
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"The Almighty says, 'Don't change the subject and answer the ****ing question."~Steven, Braveheart
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"You just shot Marvin in the face."
Pulp Fiction
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.... and I'm all out of bubblegum"
(http://www.drunkendata.com/wp-content/theylive15a.jpg)
Loc Dog's "career plans" from Don't Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood.
http://www.jahozafat.com/php/sounds/?id=gog&media=WAVS&type=Movies&movie=Dont_Be_A_Menace_To_South_Central_While_Drinking_Your_Juice_In_The_Hood"e=robitblind.txt&file=robitblind.wav
(http://www.gorila.sk/i/imgs_orig/393/6393.jpg)
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Jack Burton: What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?
Egg Shen: Yeah.
Jack Burton: Thought so, good. What do we do? Drink it?
Egg Shen: Yeah.
Jack Burton: Good, thought so.
-- Big Trouble in Little China
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Anytime Samual L. Jackson says "mother****er" in a sentence.
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"60% of the time it works, every time."
"You are a smelly pirate hooker."
"Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?"
"Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."
"Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder."
Anchorman is always good for a few hundred lines in any thread....
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Both of my favorites are from the same movie......
(http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z230/alleyez2pac/gladiator.jpg)
Commodus: Rise, rise.
[Maximus stands up, clenching an arrow head in his right hand]
Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't think there's ever been a gladiator to match you. As for this young man, he insists you are Hector reborn. Or was it Hercules? Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name.
Maximus: My name is Gladiator.
[turns away from Commodus]
Commodus: How dare you show your back to me! Slave, you will remove your helmet and tell me your name.
Maximus: [removes helmet and turns around to face Commodus] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Gracchus: Fear and wonder, a powerful combination.
Falco: You really think people are going to be seduced by that?
Gracchus: I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob. Conjure magic for them and they'll be distracted. Take away their freedom and still they'll roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate, it's the sand of the coliseum. He'll bring them death - and they will love him for it.
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Dwayne T. Robinson: [Watching as FBI helicopter is destroyed] "We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess." -- Die Hard
:lmao:
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Anytime Samual L. Jackson says "mother****er" in a sentence.
That's every single line of dialog in every non-Star Wars movie he has ever been in. And even the, you KNOW Mace Windu was THINKING it.
"Take your seat young Skywalker, you arrogant, Poo Buck little Mother****er."
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Anytime Samual L. Jackson says "mother****er" in a sentence.
That's every single line of dialog in every non-Star Wars movie he has ever been in. And even the, you KNOW Mace Windu was THINKING it.
"Take your seat young Skywalker, you arrogant, Poo Buck little Mother****er."
:lmao:
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(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cf/*****_Galore_by_Honor_Blackman.jpg)
Galore: "My name is ***** Galore."
Bond: "I must be dreaming."
From Goldfinger.
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"I'm Ricky Bobby, if you don't chew Big Red, then **** you".
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"I'm Ricky Bobby, if you don't chew Big Red, then **** you".
"Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey"
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I have so many favorites, but I always laugh when I see this silly scene from Transformers:
Ironhide: You have a rodent infestation.
Sam Witwicky: A what?
Ironhide: [aiming cannons at Mojo] Shall I terminate?
Sam Witwicky: No! No! This is a chihuahua. We love chihuahuas.
Ironhide: He's leaked lubricants all over my foot! Hmmph!
Sam Witwicky: He peed on you? Bad Mojo! Bad!
Ironhide: Bad Mojo! Ugh, my foot's gonna rust...
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MAYOR: I don't want any more trouble like you had last year in the Fillmore district. Understand? That's my policy.
HARRY: Yeah, well when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
MAYOR: Intent? How did you establish that?
HARRY: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross. (Leaves)
MAYOR: I think he's got a point.
Dirty Harry
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Murtaugh: "God hates me. That's what it is."
Riggs: "Hate him back; it works for me." --Lethal Weapon
Riggs: "DO YOU REALLY WANNA JUMP? DO YA?" --Lethal Weapon
I still can't believe nobody has brought this one up yet:
"Yippie-ki-yay, mother****a..." --Die Hard
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Andy Dufrane: Get busy living, or get busy dying - Shawshank Redemption (Of course, it's too bad the first guy that said it is a loon..)
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Murtaugh: "God hates me. That's what it is."
Riggs: "Hate him back; it works for me." --Lethal Weapon
Riggs: "DO YOU REALLY WANNA JUMP? DO YA?" --Lethal Weapon
I still can't believe nobody has brought this one up yet:
"Yippie-ki-yay, mother****a..." --Die Hard
:lmao:
Dunno why but the Dwayne quote I put at the bottom of page two is the one that just kills me every time. It's just not usual for the "wormy politition" types to get good laugh lines. (other than directed at them anyway)
The yippie-ki-yay quote was a great repeated line though. I like the whole set up for it too...
[on the radio]
Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, mother****er.
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"You changed your name to McLovin?"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
(Oh, and can we merge topics now?)
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Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.
- Sherri Ann Cabot, Best in Show
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Television is reality. And reality is less than television.
-- Dr. Brian Oblivian, Videodrome
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I am serious....and don't call me Shirley.
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"Send more paramedics."
--A zombie in Return of the Living Dead after snacking on some paramedics
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Stalag 17. . .
Sefton: What is this anyway, a kangaroo court? Why don't you get a rope and do it right?
Duke: You make my mouth water.
Sefton: You're all wire-happy, boys. You've been in this camp too long. You put two and two together and it comes out four - only it ain't four.
Hoffy: What's it add up to you, Sefton?
Sefton: It adds up that you got yourselves the wrong guy. Because, I'm telling you, the krauts wouldn't plant two stoolies in one barracks. And whatever you do to me, you're gonna have to do all over again when you find the right guy.
Sefton: Oh you would, would you? Listen, stupe. The first week I was in this joint, somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket, and my left shoe. Well, since then I've wised up. This ain't no Salvation Army - this is everybody for himself, dog eat dog.
300. . .
King Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness...? THIS... IS... SPARTA!
[Kicks the messenger down the well]
King Leonidas: [on being told the Persians are coming to parley] Captain, I leave you in charge.
Captain: But, sire...
King Leonidas: Relax, old friend. If they kill me, all Sparta goes to war. Pray they're that stupid. Pray we're that lucky.
[He takes another bite of apple, as the Captain notices a Persian soldier, still alive]
King Leonidas: Besides, there's no reason we can't be civil, is there?
Captain: [stabs the Persian] None, sire.
Xerxes: Come Leonidas, let us reason together. It would be a regrettable waste. It would be nothing short of madness for you, brave king, and your valiant troops to perish. All because of a simple misunderstanding. There is much our cultures could share.
King Leonidas: Haven't you noticed? We've been sharing our culture with you all morning.
King Leonidas:Clearly you don't know our women! I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I've seen.
Queen Gorgo: Freedom is not free, that it comes with the highest of sacrifices. The price of blood.
Queen Gorgo: I am not here to represent Leonidas; his actions speak louder than my words ever could. I am here for all those voices which cannot be heard: mothers, daughters, fathers, sons - three hundred families that bleed for our rights, and for the very principles this room was built upon. We are at war, gentlemen. We must send the entire Spartan army to aid our king in the preservation of not just ourselves, but of our children. Send the army for the preservation of liberty. Send it for justice. Send it for law and order. Send it for reason. But most importantly, send our army for hope - hope that a king and his men have not been wasted to the pages of history - that their courage bonds us together, that we are made stronger by their actions, and that your choices today reflect their bravery.
*TKay*
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LUCKY # SLEVIN
Lots of good lines.
NICK FISHER: That's a ****in' story, man!
MR. GOODCAT: Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third. Now that's a story. This...
This is something else.
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MR. GOODCAT: Sorry about that son. Sometimes there's more to life than just living.
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You apes want to live forever? --John Rico, Starship Troopers
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Lt. Frank Drebin: I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!
[Music stops playing. Everyone stops talking and stares at him]
Lt. Frank Drebin: [to everybody] I mean at the time I was dating a lot.
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You apes want to live forever? --John Rico, Starship Troopers
The book was FAR better. IMHO, leaving out Lt. Col DuBois and substituting Raschak was a HUGE mistake.
This quote is far more appropriate:
Anyone who clings to the historically untrue — and thoroughly immoral — doctrine that "violence never solves anything" I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms.
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"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.
A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock.
So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama.
The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.
So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says,
"Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. "
Do I have to even give the title? :-)
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Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
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Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
Name's Ash. Housewares.
or
Now I swear the next one of you primates even *touches* me...
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Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
Name's Ash. Housewares.
or
Now I swear the next one of you primates even *touches* me...
That movie is on my short list of movies to watch over and over and over and over... I never get tired of it.
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Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
Name's Ash. Housewares.
or
Now I swear the next one of you primates even *touches* me...
That movie is on my short list of movies to watch over and over and over and over... I never get tired of it.
"PISS BOY!!!!!"
:rotf:
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The Pink Panther Strikes Again
Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.
[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.
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"Nobody puts Baby in the corner"- Dirty Dancing *swoon*
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PULL!
It's good to be da King!