The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Chris_ on December 03, 2008, 07:21:42 AM
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Police: Florida Man Arrested for Attacking Father With Christmas Tree
PARRISH, Fla. — Authorities say a west Florida man who lives with his parents has been arrested on a felony assault charge after he used a Christmas tree as a weapon to attack his father.
According to the Manatee County sheriff's report, 37-year-old Thomas Edward Lackie was arrested last week after he threw a 3-foot Christmas tree at his father. The tree missed, but Lackie then tried to use the steel base from the tree to strike his father.
His father and mother were able to grab Lackie's arms to prevent the attack. Deputies say the tree could have caused serious injuries because the metal base weighs about five pounds.
Lackie was charged with felony assault. He denied trying to strike his father.
LINK (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,460684,00.html)
Just :censored: :mental:.
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Nothing like that old holiday spirit. :whatever:
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Nothing like that old holiday spirit. :whatever:
...just ruined an old song for me, "Deck we now ..............."
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Never bring a Christmas Tree to a Hanuka Bush fight.
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Good to see Floridians getting into the Christmas spirit already.
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Good to see Floridians getting into the Christmas spirit already.
I just hope the police can get to the root of the problem in Florida. :-)
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Maybe it wasn't the man, maybe it was the tree..
I couldn't find it on youtube (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jtrees.phtml)
Don Pardo V/O: The Killer Trees!
[The singer's body quivers. Applause. Dissolve to police station where a plainclothes detective speaks on the phone.]
Detective: [into phone] Yeah. Yeah, that's what I said. You heard me! They're killer Christmas trees! ... They're desperate trees, Chief, they won't just settle for tinsel and candy canes - they want blood. ... I don't know, Chief, they're some kind of mutant! ... Well, they hear the traditional Christmas hymn "O Tannenbaum" and then they kill. ... Looks like we've got a full-scale ecological disaster on our hands. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Yeah. All right.
[Detective hangs up. A second plainclothesman, Lieutenant Bushakis, standing nearby, has been listening in.]
Lt. Bushakis: These trees got an M.O.?
Detective: Well, they force themselves onto Christmas tree lots where they lure their victims: unsuspecting, uh, Christmas tree buyers.
Lt. Bushakis: How do they do it?
Detective: Well, by looking full and bushy and standing close to where their cars are parked. And they're very smart.
Lt. Bushakis: Yeah.
Detective: They keep their prices low by constantly marking themselves down.
Lt. Bushakis: Sounds like a tough case to crack.
Detective: We GOTTA crack it! Or a lot of little kids who thought they were gonna get a bicycle -- will end up with a pierced thorax!
Lt. Bushakis: Okay. Let's roll.
Detective: Yeah.
(http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/pics/76jtrees2.jpg)
(http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/pics/76jtrees4.jpg)
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I just hope the police can get to the root of the problem in Florida. :-)
They will need to branch out into a new area of investigation for that.
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They will need to branch out into a new area of investigation for that.
I hope the exec's don't Truncate the investigation. If that happens the detectives will get needled for sure. Better not to skirt the issue.
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They will need to branch out into a new area of investigation for that.
:lmao: terrible!!