The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on October 31, 2008, 12:26:42 PM
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A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.
He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.
A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
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link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Vicar_hospitalised_with_potato_up_his_bum&in_article_id=382493&in_page_id=2)
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This spud's for you!
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He better stay away from the tater tots. :fuelfire:
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Would you like fries with that?
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link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Vicar_hospitalised_with_potato_up_his_bum&in_article_id=382493&in_page_id=2)
Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid. :whatever:
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Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid. :whatever:
Because he didn't want the neighbours to see him with no clothes on. :lmao:
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He better stay away from the tater tots. :fuelfire:
It's a good thing he didn't fall on a watermelon.
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Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid. :whatever:
Because it's the law?
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It's a good thing he didn't fall on a watermelon.
Or a cheese grater! :censored:
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This spud's for you!
You deserve a H5 for that one!
:rotf:
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.
Definitely not. Nope. Couldn't be that. Noooo sir. Uh-uh. Never even occurred to me that it might be.
:evillaugh:
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I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times. I am naturally gifted with grace that way. Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall. I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall. Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
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I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times. I am naturally gifted with grace that way. Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall. I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall. Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
T M I!!!!
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You are such a prude freedumb :-) I didn't even get started about stuff I saw on this one internet site where they show things that have been removed from people's butts.
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I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times. I am naturally gifted with grace that way. Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall. I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall. Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
H5 for one of the funniest posts I've read in a while!
KC
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"One in a million shot, doc! One in a million!"
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I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times. I am naturally gifted with grace that way. Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall. I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall. Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
Are you forgetting Fusilli Jerry?
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Are you forgetting Fusilli Jerry?
I must have, please refresh my memory.
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I'm sorry, but I really have to throw the BS flag on the Vicar's statement. :bs:
I guess he forgot the 10 commandments, f'n pervert.... :hammer: :hammer:
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I guess I just don't "get" why anyone would pick something that might be difficult to, um, hang on to...and remove? There have to be better choices in any household than a potato. ::) ::)
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I guess I just don't "get" why anyone would pick something that might be difficult to, um, hang on to...and remove? There have to be better choices in any household than a potato. ::) ::)
Well, I'm guessing in the heat of the moment...you just...uh, well...just grab the first thing that you see.
Having rabid monkey sex in the root cellar might've been the AO...or things just sort of got out of hand in the pantry.
But I ain't buyin' the biz about hangin' curtains. No way. Uh-uh. :bs:
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I don't even like the thoughts of the doctor sticking his finger up there. But if I found myself in that quandary, I believe I would have come up with something more original. Like, maybe, "I was experimenting with 'preparatory potato planting processes', or maybe, 'reverse osmosis food nutrient uptake'. That's an off=the-wall occurrence and needs an off-the-wall explanation......still funny tho.
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If I fell and something like this happened to me, I would give the following lie:
It was a potato gun! I didn't know it was loaded! All I did was set it down in the bathroom so I could take a shower. And whilst I was bent over adjusting the water, the potato gun fell and went off.
There you have it, one Mannnly excuse.
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I don't even like the thoughts of the doctor sticking his finger up there. But if I found myself in that quandary, I believe I would have come up with something more original. Like, maybe, "I was experimenting with 'preparatory potato planting processes', or maybe, 'reverse osmosis food nutrient uptake'. That's an off=the-wall occurrence and needs an off-the-wall explanation......still funny tho.
Your doctor does what?
If you feel both of his hands on your shoulders,it's not a finger. :evillaugh:
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Or a cheese grater! :censored:
Or a cat...
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Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, shove 'em up yer bum... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
[Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out]
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips.
Sam: You're hopeless.
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Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, shove 'em up yer bum... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
[Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out]
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips.
Sam: You're hopeless.
ROFLMAO!!!! I wonder if people didn't read your post too closely.