The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on September 24, 2008, 12:51:22 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7120032
Oh my.
Lord Marblehead, trying a funny.....and flopping.
Obviously, Lord Marblehead's auditioning for The Onion.
EarlG ADMIN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Sep-19-08 01:13 PM
Original message
EarlG News: Media Announces Bailout Of McCain Campaign
WASHINGTON, DC -- Acting to avert a possible crisis in the U.S. presidential election, the media today announced a bailout of Sen John McCain's (R-AZ) campaign. Cable news commentators scrambled to prop up the Senator's sagging poll numbers Friday as the fast-disappearing dream of a nail-biting horse-race threatened to bring down America's entire punditry system.
A senior CNN political analyst speaking on condition of anonymity said that the collapse of McCain's campaign could prove disastrous to the pundit industry. "A horse-race is vital to our bottom line," he said. "Without neck-and-neck poll numbers we can't maintain an air of suspense right up to election day, and our ratings will suffer. I could be out of a job by this time next week."
"These are desperate times, and we're going to take unprecedented action to bring the polls back into line with our preferred projections," said another anonymous insider. "We'll be ignoring all of McCain's gaffes on foreign policy matters and covering up his tremendous flip-flops on the economy. Then we'll focus tightly on polls which show the closest possible race between the two candidates."
If the first part of the media's emergency bailout fails to turn things around industry insiders say they could resort to more drastic measures, such as taking more of Michelle Obama's comments out of context to gin up another false controversy about her patriotism, or creating additional rumors about Barack Obama's religion. An anonymous source at Fox News revealed, "At this point nothing is off the table."
Reaction to the announcement was mixed, with many members of the public remaining skeptical. "Isn't the media supposed to tell us what's actually happening in the world, as opposed to cherry-picking stories in order to create a narrative that boosts their ratings and advertising revenue?" asked Bob Jenkins, 52, a mechanic from Harrisburg, Penn.
Despite the media's best efforts, John McCain's campaign has teetered on the brink of collapse ever since he selected a clueless moosehunter as his running mate.
The bonfire's full of the standard usual customary primitive ass-kissing.
Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Sep-19-08 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
92. Well-said, indeed.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Sep-19-08 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
92. Well-said, indeed. *gag*choke*cough*swallow*
f1x0r3d!
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f1x0r3d!
You know, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive has ass-kissing down to a fine art.
Damn, he's good at ass-kissing.
I envy his talent at ass-kissing.
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f1x0r3d!
You know, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive has ass-kissing down to a fine art.
Damn, he's good at ass-kissing.
I envy his talent at ass-kissing.
That wasn't ass-kissing he was doing. Think other side.
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That wasn't ass-kissing he was doing. Think other side.
This is Lord Marblehead the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is ass-kissing.
When it's the Bostonian Drunkard, then it's the other side.
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I am going to have to agree with one very small point in EarlG's post. It does seem to me that the pundits are indeed trying to keep the ratings up. They'll pull some obscure poll showing the Obama's winning by a landslide, then, 3 days later, another obscure poll with McCain surging back. Then, with every obscure poll, they drag 4 talking heads on the show to try to decipher what it all means.
For the record, the remainder of Earl's post is undiluted bovine excrement.