The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: CC27 on February 19, 2025, 07:49:54 AM
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PeaceWave (1,367 posts)
My Latin gardener has "disappeared."
Carlos has been our gardener for approximately five years now. At the very beginning of the pandemic, he rolled up to our house in his old rust colored truck, the vehicle's best years far in its rear view mirror. Stepping out, the young man introduced himself. In a timid voice which only became more confident when we indicated that we speak Spanish, Carlos explained that he'd recently lost his job with a construction company but that he was hard working and was going to turn around a bad situation by starting his own landscaping business. "No vine tan lejos sólo para perder." "I didn't come this far just to fail."
Carlos was from El Salvador, a fact which immediately ingratiated himself to us, since our own family's roots extend to that country. "Were we interested in being his first client?" "Do you have an edger?" I asked. I can mow a lawn with the best of them. But, for some reason, edging is a skill I've never mastered, my personal kryptonite. "Yes, I have all the tools I need." The earnest and hopeful look in Carlos' eyes transcended language and culture. Salesmanship begins with the ability to engender trust, the awareness of which is lost on legions of fancy suits hawking their equally fancy financial products. We'd never had a gardener before. But, now we did.
Over the ensuing years, Carlos transformed our lawn and gardens into the envy of the block. His business too flourished. He took on first one, then a second assistant. The old rust colored truck gave way to a bigger spanking white one. Despite having more clients, Carlos' care and attention to detail never diminished. At the slightest sign of yellowing, the lawn was fertilized. Failing sprinkler heads were swapped out. Groaning sprinkler valves were replaced. Along the way, Carlos told us in his steadily improving English about his family and his pride in beginning to achieve his American dream. His son, he said, would also work with his hands. He would be a surgeon.
And now, without any notice whatsoever, Carlos and his two assistants have simply vanished. He has twice missed Monday, his scheduled day to work at the house. The first time it happened was brushed aside. Perhaps he was ill. When the second Monday passed without seeing Carlos and his crew, we became concerned. Calls to his telephone number first went unanswered, then were met with a full mailbox notification . A visit to a neighbor on an adjoining street who had also become one of Carlos' clients was met with a similar story. "We don't know what happened to him. We're worried." A man, his livelihood and his American dream are all as though they never existed.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100220045610
The lengths they will go to make stuff up. What DUmmie can afford a Gardner?
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If he was an illegal who committed other crimes and was deported, good riddance. If he was an illegal who did not commit other crimes but self-deported,
(https://i.imgflip.com/3phg8z.jpg)
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This "Latin" gardener whose real name is Pete, is actually in court ordered rehab. :stoner:
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This "Latin" gardener whose real name is Pete, is actually in court ordered rehab. :stoner:
Is there a recognized rehab program for cum guzzlers? :confused:
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:sosad: :sosad: :sosad: :violinwhack: That was a great story. Maybe you should go on CNN and tell it. :rotf: :lmao:
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Damn! Too bad your gardener did not enter the country legally.
This issue is easily avoided.
Oh well.
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Damn! Too bad your gardener did not enter the country legally.
This issue is easily avoided.
Oh well.
That’s 3 more jobs for Americans, all the lawn services in my area are American
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He speaks Latin?
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Everyone knows that DUmmies don't share their 'garden' with anyone.
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If he was an illegal who committed other crimes and was deported, good riddance. If he was an illegal who did not commit other crimes but self-deported,
(https://i.imgflip.com/3phg8z.jpg)
Beat me too posting that picture. I was told by a manager at the Mall I work at that they have noticed a large drop in the number of their Latino customers since ICE started going after the gang bangers. I looked around the store from the front entry way and I noticed it to. But it was a Wednesday and it's not that busy a day to start with at the mall.
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Now he’s doing gardening work at Gitmo :rotf:
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I'm going to generously award this bouncy one full bong. The prose was well written, but a touch hackneyed to the point they were composing it for days.
Of course it can't rank any higher because it didn't begin with "so", no conversion, cops jumping out of bushes (although sort of since "Carlos" disappeared"), nor massive applause.
And it was almost as if this was written around the overly dramatic last statement: A man, his livelihood and his American dream are all as though they never existed. That was absolutely Wee Willie Pitt-esc and eminently puke-worthy.
A fine attempt, perhaps you can improve your bouncy skills.
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Interesting how many posters over there (including the very first response) are questioning the veracity of this tale. Apparently even some of them can detect a bouncy if it gets too close to the plot line of a Univision novella. But it did make me wonder if PeaceWave ever said "Hola, Pedro! Es mi, Ben Dayho!".
For those who might not get the reference: https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=60739.0 (https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=60739.0)