The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on September 12, 2008, 04:34:15 PM

Title: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 12, 2008, 04:34:15 PM
Quote
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       Fri Sep-12-08 05:04 PM
Original message
I want to buy some stock....
Need some suggestions on how I should do so. I have never bought stock in my life either.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3985166
Quote
mikelgb (1000+ posts)      Fri Sep-12-08 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. I think it has the same rules as roulette:
Always bet on Black...

Quote
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       Fri Sep-12-08 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. But where can I go to buy the stock?

Quote
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       Fri Sep-12-08 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. I have Edward Jones...
but that do not deal with Stocks.


You may remember that old TV commercial, "When the DUmp speaks, people listen."

As the DUmmies say all the time, "OMFG!"

This guy is as pathetic as stevenumbers sniffing after a woman.


Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 12, 2008, 04:38:34 PM
It's according to what market he wants to corner. I'd suggest "Bud" for the rednecks and "Clot 45" or "Cobra" for the "other". ...in other words diversify.
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: Carl on September 12, 2008, 04:40:21 PM
Dear DUmmy,

Send me all your money.
I will invest it in a bunch of quality stocks known as "pinks".

My commision is 85% but you will get 10 times that in return.

Trust me. :-)
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: jukin on September 12, 2008, 04:41:13 PM
You know this guy may be pretty smart.  I used to have a client and when he said left you had a 99% chance of being in the money if you went right.
 :-)
This is a thread I may actually keep an eye on.
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: LC EFA on September 12, 2008, 05:06:12 PM
Quote
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       Fri Sep-12-08 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. But where can I go to buy the stock?

*snort* BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Now THAT is funny.

Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: miskie on September 12, 2008, 05:20:08 PM
Quote from: and-justice-for-all
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       
Fri Sep-12-08 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. But where can I go to buy the stock?

Id suggest your local mom and pop stock store, if they are still in business. Otherwise you might need to find your way to your neighborhood Stockmart , even though I know you DUmmies just hate the "Big Stocks" kind of stores since they are all owned and run by Evil rethugglikkkans who pay their employees minimum wage and penny stocks, while the Fat cats at the top line their pockets with AT&T.
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: LC EFA on September 12, 2008, 05:39:45 PM
Quote from: and-justice-for-all
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       
Fri Sep-12-08 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. But where can I go to buy the stock?

Id suggest your local mom and pop stock store, if they are still in business. Otherwise you might need to find your way to your neighborhood Stockmart , even though I know you DUmmies just hate the "Big Stocks" kind of stores since they are all owned and run by Evil rethugglikkkans who pay their employees minimum wage and penny stocks, while the Fat cats at the top line their pockets with AT&T.

 :rotf: :clap:
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: Hawkgirl on September 12, 2008, 05:46:46 PM
Why bet on stocks when you can cash in BIG with FOREX!!  Go to FOREX dude!!  :lmao:
Title: Re: Savvy Investor Goes To The DUmp For Stock Tips
Post by: Chris_ on September 12, 2008, 05:58:14 PM
Quote
and-justice-for-all  (1000+ posts)       Fri Sep-12-08 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. But where can I go to buy the stock?

*snort* BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Now THAT is funny.



Stop on by -- I am sure I can help:

(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y5/freedumb2003/FD2003_StockAdvice.jpg)