The Conservative Cave
Current Events => General Discussion => Topic started by: Ralph Wiggum on February 02, 2024, 01:19:37 PM
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(https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/65bbcf63be74c65bbcf63be74d.jpg)
GAZA — Amidst an ongoing conflict between Hamas and Israel, residents of Gaza banded together Thursday to vote for a ceasefire in Chicago, a city they say is an absolute war zone.
"We are appalled by the endless violence in Chicago. How can anyone live there?" declared Gaza resident Ahmed Al-Astal Abu Al-Najjar. "We must add our voice to the growing number of people demanding peace in this war-torn American city."
According to reports, there were 2,450 shootings in The Windy City in 2023 alone. "You'd be crazy to live in Chicago," Al-Najjar reiterated, shaking his head. "I don't care how good they say their pizza is."
"All of these deaths could have been prevented if only the Chicago government would get their act together," Gaza resident Muhammad Mahmoud Muhammad Musa said as he voted in support of the resolution calling for a Chicago ceasefire.
The text of the resolution calls for a permanent ceasefire in Chicago, humanitarian assistance, and for its citizens to immediately convert to Islam or die.
At publishing time, the Chicago city council had attempted to sign a resolution calling for ceasefire in Gaza, but the vote was interrupted by a drive-by shooting.
While it BEE prescient, not long after this post look at what happened in Chicago (https://babylonbee.com/news/gaza-votes-for-ceasefire-in-chicago)
After 2nd shooting outside a Chicago high school within a week, concerned parents, city officials seek solutions
CHICAGO — As students returned to Senn High School on Thursday, safety was first and foremost on the minds of parents.
The students were back in school just one day after a Senn student was killed and two others were injured in a shooting after class got out Wednesday afternoon near the school, a Chicago Public Schools institution located in the Edgewater neighborhood on the city’s North Side.
Wednesday’s incident marked the second shooting outside a Chicago high school in less than a week after two students were killed Friday outside Innovations High School, a charter school in the Loop.
https://wgntv.com/news/chicagocrime/after-2nd-shooting-outside-chicago-high-school-within-a-week-concerned-parents-city-officials-seek-solutions/
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So this is the only one of the three B posts that did not fool me today. Cause the other two are entirely too realistic, while Gaza is too busy getting bombed to hold an election, and would never call for an end to violence anywhere.