The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: landofconfusion80 on October 01, 2022, 03:28:04 PM
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Since my oujia board is currently tuned into the spirit of the late Mr. Pitt, he has requested an AMA (ask me anything) for you fine people. He appears to be just as tasteless and awful in the afterlife.
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Anything I might possibly ask the damned soul of The Pittster, I could probably get better, more coherent answers to by asking our resident fictional spirit guide, Flippydoo.
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Anything I might possibly ask the damned soul of The Pittster, I could probably get better, more coherent answers to by asking our resident fictional spirit guide, Flippydoo.
I inquired about the late Mr. Pitts adjusting to his new surroundings. He is very excited to be in company with equal intellects such as Mao, Castro, Lenin, Marx and Stalin. He is also confused as to how a fascist Hitler somehow made it into his heaven. He also tells me that he is handcuffed to a homeless person named Bobo. This person is permanently frozen to a park bench and it goes wherever this individual goes.
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I inquired about the late Mr. Pitts adjusting to his new surroundings. He is very excited to be in company with equal intellects such as Mao, Castro, Lenin, Marx and Stalin. He is also confused as to how a fascist Hitler somehow made it into his heaven. He also tells me that he is handcuffed to a homeless person named Bobo. This person is permanently frozen to a park bench and it goes wherever this individual goes.
Ahh. So, similar to the Hell that Jacob Marley has to endure in The Christmas Carol?
Does Pitt-stain have any plans to visit any living DUmp-monkeys? Ya know, to scare them into changing their ways?
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Ahh. So, similar to the Hell that Jacob Marley has to endure in The Christmas Carol?
Does Pitt-stain have any plans to visit any living DUmp-monkeys? Ya know, to scare them into changing their ways?
I got some very concerned looks when I opened up the ouija board in the middle of church, but this is for very important reasons. As to contacting other primitives, Mr. Pitts has met with a Hindu diety that has assured him he is eligible to participate in reincarnation. He had a scant few options as to what he came back as. He didn't appreciate the swine choice as that was too close to capitalist pigs and the law enforcement community. He is really particular. When it's his turn, he has decided to come back as a chicken and live his life in a junk suburban somewhere in Chicago. He appears to have thought out his plan to some extent
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I got some very concerned looks when I opened up the ouija board in the middle of church, but this is for very important reasons. As to contacting other primitives, Mr. Pitts has met with a Hindu diety that has assured him he is eligible to participate in reincarnation. He had a scant few options as to what he came back as. He didn't appreciate the swine choice as that was too close to capitalist pigs and the law enforcement community. He is really particular. When it's his turn, he has decided to come back as a chicken and live his life in a junk suburban somewhere in Chicago. He appears to have thought out his plan to some extent
:lmao:
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Ahh. So, similar to the Hell that Jacob Marley has to endure in The Christmas Carol?
Does Pitt-stain have any plans to visit any living DUmp-monkeys? Ya know, to scare them into changing their ways?
I expect a visit to Omaha Steve is in order to inquire why his vial of Steve's perpetual life sustaining blood did not arrive in time. Probably used the USPS and they were already too busy throwing away mail in votes. :lmao:
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I might be curious whether The Pittster plans to continue to vote Dim'Ratearly and often strictly in the precinct in which his whiskey-soaked carcass assumed room temperature, or will he be lending his name to "Get Out The Vote" drives EVERYWHERE the great and powerful Dominion Vote Tabulator of Plenty says it needs him...
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I might be curious whether The Pittster plans to continue to vote Dim'Ratearly and often strictly in the precinct in which his whiskey-soaked carcass assumed room temperature, or will he be lending his name to "Get Out The Vote" drives EVERYWHERE the great and powerful Dominion Vote Tabulator of Plenty says it needs him...
Mr. Pitt said he wanted to communicate immediately, so I pushed all of the fried chicken and mashed potatoes off the kitchen table to set up the ouija board. My wife is not amused at this point. Anyway... if anyone remembers, during one of the Iraq conflicts, the US military had a big plan. They were going to project an image of Mohammed onto the clouds above the middle east along with a recording urging the Iraqis to surrender. Mr. Pitt plans to do something similar in the weeks leading up to the midterm elections. He will somehow make his face appear above both Democrat and republican strongholds, one a GOTV message and the other urging voters to stay home. If they don't, cans of ravioli will rain from the sky. Mr. Pitt has grand ambitions in his walk to the Great beyond
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Anyway... if anyone remembers, during one of the Iraq conflicts, the US military had a big plan. They were going to project an image of Mohammed onto the clouds above the middle east along with a recording urging the Iraqis to surrender. Mr. Pitt plans to do something similar in the weeks leading up to the midterm elections.
I’m pretty sure I saw his image floating in a latrine at a WaWa.
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I’m pretty sure I saw his image floating in a latrine at a WaWa.
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That would explain the jaundiced skin tone, just as it was when he was living
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Could the non-corporeal mr. pitt perhaps explain and expand on the 'piece of shit used car salesman' comment, for lurking DUmmies and the like?
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Could the non-corporeal mr. pitt perhaps explain and expand on the 'piece of shit used car salesman' comment, for lurking DUmmies and the like?
This ouija board has become a bit of an obsession. The rantings of a recently alive lunatic flow from the board in a river of expletives and vulgar ramblings. Mr. Pitt has always wished to clarify his remarks about Obama and would have voted a 5th time for him given the chance. the POS comment should have been taken as PERSON OF SUBSTANCE and it was a rightwing smear campaign to interpret it differently. The moles of DU only served to stoke the flames of ignorance in this whole fiasco. Also, Mr. Pitt holds used car salesmen on a pedestal as they so easily persuade the people to drive only the finest pre-owned luxury vehicles.
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I got some very concerned looks when I opened up the ouija board in the middle of church, but this is for very important reasons. As to contacting other primitives, Mr. Pitts has met with a Hindu diety that has assured him he is eligible to participate in reincarnation. He had a scant few options as to what he came back as. He didn't appreciate the swine choice as that was too close to capitalist pigs and the law enforcement community. He is really particular. When it's his turn, he has decided to come back as a chicken and live his life in a junk suburban somewhere in Chicago. He appears to have thought out his plan to some extent
I first thought he would come back as a cockroach but then I realized that means he would be reincarnated in situ.