The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on September 04, 2008, 07:53:20 AM
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A man addicted to masturbation and flashing coffee makers has thanked police for catching him saying he needs a hand to stop.
The Washington State man, 20, said he was addicted to fondling himself at drive-thru espresso stands and exposing himself to baristas.
But when finally caught he told police he was happy officers finally caught up with him.
'Thank you for catching me. I need to stop and I can't do it alone,' the man allegedly told police.
Since February at least seven baristas have reported that the man exposed himself when he drove up to their stands.
His weekly flashings finished on May 23 after the man hit two espresso stands in Monroe.
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link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Coffee_masturbator_tells_police_he_needs_a_hand_to_stop&in_article_id=292295&in_page_id=2)
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He really needs to get a grip on himself.
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He really needs to get a grip on himself.
I hope the message will now filter through to him.
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He really needs to get a grip on himself.
I hope the message will now filter through to him.
I wonder if he was also yelling "Im starbuck naked!" as he did it.
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He really needs to get a grip on himself.
I hope the message will now filter through to him.
I wonder if he was also yelling "Im starbuck naked!" as he did it.
:lmao:
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He really needs to get a grip on himself.
I hope the message will now filter through to him.
I wonder if he was also yelling "Im starbuck naked!" as he did it.
:lmao:
Sorry, bad pun I know but it was just too obvious to pass up. :thatsright:
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Ahh, he's just a regular JOE. Sounds like his problem has been BREWING for a while.
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I guess his habits will GRIND to a halt.........
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A man addicted to masturbation and flashing coffee makers has thanked police for catching him saying he needs a hand to stop.
The Washington State man, 20, said he was addicted to fondling himself at drive-thru espresso stands and exposing himself to baristas.
But when finally caught he told police he was happy officers finally caught up with him.
'Thank you for catching me. I need to stop and I can't do it alone,' the man allegedly told police.
Since February at least seven baristas have reported that the man exposed himself when he drove up to their stands.
His weekly flashings finished on May 23 after the man hit two espresso stands in Monroe.
...
link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Coffee_masturbator_tells_police_he_needs_a_hand_to_stop&in_article_id=292295&in_page_id=2)
Sounds like the police have sufficient grounds for his arrest.
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They should be sure to FILTER all the perverts out of society. I hope they ROAST this guy. Okthxby...it has BEAN fun. :uhsure: :-)
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They should be sure to FILTER all the perverts out of society. I hope they ROAST this guy. Okthxby...it has BEAN fun. :uhsure: :-)
I love the way you were able to blend so many puns together in one sentence.
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I'm wondering if the coffee PERKED him up ?!?!?!? He's obviously the DREGS of society.......
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Poor guy. We need to look at this through his filter. This trouble has probably been brewing his whole life. He is obviously weak. He's a basket case. His life has not been all sweet cream and sugar. He has grounds for a defense.
Or he could have just switched to decaf.
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Did he spill the beans?
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Just whipping up his own cream for the coffee. ....and he needs two lumps, not one.
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The first time I read that he was exposing himself to 'coffee makers' I wasnt thinking of baristas I had this mental image of him standing in front a big shiny chrome coffee urn style coffee maker with his trench coat held open. :banghead:
(http://www.pinataworld.net/images/36%20cup%20urn.jpg)
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They should be sure to FILTER all the perverts out of society. I hope they ROAST this guy. Okthxby...it has BEAN fun. :uhsure: :-)
I love the way you were able to blend so many puns together in one sentence.
Was he from Java? :-)