The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 06:35:14 PM

Title: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 06:35:14 PM
So dinnertime's here.  How I love to cook dinner!  Tonight I am making fajitas!  Ole'!

So, I almost always use a poblano pepper in my fajitas.  They are not too hot, most of the time, and they do add some spice. 

So, I was in the kitchen de-ribbing and seeding a poblano pepper when I got an urgent call from nature.  Yes, I had to tinkle-dink BAD.

So, I finish my pepper preparation and hit a fast stride (for me, anyway) to the hallway powder bath.  On the way, I rub my itchy right eye.

So, after exiting the hallway powder bath and making my way back to the kitchen....boom!  My right eye is on fire!  Great Caesar's Ghost it burned.  I bent over the sink and started washing my eye with soap....that's how bad it burned.  Soap felt better.

So, while I was bent over the sink...TINGLE!  My my tinky-dinker started feeling odd down there in my shorts....and then BOOM!


So, the moral to this story is:  Always wash your hands after handling peppers, especially if you have itchy eyes and a urgent need to go tinkle-dink.

THE END.

(We coulda had hot dogs)
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Chris_ on August 25, 2008, 06:39:35 PM
At your age you didn't know the result of capsaicin  + privates?

Color me surprised (really!)

Ladies, I suspect it such an interaction would be worse.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 06:43:16 PM
At your age you didn't know the result of capsaicin  + privates?

Color me surprised (really!)

Ladies, I suspect it such an interaction would be worse.


Let's call it a momentary lapse of judgement. 
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: BEG on August 25, 2008, 06:43:49 PM
Sounds like something I would do....that is if I had a penis.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: DixieBelle on August 25, 2008, 06:45:53 PM
Thank goodness you weren't using habaneros. I'm still not over that little episode.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Schadenfreude on August 25, 2008, 06:45:58 PM
Sounds like something I would do....that is if I had a penis.

no comment!  :uhsure:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: dutch508 on August 25, 2008, 06:47:03 PM
Sounds like something I would do....that is if I had a penis.

You can borrow mine. I'm not using it right at the moment.

 :naughty:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 06:48:30 PM
Thank goodness you weren't using habaneros. I'm still not over that little episode.

I would have been wearing gloves and that would have reminded me of the pending wiener roast.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 06:49:42 PM
Sounds like something I would do....that is if I had a penis.

You can borrow mine. I'm not using it right at the moment.

 :naughty:

"Do you ever use it right?"   :rimshot:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Schadenfreude on August 25, 2008, 06:50:16 PM
Oh Undies, I am laughing through tears.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: DixieBelle on August 25, 2008, 06:50:41 PM
Thank goodness you weren't using habaneros. I'm still not over that little episode.

I would have been wearing gloves and that would have reminded me of the pending wiener roast.
well, live and learn. :-) Did you know that stuff has hang time? I made the mistake of touching the chair I was sitting in and it stayed in the fabric. I touched it again days later and rubbed my eye and nearly died all over again. Them's the debil peppers.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: bijou on August 25, 2008, 07:16:29 PM
Haha.  Sorry to hear about that Undies.   But good to know that CCers can make our own weird news, when are you moving to Florida?  :rotf:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 09:06:59 PM
OK.  It finally quit burning.   :beer:
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: jinxmchue on August 25, 2008, 10:58:37 PM
Oh, man.  And I thought getting soap up yer Urethra Franklin was bad.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Tantal on August 25, 2008, 11:03:38 PM
I had the same thing happen when I was a rookie. Drunken bar fight....everybody hosed down with OC (oleoresin capsicum) gas. Fight continues, and my hands are covered in it. Get suspects to jail for booking. Once the adrenaline wore off, my back teeth were floatin'. So, I'm about halfway through an Austin Powers whizz when it suddenly feels like someone's holding a butane torch under the twig n' berries. For the record, OC gas lasts for about an hour......then fires up again when you take a shower.
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: Lord Undies on August 25, 2008, 11:10:53 PM
I had the same thing happen when I was a rookie. Drunken bar fight....everybody hosed down with OC (oleoresin capsicum) gas. Fight continues, and my hands are covered in it. Get suspects to jail for booking. Once the adrenaline wore off, my back teeth were floatin'. So, I'm about halfway through and Austin Powers whizz when it suddenly feels like someone's holding a butane torch under the twig n' berries. For the record, OC gas lasts for about an hour......then fires up again when you take a shower.

You're lucky you have just twigs and berries.  It was REALLY painful for a guy like me.   :-)
Title: Re: Calling Bijou! Today's Penis Story!
Post by: RobJohnson on August 26, 2008, 12:28:31 AM
A few years ago I did not realize that I had an exposure to posion oak, until after I had urinated. I woke up the next morning in alot of pain.

I blew a whole week of vacation time healing...had it all over my arms, legs, face and groin.