The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on October 09, 2018, 09:55:53 AM
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https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211258607
Oh my.
jodymarie aimee (3,166 posts) Tue Oct 9, 2018, 09:51 AM
Selling dryer Buyer says he can get it out if I help **** it I pick up a side Then I see look on his
SaraSuze @tragedythyme
A quick reminder for men: Common events for you can turn into really scary situations for women in a snap.
Case in point: This week I listed a clothes dryer on the Letgo app. Because it was a dryer, a neutral meeting location was impractical. I needed it taken out of my house.
To try to stay safe, I decided to only allow people to pick it up after 5 when my husband would be home. But a guy who works nights asked if he could come in the am instead; I said yes as long as you're here before husband leaves for work.
The next morning, buyer isn't here before husband leaves. I message and tell him not to come. He shows up 15 min later. In addition to being late, he has no dolly or help, despite the ad saying the dryer was in a basement & you'd have to remove yourself.
He says he will come back with help, I say after 5 would be great. He then asks if he could just see it real quick before coming back and bringing someone over, in case he doesn't want it. So, now I have a decision to make.
I quickly try to assess my likelihood of danger, as every woman has done so, so many times. It's instinct. First, what's his age? Late 60s, early 70s. He's tall but thin. Wearing a wedding ring. Hasn't smiled at me strangely or looked at me for too long. I make a judgment call.
Feeling like he's more likely to be safe than unsafe, and feeling badly about not letting him see the dryer, I invite him in. Once in the basement, he's POSITIVE he can get it out with just a LITTLE help he says, looking at me. **** it. I pick up a side.
Walk to the stairs is fine. We're sharing the work. With each stair, I'm feeling more and more of the weight. I'm sweating. Heaving. Pissed. Halfway up the stairs and it feels like he's doing NOTHING.
And then I see it. The look on his face.
He's staring at me, hard. Right in the eyes, sly smile on his lips. My hair is matted to my forehead. I can't get a comfortable grip. I'm just about to ask him what's going on - is he even lifting? - when he starts to speak.
"Damn, girl. Look at you. Man, those thighs. Put em to work, huh? That sweat looks good on you. Workin thighs like that, I bet your husband is a happy man. C'mon, show me what you got." I was mortified. And I'm realizing I can't get out. He & a dryer I'm lifting are blocking me.
So I do what women do, lower my eyes, pretend to laugh a little, start lifting faster. The comments and staring hey worse but I try to block them out. As soon as I am free of the basement I walk straight past him to my phone, wait 5 seconds, and say, "honey, the buyer is here!"
And wanna guess what happened? He left without buying it. Was this guy going murder me? Probably not. But I'm not sure. Am I pissed I had to worry about being murdered in my own home because grandpa creeper likes sweaty women? Yeah. ****er.
The point - other than my being pissed and wanting to tell people - is that events like this, even when we come out ok, take an emotional toll. I was scared. He left more and more of the weight on me & watched me squirm. And now I have one more "thing" that I have to worry about.
So men, if you want to be allies, then recognizing that assault is bad is just the minimum. For every sexual assault, there are thousands of events that don't lead to violence but which scare the shit out of us, especially after our "assessment" turns out to have been wrong.
And obviously, if you ever are in a woman's home alone, whether during a service call or an online sale like this, accept if she's home alone, she's likely done the assessment. Respect her space, don't do gross shit. The basics. Please.
UPDATE: This man just showed up at my house. It's 10pm. Husband answered doorbell, drunk guy mumbles "wrong house" & goes back to his truck. I looked out the window and saw it was him. Tomorrow I'll be here alone with my 4yo while my husband is at work. Terrified in my own house.
UPDATE 2: called the police, they were VERY helpful & said I'm in a great spot for rotating cars to sit outside as much as they can tomorrow. Going to see about taking my little one & spending the day at a friend's house tomorrow just in case. Thank you to everyone for support.
A final comment about this: when I was stuck on the steps with that dryer & he was saying that disgusting shit, I just wanted to escape. I was scared but was calculating how to get out of the situation. Later, as I typed up this story, my fear had given way to rage & disgust.
And then tonight, when he came back, any fantasies I may have harbored earlier while I was typing this story about telling him to **** off, leave me alone, etc - ALL of those disappeared immediately. I saw him and felt nothing but terror. This wasn't a man who'd physically hurt me. He didn't rape me. Never even touched n me, in fact. He just said gross shit as I struggled with a heavy appliance. Not that it was nothing, but in the grand scheme of things, my experience was nothing compared to the evil shit people do to each other every day. And yet what I felt when I saw him tonight was nothing short of terror. I will never, ever, be one of those movie heroines who seeks revenge and stands up for herself to teach the bad guy a lesson. I'm the girl who starts crying & shaking so badly she can't say the words "that's him" clearly
And if I'm being honest, I'm ashamed of that. For all my marching and fist-waving and dreams about screaming at bastards like Kavenaugh in some restaurant one day, the truth is that in the moment, I crumbled. I cried when I typed this update & when I called the police.
The rage that I felt earlier when I told this story hay not have been productive, but it felt good. I enjoyed thinking that this rage would protect & strengthen me if this ever happened again. But then when he showed up, that rage turned to mist. Nothing had changed in me. There was no newfound bravery or empowerment, no matter how much I wanted it to be so. And that's ok. I know it is ok to be scared.
But I could've lived without having my fantasy disproven so quickly. It was warm & made me feel good about myself, and I'll miss it. So, attention you asshole from letgo. It wasn't enough that you said those things & trapped me in my house & scared me & that my back is killing me now from holding that thing & moving it so fast. It wasn't enough that I'd never felt scared on my house before you showed up here tonight.
On top of all of that, you also took from me any hope that I would be one of those women who could turn fear to strength. I'm not one. But I would've liked to believe I was, & you took that from me, too. And damn it, **** you for that, whoever you are. Just please, please don't come back.
NEXT DAY UPDATE: To all of the men on here pointing out what I did wrong to bring this on myself, please know I am taking articulate notes with your suggestions and cannot wait to follow your instructions and enjoy my new life of extreme safety
Also, lots more was said/done during the event that was utterly disgusting that I didn't discuss in detail here in order to avoid triggering others. Because that is yet another thing that women do instinctively to protect themselves and one another.
To the men who have reached out and told me they're listening to their wives & believing that this happens to them EVERY DAY - your stories warm my heart.
And to the male allies on here standing up to other men while also seeking to improve yourselves - I ****ing see and love you.
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Thank you for posting this, Frank. People need to remember there's more to life than tribe.
You're a good soul, Frank Solich. Knew it the first day I met you on the internet. And thanks again for welcoming me to your fine, sane forum.
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Long read but basically the dishwasher is selling a dryer.
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"And I'm realizing I can't get out. He & a dryer I'm lifting are blocking me."
:rotf: :lmao: :rotf:
I'm only laughing because it sounds like when they were bringing the dryer up the stairs he was going up first and had her on the bottom carrying most of the weight.
.
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She has lots of cool stories.
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?action=search2
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Scratch one flattop...
Response to Merlot (Reply #23)
Tue Oct 9, 2018, 11:47 AM
Star Member still_one (59,013 posts)
43. It is advice I do myself. But that's fine. I have been accussed of "victimizing" the OP, which is
LIE, and was just giving precautions that I do myself
but I will make everyone happy here. As a long time member, lifetime Democrat, pro-choice, pro-labor, pro-gayrights, etc. etc. etc as though I have to justify myself
I am outta here.
Wish you all well, and yeah I hope the door hits my ass on the way out
Thanks again
Goodbye DUmmy still_one!
Then....
Hello DUmmy still_one!
Response to cwydro (Reply #51)
Tue Oct 9, 2018, 12:01 PM
Star Member still_one (59,013 posts)
52. Thanks cwydro. I need a break from here, and everything else going on right now anyway
DUmmy still_one comes back for a final curtain call!
Response to SunSeeker (Reply #45)
Tue Oct 9, 2018, 11:57 AM
Star Member still_one (59,013 posts)
50. This is my last post here, and I am gone. I was giving advice that I give for myself, but instead
people are accusing me of "victimizing", which is not what I was doing
I well self-delete the post, and then I am out of here
Last post folks!
:tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
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Two words for this situation:
Smith
Wesson
My wife stays at home while I am away at work and this sort of thing has NEVER happened (much less daily).
And if the author is standard-issue DUipo then she is probably not worth hitting on.
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Hum, is this the loon?
https://www.facebook.com/spcitytimes/photos/ms.c.eJxFVEmOxEAI~_9GIffn~;x0ZQMX3IBRGXbQwi0alk0ckVKn~_yBaUtaH4FCeNObtL8OlwstKyEv47KKbjlFSy30IVfNAeUDR1dts~_24dlY0C5GwVnJOeJ~_SVNyIQWo9GJofRhiSfNspX8FIR~;qlvoVfGC4mQIdEqEVzA213KvWG6~;w8igCD1cfHpaJwmppghZxG1DPBqh3b8G~_Z9WeyQKTlcOng4sgv23lM9SS~_jpm0CI5JgfFdZQMhoQCVPYXdxRIdDH8DFrXg~_C6iNMWGh0WNOLkeLDG~_pGwMHypR4M6Ue2g6ObCO4YfMSsdDBeYrOk7~;Tz59uSfOO5agwyuF6~_nLvCUeT31QHDTZHgIQKWapsCCjtKNFCdeMZHlITA5deRXWyGFPvmoRGCU6bmOuahT7XrcvohP6MrAVDR3o5SgRWMyJuGXdVu12tchby6CuejubSv2VlR1C3YdtLHUxBikcguNFaNeYl6wkJZYxRFLerM1zMX67f4xHXPmC5icvhnrY~;r88PNDHob~;MFzWD3Y49hbZfoucsfejGdRFXxyO6cargpF14czxtBQY~;Ez~_Pcu2BrnCoKLVUhcYj51tFkBb36UDD7F6WnCl1LyX~_nkqMueCs8C05WHIjcFXi1xHvqz7ZT1WnMeJi9jgqt0tnHk7JwYlWjq~;NLZBTXfYYpfC3ksneacvd6Mi0GFW26G3QLGgVgid6dts038LEEoy.bps.a.2269721036386242.1073742031.304389376252761/2269734833051529/?type=3&theater
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SaraSuze@tragedythyme
Ex-lawyer. Currently still an asshole. My favs/RTs of porn gifs are all accidental.
Maybe she should have cops hiding in the bushes for when he inevitably returned?
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Maybe she should have cops hiding in the bushes for when he inevitably returned?
Well, I liked this one...
Today for my husband's birthday I'm going to splurge and spend $200 hiring myself to give him a blow job
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Well, I liked this one...
For $200 bucks she better have false teeth.
KC
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For $200 bucks she better have false teeth.
KC
Have false teeth or, not have teeth? which did you mean?
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She makes a series of bad decisions and it is someone else's fault.
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Have false teeth or, not have teeth? which did you mean?
Teeth that fold back, would be better.
KC
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Twitter user Sara Suze
Well, apparently she broke it all up and spammed it out on Twitter, then a clickbait site spammed it out on FB with their own blathery additions and lots of ads.