The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: mamacags on August 10, 2008, 09:35:36 PM
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So I ran out of the room. Then I came back in a few minutes later and he asked again. So I said "Hold on a minute." And then I ran out of the room. He is having a friend sleep over tonight and I really don't want to have "THE TALK" with both of them (even though the other kid's parents probably wouldn't care I can't ask them right now.). They are both 9. Any advice? I told them before that a Trojan is to keep from catching diseases when you are smooching girls and stuff. They saw a box of trojans on a commercial. I would hand it over to my hubby but I think he might give my son more details than a 9 year old would ever need to know. :-)
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Sorry -- it is time for "the talk."
The liberals have stolen childhood wholesale. Unless you want to start one of those compounds where the girls and boys dress like "Little House On the Prairie," you might as well face it and deal with it.
It sucks how kids can't be kids very long. The Boomers pretty much ruined childhood.
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I have no advice....
ask them why they are still up, then tell them to get their azzes into bed. :p
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Sorry -- it is time for "the talk."
The liberals have stolen childhood wholesale. Unless you want to start one of those compounds where the girls and boys dress like "Little House On the Prairie," you might as well face it and deal with it.
It sucks how kids can't be kids very long. The Boomers pretty much ruined childhood.
I think my mom was relieved that Lisa Swanson (5th grade peer) told me everything I needed to know. :-)
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I was just hoping he would eventually go into the army and they would tell him all of it. :-) We are going on a 4 hour road trip on Wed. I think in the car, where I don't have to look at him and he can't escape would be the perfect time. In fact I might just wait and get his sister in on the discussion too. She is going into 5th grade and is still clueless so far. May as well get it over with at one time instead of having to squirm twice. They are never going to look at me and hubby the same! :bawl: Ohhhhh maybe I will take that time to explain to them that they were both left by storks or adopted too! That solves that problem!
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Remember the good ole days when we just called'em rubbers? :-)
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I was just hoping he would eventually go into the army and they would tell him all of it. :-) We are going on a 4 hour road trip on Wed. I think in the car, where I don't have to look at him and he can't escape would be the perfect time.
:lmao: I just watched an episode of Rescue Me; about having "the talk" while in a car driving... so you don't have to look at each other... can't escape... can't get too awkward since you're also driving, etc.
Regardless of where you have it, good luck
I should seriously tape it so I can play it at their weddings. :rotf:
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Whatever you do, don't talk to them together!!!!!! It's mortifying enough for kids to have their parents talk to them about sex. You will scar them both in different ways. She's a girl and he's a boy. I would have curled up and died if my mom had told me and my brother about sex at the same time! She sat both of us down at different times and told us what we needed to know.
This is also not the time to get squeamish. Be clinical, factual and as unemotional as you can. My almost 11 year old has asked questions along the way and we've had a few "talks". So far so good!
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I was just hoping he would eventually go into the army and they would tell him all of it. :-) We are going on a 4 hour road trip on Wed. I think in the car, where I don't have to look at him and he can't escape would be the perfect time. In fact I might just wait and get his sister in on the discussion too. She is going into 5th grade and is still clueless so far. May as well get it over with at one time instead of having to squirm twice. They are never going to look at me and hubby the same! :bawl: Ohhhhh maybe I will take that time to explain to them that they were both left by storks or adopted too! That solves that problem!
Ok, as someone who has done this, rest assured they won't dwell on this. Usually their interest, at this age, is fleeting. Discuss it, don't put it in context of you and their father, and move on. And your daughter should have a seperate discussion, hon. She really needs to be aware that she'll have a period at some point, if she doesn't already. My daughter is also going in 5th grade and we've discussed that already. It was sort of a necessity though since her grandmother started at 9 so I didn't want her having a 'surprise' like I did. And if its any consolation, I actually did not like the fact my parents told me nothing. If this is a big area for you to impart influence, and I know it is, then don't give up that influence to people in school. You can have a moral and context discussion while discussing the nuts and bolts to them.
I agree with Dixie too...seperate discussions.
Free, this has nothing to do with liberals. My daughter asked because she said her brothers had 'bean sacks' and asked what all that was about. :rotf: She was also mildly curious about periods. Childrens are ultimately equipped to biologically reproduce like their parents when they are older. That's a reality. You can either acknowledge that and equip them with the knowledge they need so that Suzie jr high doesn't misinform them or the first boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't have undue influence or you can pretend that they are asexual. I choose the first option since the second is not based in reality and quite frankly if liberal sexual values are a concern, then you should be trying to impart something else well before they run into the liberal bastions of MTV or online for advice.
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Whatever you do, don't talk to them together!!!!!! It's mortifying enough for kids to have their parents talk to them about sex. You will scar them both in different ways. She's a girl and he's a boy. I would have curled up and died if my mom had told me and my brother about sex at the same time! She sat both of us down at different times and told us what we needed to know.
This is also not the time to get squeamish. Be clinical, factual and as unemotional as you can. My almost 11 year old has asked questions along the way and we've had a few "talks". So far so good!
yep, no squeamishness mama! Woman, you dealt with cat puke in your van...you can do this!!! :cheersmate:
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I think when I was in 5th grade....I got to see "The Movie".....all the little girls in my class AND OUR MOTHERS!!!!
We all had to stay after school and our mothers came in and we watched a movie that was all about our bodies....having periods, babies, etc. It was mortifying. It seems girls are starting younger now, I have several friends who have daughters/granddaughters that started at 9/10
You really need to talk to them separately. Your daughter will be embarassed if you talk to her in front of her brother, and it will be like talking to a wall.
I talked to my daughter, but chickened out with my son....I let my ex do it. (we were still married at the time).
My son didn't ask about condoms ....I don't think the commercials were on tv yet when he was that age. I found a Victoria's Secret catalog in his room under the bed....figured it was time for the talk. ::). I think he was about 9.
You really don't have to get too specific when you first start the "talks"....the kids have a short attention span.
What 'til your daughter comes home and tells you someone she knows at school is pregnant and the discussion that involves! Mine was in 9th grade and I was on the board of directors of a home for unwed mothers ....with the girl's mother!!! That discussion was really tough. It when the whole range from keeping the baby, teen marriage, adoption, abortion, protection and abstinence. She tells me this while I'm driving.....I almost ran off the road.
And to think, you thought getting up for 2AM feedings were tough! :uhsure:
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My kids both know all about periods and stuff. We have covered everything up to the actual sex talk. My son will even freely talk about tampons, and he spends wayyyyyyyyy too much time telling me about his nuts and stuff. :thatsright: My kids are really close in age and think a lot alike. I honestly don't think my daughter would care for a second if we all had the talk at the same time. My kids are very used to me mortifying them at this point. :-) It barely even phases them.
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Better they find out from you than Britney Spears and the rest of the MTV generation.
Oh, and while you're at it, make sure you're not having the discussion if you see this sign:
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2226/1992802926_77655f2b1a.jpg?v=0)
Yes, it's real. Farmington, New Mexico. Down the road from the hotel most of us stayed in for our 20th HS reunion. No, I lived on the north end of town at the time. This is on Bloomfield Hwy.
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Easy, just buy a farm, tell'em the milk cow is in season and the dog is in heat, you watch the cow and you watch the Dog.
At 7 or 8 daddy used to tell me to watch the milk cow. He'd say, "Make sure the bull gets to her". Like what am I supposed to do, pick'im up and drop him on the cow ...repeatedly or something. Momma worried about her milk cow. And then there was the old, "It's that time again. Keep them dogs away from your old hound." Now you tell me how you do that without a pen. ....and then he'd say, get this, "Don't you let some little girl get you in trouble BOY!" Let her, let her you say, hell I was doing all I could to talk her into it.......no luck....... :lmao:
Bought a few condoms outta service station bathrooms back then but don't remember really getting to use them for the intended purpose. We did however launch a few in some space experiments. We'd put some lead strips in a coke bottle, sprinkle in some 'red devil' lye, add water, cap bottle with a condom and when inflated, launch that sucker. Then we'd wait for all the little old ladies in the community to call the cops and demand they shoot it down........ :lmao:
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My kids both know all about periods and stuff. We have covered everything up to the actual sex talk. My son will even freely talk about tampons, and he spends wayyyyyyyyy too much time telling me about his nuts and stuff. :thatsright: My kids are really close in age and think a lot alike. I honestly don't think my daughter would care for a second if we all had the talk at the same time. My kids are very used to me mortifying them at this point. :-) It barely even phases them.
Well, of course we want to know just how badly they were mortified. We are kind of gawkers like that so we'll expect a full report. In all seriousness, good luck to you. Not an easy conversation for either party, but a necessary one. :cheersmate:
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So I ran out of the room. Then I came back in a few minutes later and he asked again. So I said "Hold on a minute." And then I ran out of the room. He is having a friend sleep over tonight and I really don't want to have "THE TALK" with both of them (even though the other kid's parents probably wouldn't care I can't ask them right now.). They are both 9. Any advice? I told them before that a Trojan is to keep from catching diseases when you are smooching girls and stuff. They saw a box of trojans on a commercial. I would hand it over to my hubby but I think he might give my son more details than a 9 year old would ever need to know. :-)
Just tell him they are really big finger cots! :-) Or really boring balloons! :-)
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I worked in a deli during high school. A guy came in with a finger cot on. I had never seen one and had no idea what it was. I was just shocked that some pervert came into the store with a tiny little condom on his finger and showed it to everyone.
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I worked in a deli during high school. A guy came in with a finger cot on. I had never seen one and had no idea what it was. I was just shocked that some pervert came into the store with a tiny little condom on his finger and showed it to everyone.
:lmao: I worked in a dentist office when I was first married....and that was the first time I saw a finger cot.....I thought the same thing!
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Do your kids like to read?
My mom bought a set of books about sex and boys vs girls. She just put them on the bookcase and I was curious and read them. We never had to have a talk. LOL
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Do your kids like to read?
My mom bought a set of books about sex and boys vs girls. She just put them on the bookcase and I was curious and read them. We never had to have a talk. LOL
My family had something similar. In the playroom at our old house, there was a large book case, and they placed this one particular book with a more medical view of the subject in it, and I found and read that on my own. I still have that book, in fact.
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Just leave a stash of porno mags in the woods behind the neighbor's house. I thought that's how everyone learned about sex.
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I don't want my son to think that all girls love anal, no girls have hair down there, and all butt holes are bright pretty pink thankyouverymuch. I don't want my daughter to get any ideas she can't think of on her own. I see wayyyyyyyy too much of me in her. :-)
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I don't want my son to think that all girls love anal, no girls have hair down there, and all butt holes are bright pretty pink thankyouverymuch. I don't want my daughter to get any ideas she can't think of on her own. I see wayyyyyyyy too much of me in her. :-)
What? You mean they don't? :o :-)
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
That and having to get out the ******* compressor 3 or 4 times a day! :-)
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
That and having to get out the ******* compressor 3 or 4 times a day! :-)
A few posts down in the thread link..I don't know, Toast...that's a pretty realistic(and hot)blow up doll standing next to you :evillaugh:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,112.120.html
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
That and having to get out the ******* compressor 3 or 4 times a day! :-)
:lmao:
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please oh please oh please let him say his power washer too!!!!!!!!!!! :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
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i hear those inner-tube repair kits can get pricey after a while.
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
That and having to get out the ******* compressor 3 or 4 times a day! :-)
A few posts down in the thread link..I don't know, Toast...that's a pretty realistic(and hot)blow up doll standing next to you :evillaugh:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,112.120.html
Yeah they make em pretty realistic these days! Just gotta figure out how she's gettin outta my closet and emptying my checking account :confused: :-) Thanks Jty :-*
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Sounds like time for "the talk" pretty soon. :( (far as I know)
I had the worst "talk" when I was a kid. :rotf:
It was 5th grade (I think) and they split up the girls and boys, got a little info and then we had to write a paper on the subject. It was me at the dinning room table with Dad over my shoulder (me sweating bullets) and literally taking dictation. Pure plagiarism! Most uncomfortable 20+ minutes of my young life.
Oh... and I got a "C". :lmao:
I'm sure you will do much better Mia! LOL
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please oh please oh please let him say his power washer too!!!!!!!!!!! :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
Only on fridays when the moon is full dear! :-)
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I never had "the talk". I had to learn it all from scrambled cable and soggy, dirt-covered porno mags.
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please oh please oh please let him say his power washer too!!!!!!!!!!! :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
Ok, mama..help me out on this one...I don't get it*insert embarrassed smilie*
Maybe I need 'the talk' :thatsright:
Seriously though, it's all gonna work out fine mama. I'm pinching you a little as someone who will get hers soon since I have not had to get down the real nitty gritty talk yet so you can laugh at my expense when that time comes very soon I'm sure :bawl: Another painful step towards independence.
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Sounds like time for "the talk" pretty soon. :( (far as I know)
I had the worst "talk" when I was a kid. :rotf:
It was 5th grade (I think) and they split up the girls and boys, got a little info and then we had to write a paper on the subject. It was me at the dinning room table with Dad over my shoulder (me sweating bullets) and literally taking dictation. Pure plagiarism! Most uncomfortable 20+ minutes of my young life.
Oh... and I got a "C". :lmao:
I'm sure you will do much better Mia! LOL
LMAO--Hi5 for this story. I about died laughing at the visual.
Whose Mia giving 'the talk' to? :naughty: :-)
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Only those hot* girls* you go out with!
*hot=you dress them up
*girls=blow up dolls
Well they bitch alot less! :-)
Yeah, but the squeaking is a dead giveaway.
That and having to get out the ******* compressor 3 or 4 times a day! :-)
A few posts down in the thread link..I don't know, Toast...that's a pretty realistic(and hot)blow up doll standing next to you :evillaugh:
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,112.120.html
Yeah they make em pretty realistic these days! Just gotta figure out how she's gettin outta my closet and emptying my checking account :confused: :-) Thanks Jty :-*
Maintenance...it's in the manual. :hammer: :-)
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Well if a blow up doll has holes for stuff to get stuck in and out of then eventually things that are sticky will get emptied into those holes. This will make the holes slightly nasty so they must be cleaned at some point.
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Well if a blow up doll has holes for stuff to get stuck in and out of then eventually things that are sticky will get emptied into those holes. This will make the holes slightly nasty so they must be cleaned at some point.
Eww... :doh:
Now I got to thinking about that weird documentary about a guy who was in love with one of those very realistic dolls that they are making. :mental:
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Sounds like time for "the talk" pretty soon. :( (far as I know)
I had the worst "talk" when I was a kid. :rotf:
It was 5th grade (I think) and they split up the girls and boys, got a little info and then we had to write a paper on the subject. It was me at the dinning room table with Dad over my shoulder (me sweating bullets) and literally taking dictation. Pure plagiarism! Most uncomfortable 20+ minutes of my young life.
Oh... and I got a "C". :lmao:
I'm sure you will do much better Mia! LOL
LMAO--Hi5 for this story. I about died laughing at the visual.
Whose Mia giving 'the talk' to? :naughty: :-)
Oops! Sorry mamacags!! Dunno why I goofed the OP?
Well, knowing my sad history now, I'm open to whomever amoung the CC girls thinks they can give me an "A" worthy "talk".
:tongue:
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Misdirection:
The Condon Committee was the informal name of the University of Colorado UFO Project... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condon_Committee)
And then later on you can say, Oh....Con-dom! and do that fake head-smack thing.
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Sounds like time for "the talk" pretty soon. :( (far as I know)
I had the worst "talk" when I was a kid. :rotf:
It was 5th grade (I think) and they split up the girls and boys, got a little info and then we had to write a paper on the subject. It was me at the dinning room table with Dad over my shoulder (me sweating bullets) and literally taking dictation. Pure plagiarism! Most uncomfortable 20+ minutes of my young life.
Oh... and I got a "C". :lmao:
I'm sure you will do much better Mia! LOL
Holy crap do I have kids I don't know about?!?!?!
:rofl:
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Explain they make kick ass water balloons to throw at the girls to prevent the spread of cooties. :-)
J/K Yes, the time has come, the Walrus said.
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You can always pawn the kids off to family members who can have "the talk" with them-
My daughter, who is almost 8, was spending a few days at her Aunt's house several weeks ago. Now, I haven't had any discussions with my daughter about "it" yet, or anything even remotely related to "it", other than explaining the differences between her bits and her baby brother's bits. So, a day or two after she gets home from her Aunt's house, she throws me some attitude and sass....so I ask her what's wrong, and she says "I must be on my period"....uh, hibbity WHUH???? After I pick my jaw up off the floor, she tells me that Aunt Holly told her about periods. I'm like, "Ok, what did Aunt Holly tell you?" Her response:
"Well, Aunt Holly was really yelling at Uncle Paul one day, and then she snapped at me, too, but I wasn't doing anything wrong. She apologized to me later, and said it wasn't my fault, that she was on her period. I asked her what a period was, and she said that when a woman is on her period, she eats everything in sight, and she gets really mad and mean and yells at people for no reason."
I guess that's a good enough explanation for now.
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Scoobie.....I had this picture in my head of the look on your face when you daughter was telling you what a period was....I couldn't help but laugh.
Years and years ago....when my soon to be 27 yo was in first grade....his dad and I were sitting in the kitchen talking while dinner was cooking. My darling son walks in and says .....I need to tell you what I learned at school today....we gave the obvious parental response of.....ok, what did you learn.
My little blond cherub-faced child says......I learned what f-u-c-k means!..... (he had spelled it out).
We not only did the "jaw drop" but our expressions must have made him think he was in a lot of trouble. Because it took us a few minutes to convince him he wasn't going to get in trouble for telling us....I think we were more worried about how we were going to explain the upcoming questions we were sure were to follow.
Finally.....he says .....ok, you promised not to get mad......but it means......fart.
We just said...yep! but it's a very bad word and you must never use it, ok? To which he said ok....and took off to another room.
We were soooo glad we didn't have to have a "talk"....at least at that time.
Hmmmm.....wonder how long it was before he knew what it did mean? Probably one of those things a mother really doesn't want to know. :uhsure: