The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: RMN on January 25, 2017, 05:07:06 AM

Title: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: RMN on January 25, 2017, 05:07:06 AM
This one want to get while the gettings good. Probably good thinking.  But if you only have a couple hundred dollars you can just put it in your pocket.

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rufus dog (6,111 posts)

Need advice on moving money offshore
Looked at requirements to open a bank account in Canada, looks like I would need to apply for residence. Anyone have experience in moving money offshore?
Rufus is Looking for help.

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Laura PourMeADrink (20,198 posts)
2. No, but would that help? A US meltdown would be a global meltdown. I am seriously

thinking about my IRA - converting it from stock to cash. I lost SO much and have never gotten it back for years and years. But, would hate to have that happen again with the little I have gained back.
This one can't help directly but is cashing in her IRAs in case rufus finds an answer.

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Laura PourMeADrink (20,198 posts)
3. P.S. Heard an economist say it would be a year before the collapse. The market will

gain for a year with Trump optimism, and then the hollowness of it all, will hit everyone.
She chimes in again urging expediency due to sources.

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rufus dog (6,111 posts)
8. I would normally agree with that

Problem is Trump! Any given day he could blow things up. I was planning on waiting but have changed my mind and pulling out now.
Rufus reveals that his true fear is the atom bomb!

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susanna (4,609 posts)
16. I am literally trying to figure out what to do.

My husband and I (50s) lived through the last downturn, bounced back a bit.

We are 100% 401(k) dependent. (Thanks, corporations, for destroying pensions halfway through our time!)

We can't do this again. We'll have nothing when it comes time to retire. And if Medicare/SS goes, we will have even more NOTHING. Even though we've busted our ass for our entire lives.

I am not sure what I can believe in, ever.

**** djt and his minions. He'll pay for this one way or another. It's not just us! It's the Boomers. When you have no time left, YOU HAVE NO TIME LEFT.

God I hate these people. Beyond measure.
Susanna is panicking!

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mnhtnbb (20,726 posts)
4. We had a bank account in Panama at one time when we were

building a house there. But the development ran into labor/financial problems and we eventually gave
up on the house (although we were able to sell it to someone else and it eventually was completed).
We closed our account and brought the money back to the US. I have wished since the election that we still had the house.

I think the rules may have changed and they might be different if you don't intend to live there. We did have to jump through some hoops.
It's definitely not as easy as opening accounts in the US.
This one knows how but neglects to share the knowledge.

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rufus dog (6,111 posts)
6. Thanks,

Looking at some regulations online now. Definitely not easy.
Rufus decided to check online!  This ones a thinker!

 :cheersmate:


Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: Adam Wood on January 25, 2017, 05:32:24 AM
I know a most honorable guy in Nigeria who will hold your money and facilitate an international currency exchange.  He comes highly recommended by John Podesta.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: jb2u11 on January 25, 2017, 07:00:38 AM
There has to be a way to take advantage of these dolts and end up with all or most of their money........if I were that type of person.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on January 25, 2017, 07:19:27 AM
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susanna (4,609 posts)
16. I am literally trying to figure out what to do.

My husband and I (50s) lived through the last downturn, bounced back a bit.

We are 100% 401(k) dependent. (Thanks, corporations, for destroying pensions halfway through our time!)

We can't do this again. We'll have nothing when it comes time to retire. And if Medicare/SS goes, we will have even more NOTHING. Even though we've busted our ass for our entire lives.

I am not sure what I can believe in, ever.

Look where you are?  See that?  ...... I(D)iot.

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**** djt and his minions. He'll pay for this one way or another. It's not just us! It's the Boomers. When you have no time left, YOU HAVE NO TIME LEFT.

God I hate these people. Beyond measure.

Poor (D)Ummies.  They can read minds and tell the future, but can't seem to invest money.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: Maverick1987 on January 25, 2017, 09:18:33 AM
There are minimums for these types of transactions, Rufus dog. Your $13 and change falls well short of them.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: FlaGator on January 25, 2017, 09:21:18 AM
put all your cash in a bell jar, fill the remaining space with pebbles, close the lid and throw it from the end of a pier located somewhere on one of the coasts (left or right on your compass).
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: Happy Fun Ball on January 25, 2017, 09:34:52 AM
Maybe you should buy some land in Antarctica. You believe in global warming so much, it should be a tropical paradise in a decade or so.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: zeitgeist on January 25, 2017, 09:35:37 AM
Now let me think.  What was the advice for the last great financial crisis from back in the Jimmy Carter era?

Oh yeah, Pharmaceuticals.    Panama Red was always a good bet or Maui Wowie.  And regardless what your street connection tells ya, don't stock up on crystal meth, it will decompose over the long haul.  Mexican Smack is always a safe bet as well as high grade Colombian Coke.  Go multi national, dump a few bucks in a basket of Pharma, Rufus.  The next eight years will just glide by and you are fully insured in case you happen to get caught holding weight, you can do that eight with three hots, a cot, and all the sex you can handle at the Gray Bar Hotel.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: hillneck on January 25, 2017, 09:35:55 AM
Hey Rufus, send your ten dollars to me and I will put it to good use by buying a six pack.   
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: SVPete on January 25, 2017, 10:06:04 AM
Funny ... just a few years ago - or was it months ago? - having an offshore bank account ot investment was considered on DU as prima facie evidence of tax evasion and/or some other felony. And now some DU-folk want to do it themselves.

If it weren't for double-standards ...

I hope this DU-fool invests in Zimbabwean dollars.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: jukin on January 25, 2017, 11:37:31 AM
I actually spit coffee out in laughter when I read this. Funny on so many levels. 

:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: DLR Pyro on January 25, 2017, 11:57:35 AM
Quote
susanna (4,609 posts)
16. I am literally trying to figure out what to do.

My husband and I (50s) lived through the last downturn, bounced back a bit.

We are 100% 401(k) dependent. (Thanks, corporations, for destroying pensions halfway through our time!)

We can't do this again. We'll have nothing when it comes time to retire. And if Medicare/SS goes, we will have even more NOTHING. Even though we've busted our ass for our entire lives.

I am not sure what I can believe in, ever.

Go to your nearest casino, be that in Vegas, Atlantic City, or closest Injun reservation, find a roulette wheel and bet it all, and i mean ALL on black. 
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: zeitgeist on January 25, 2017, 12:13:15 PM
Go to your nearest casino, be that in Vegas, Atlantic City, or closest Injun reservation, find a roulette wheel and bet it all, and i mean ALL on black.

See Rufus, this is why you shouldn't take advice from well meaning internet groups.  DLR left out the most important steps to this investment strategy.
 
Step 1:  Purchase a .357 magnum hand gun and a single bullet.
 
Step 2.  Go to your nearest casino, be that in Vegas, Atlantic City, or closest Injun reservation, find a roulette wheel and bet it all, and i mean ALL on black. 

 Step 3: If you lose, load bullet, install gun in mouth, pull trigger.   Problem solved. :-)
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: USA4ME on January 25, 2017, 12:45:31 PM
Quote from:
Laura PourMeADrink

3. P.S. Heard an economist say it would be a year before the collapse. The market will gain for a year with Trump optimism, and then the hollowness of it all, will hit everyone.

This is a lie (surprise, surprise).

I've read the same economists to whom this primitive is referencing and they're saying that had Hillary been elected the market correction would have happened late 2016 or early 2017, but when Trump came in it pushed it forward a year.

Personally, I have no issue with this because the market is over-priced and has been for a while. That it happens now or a year from now is not the point; a market correction is due. Of course, they'll make it out to be Trump's fault, but the same market correction would be happening now with Hillary's promise to continue Dear Leader's policies. The primitives would have made excuses for that or blamed R's, so we have yet more evidence (like we needed more) that liberals are hypocrites.

.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: RMN on January 25, 2017, 02:15:04 PM
I apologize for forgetting links on these.  It was late and I was drinking!   :cheersmate:
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 25, 2017, 06:51:43 PM
Doesn't that money belong to the people?
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: jukin on January 25, 2017, 08:35:57 PM
Doesn't that money belong to the people?
Usuuuuuualllly but this money is mine...so....

You know everytime bernie sanders does anything mildly absurd, I would ask him how his new lake dacha is. I bet he shuts the **** up right quick.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: FlippyDoo on January 25, 2017, 10:29:30 PM
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     rufus dog (6,111 posts)

    Need advice on moving money offshore
    Looked at requirements to open a bank account in Canada, looks like I would need to apply for residence. Anyone have experience in moving money offshore?

NO! Never Canada! Pack all of your money in a case. On the case with a bright marker (green if you can find TominTib) write: DO NOT TOUCH! PRIVATE! CASH MONEY!  Whatever you do, do NOT forget to write the "PRIVATE" part or people will bug you about it.  Take your case and head to the nearest industrial shipping docks. Find a ship that is heading to the mideast. Remember to never let the money filled case out of your sight. Once you land in the mideast you should carry your case and ask around for anyone in the Important Special Integrity Source. Just call them ISIS for short. Once you find a member of ISIS explain to him that you are an anti-American, pro-homosexual, athiest who wants to protect the shit load of money in your case. I'm sure the nice ISIS member will help you out.

IF you don't want to have to do so much traveling just take your case to Chicago one evening after the sun has gone down and just wander around with it for a while. Soon a customer service rep will help you right out.

You welcome.
Title: Re: Need advice on moving money offshore!
Post by: Adam Wood on January 26, 2017, 05:57:48 AM
This is a lie (surprise, surprise).

I've read the same economists to whom this primitive is referencing and they're saying that had Hillary been elected the market correction would have happened late 2016 or early 2017, but when Trump came in it pushed it forward a year.

Personally, I have no issue with this because the market is over-priced and has been for a while. That it happens now or a year from now is not the point; a market correction is due. Of course, they'll make it out to be Trump's fault, but the same market correction would be happening now with Hillary's promise to continue Dear Leader's policies. The primitives would have made excuses for that or blamed R's, so we have yet more evidence (like we needed more) that liberals are hypocrites.

.
You have to remember that these people actually believe that Paul Krugman is an economist.  After all, he got a Nobel Prize for that, proving once again that Nobel Prizes are utterly worthless except as a method to show how wrong a single person can be.  See: Barack Obama.