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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BattleHymn on May 24, 2016, 04:03:24 PM

Title: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: BattleHymn on May 24, 2016, 04:03:24 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018868368

I hope none of you are flying next to this lardass.

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Tue May 24, 2016, 01:25 PM
Hayduke Bomgarte (628 posts)

Question about flying, domestically

I haven't flown since the 80s, when I was much smaller than now.

Last time I flew , I was 6ft 2in, but only 190 lbs. Now I'm still 6-2, but hovering around 300 lbs. Am I going to be able, at my size, to fit in coach seats?

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Tue May 24, 2016, 01:30 PM
NightWatcher (29,028 posts)
1. As long as you're not flying Delta.

I'm 6'5" and I can't cram my legs into their smaller domestic planes. The arm rests will also probably jab into your hips.

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Tue May 24, 2016, 01:36 PM
Hayduke Bomgarte (628 posts)
2. Great to know

The flight I'm looking at is on American.

Thanks much!

I'm also trying, without success so far, to look into trains, from either Chicago or St. Louis to Phoenix, Az.

Progressives!  The party of the future with new ideas!  Trains!!  Although maybe he was looking into shipping himself freight class on the train, at which point I'd say kudos to it.

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Tue May 24, 2016, 01:43 PM
Star Member dixiegrrrrl (46,261 posts)
3. maybe call the airlines and ask?

Depends on which class you are flying, of course, but most airlines have shrunk seats and legroom during a time when most people are becoming larger.


Finally, after much bickering:

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Tue May 24, 2016, 04:46 PM
Hayduke Bomgarte (628 posts)
11. Thank you all so very much

Using the info you've all so kindly offered to dig deeper into my options, I'm now 99% sure I'm going to take a train and leave the airports for others.

Please and thank you.  Freight needs to stick with modes of transport that freight is generally relegated to.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Big Dog on May 24, 2016, 04:53:08 PM
Quote
Hayduke Bomgarte (628 posts)

Now I'm still 6-2, but hovering around 300 lbs.

That ain't hovering, DUmmy.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Patriot Guard Rider on May 24, 2016, 05:26:52 PM
That ain't hovering, DUmmy.

"Hovering around 300" means in actuality, he's 325-350.

I once sat next to a morbidly, MORBIDLY obese woman. I was giving up half my seat to that heffer. Once in the air, I asked the stewardess, sorry, flight attendant, if I could move. The flight was only about half-full. She said ok. When I went to the restroom, heffer lady had lifted the arm support and had her ass planted firmly between the two seats. The sad thing is, it looked normal. She had to be a good 400 lbs.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: I_B_Perky on May 24, 2016, 07:17:48 PM
That ain't hovering, DUmmy.

No shit Big Dog. Ain't no hovering to it... that is a full fledged landing on the lard ass side of the scale.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: jb2u11 on May 24, 2016, 09:37:13 PM
flew from Portland to Chicago next to a guy like that. He had the aisle seat, I had the center, instead of leaning toward the aisle he leaned in my direction the entire flight.  I rarely fly coach on anything for more than 2 hours anymore.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: landofconfusion80 on May 25, 2016, 07:07:30 AM
"Hovering around 300" means in actuality, he's 325-350.

I once sat next to a morbidly, MORBIDLY obese woman. I was giving up half my seat to that heffer. Once in the air, I asked the stewardess, sorry, flight attendant, if I could move. The flight was only about half-full. She said ok. When I went to the restroom, heffer lady had lifted the arm support and had her ass planted firmly between the two seats. The sad thing is, it looked normal. She had to be a good 400 lbs.
Saying heifer....I wonder if fat people create more methane than skinny people.... 3/4 of the island would be forced to buy carbon credits

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on May 25, 2016, 12:01:47 PM
Does the exit row restrict fatties from sitting there? If so, that could be one way to avoid the blubber spillage from a fat person of size.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Big Dog on May 25, 2016, 04:27:11 PM
Saying heifer....I wonder if fat people create more methane than skinny people.... 3/4 of the island would be forced to buy carbon credits

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

The answer is "yes".

Don't ask me how I know this shit.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: franksolich on May 25, 2016, 04:45:53 PM
The answer is "yes".

Don't ask me how I know this shit.

Not only that, but--

I know it's gross and disgusting and a turn-off, but solid human body wastes are a fact of life, and can be discussed, sort of, if one practices certain, uh, delicacies.

I dunno the source of the information, but one time an "underground" newspaper in Lincoln, Nebraska, published a most interesting statistic, that the "average" person creates an "average" of 11,000 pounds of the brown stuff in his "average" lifetime.

Not only do I not know the source, but I have no idea what "average" meant in this instance, as quoted by the long-ago hippie publication.

But anyway, so the "average" human being builds 11,000 pounds of a mountain.  But using the logic of "in-out," surely those who intake more expel more.  I'm sure for example the late Las Vegas Leviathan constructed a couple of Mount Everest-sized mounds, and the lazy bum the Odin2005 primitive seems on his way to doing even better.

Think of the strain all this places on Mother Gaia, these monstrous mountains of solid human wastes.

Remember how the primitives revere Mother Gaia; they don't want anything bad to happen to her.

If they love Mother Gaia so much, the primitives should eat less, thus producing less to burden her.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: BattleHymn on May 25, 2016, 05:01:36 PM
I dunno the source of the information, but one time an "underground" newspaper in Lincoln, Nebraska, published a most interesting statistic, that the "average" person creates an "average" of 11,000 pounds of the brown stuff in his "average" lifetime.

Tobin and the Big Guy met their lifetime quota before they were 15 years old.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: BattleHymn on May 25, 2016, 05:13:58 PM
Ask and ye shall receive.

http://numbertwoguide.com/poop-calculator

I had the liberty to put in Tobin's stats, and the second to last figure I arrived at was this:

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Amount of times you have clogged the toilet 114 times

We've all seen Tobin.  I guarantee you he's clogged a toilet more than 114 times in his 43 years.  Hell, he probably stopped up that many toilets last year alone.


Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Patriot Guard Rider on May 25, 2016, 05:15:25 PM
Quote
I dunno the source of the information, but one time an "underground" newspaper in Lincoln, Nebraska, published a most interesting statistic, that the "average" person creates an "average" of 11,000 pounds of the brown stuff in his "average" lifetime.

Ask and ye shall receive.

http://numbertwoguide.com/poop-calculator
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Big Dog on May 25, 2016, 05:29:11 PM
Ask and ye shall receive.

http://numbertwoguide.com/poop-calculator

Holy shit!
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Patriot Guard Rider on May 25, 2016, 05:36:40 PM
Holy shit!

An understatement.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: I_B_Perky on May 25, 2016, 05:43:28 PM
Holy shit!

Well the dummies do think their shit don't stink so it stands to reason they think it is holy as well.   :tongue:
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Boudicca on May 25, 2016, 06:18:46 PM
Having just flown home from a visit to NC, I can only say I'm extremely grateful that there wasn't a lardass rolling around in the aisle when we hit a patch of turbulence!  Fortunately my two adjacent seatmates were svelte young women, with me being the slightly chubby middle seat place holder.  But hey, after losing over 40# this past year, I weigh approximately the same as my wedding day in 1984.

I watched enough enemy cable shows these last months to lose my appetite, so LIBERAL PUKES apparently have a purpose in life after all!  Just as there MUST be a purpose for the existence of cockroaches. :-)
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Mugsaway on May 25, 2016, 07:33:23 PM
11,000 Lbs?...  Seems like I did that much the night before my Colonoscopy...
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: franksolich on May 26, 2016, 06:47:14 AM
Tobin and the Big Guy met their lifetime quota before they were 15 years old.

The big guy from Bellevue of course knows far more about all this than we ordinary mortals who've never worked with the stuff know.

And thus I'm sorely surprised it hasn't influenced him; that he hasn't sat down and thought, "oh wow, I've got to put less stress and strain and pollution upon Mama Gaia by eating less....."
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Big Dog on May 26, 2016, 08:53:10 AM
Quote
Heywood Jablowme(628 posts)

Question about flying, domestically

I haven't flown since the 80s, when I was much smaller than now.

Last time I flew , I was 6ft 2in, but only 190 lbs. Now I'm still 6-2, but hovering around 300 lbs. Am I going to be able, at my size, to fit in coach seats?

The seat is the least of your worries, DUmbass.

What about the lavatory? You would look like a phone booth stuffing stunt at Sea World, and make the whole plane smell like a backed up sewer.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Karin on May 26, 2016, 11:46:00 AM
What an inconvenience, a bother to be so overweight.  It's so preventable.  Get up off the ass and move around and practice portion control.  This is not that hard. 
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on May 27, 2016, 01:28:41 AM
When I saw the thread title, I imagined this thread having something to do with PHDD and Coach.

 :-)


CMD
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: franksolich on May 27, 2016, 03:41:50 AM
11,000 Lbs?...  Seems like I did that much the night before my Colonoscopy...

With no inference about anything sir, that actually might've done you some good, being emptied.

An old country doctor thirty years ago told me that in all his years of practice, he noticed that the greater share of emotional problems people have, were based in bowel problems; that if they'd just add more roughage and fiber to their diets to roto-rooter out themselves, they'd end up better people.

The primitives on Skins's island are notoriously anal-retentive, but despite that their problems are easily eliminated, they don't want that.  They want to be wretched and miserable and nasty.  I swear, many of them must've had their rectal apertures sewn shut decades ago.

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anal retentive  A mild form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. A collection of very irritating personality traits that include stubbornness, orderliness, and a desire to control others and their surroundings. It makes a person meticulous or fixated about little things, nit-picking or paying extreme attention to detail, and trying to control his or her environment and other people.

They do things “by the book’’ with no flexibility in the way they complete tasks, and expect others to do and think as they. It’s their way or the highway, basically. They are the worst people to work for or live with. My roommate is a good example. He irons his underwear because he doesn’t want the wrinkles, assuming people will see them or care. He always must have his room spotless in every detail, including making his bed to perfection before going to work. Before he puts dishes in the dishwasher, he washes them thoroughly, defeating his purpose for the dishwasher. And he must have the dishes in the washer sitting at a certain angle, for fear they wont get cleaned.

He will also literally pick tiny particles from the living room carpet, before using the vacuum cleaner. Psychologists say that anally retentive people’s habits—often controlling—stem from lack of being breast fed as an infant. Basically, people who are anally retentive act like they have something up their butt. Instead, they need to see a psychiatrist. And if things don’t go their way, they go nuts! Anally retentive people are usually very annoying as a result and may have a hard time making and keeping friends.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on May 27, 2016, 08:18:08 AM
What an inconvenience, a bother to be so overweight.  It's so preventable.  Get up off the ass and move around and practice portion control.  This is not that hard.
Good point.

The most miserable flight I endured was Memphis to LAX.  4 hours, I got stuck in a middle seat.  Being 6'2" and of normal weight, that was awfully cramped.  Due to the timing, upgrading to business class wasn't possible.  Was expensive enough already, a few hundred more would have been worth it.

When I fly Southwest or smaller planes, I'll gladly volunteer to sit in the exit row.  So much more leg room.
Title: Re: 300 pounds of primitive wants to try squeezing into a coach seat
Post by: diesel driver on May 27, 2016, 03:22:49 PM
No shit Big Dog. Ain't no hovering to it... that is a full fledged landing on the lard ass side of the scale.

Like most big men, Hayduke Bomgarte is surprisingly heavy on his feet.
He is as agile as a cathedral.   :lol: :lmao:
However, he is in high demand where he works.  In the winter, he's a mobile windbreaker.
In the summer, he casts an enormous amount of shade.