The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: CC27 on March 15, 2016, 10:44:30 AM
-
Laura PourMeADrink (18,403 posts)
Who has been with DU for more than 10 years?
For me, it was looking for consolation during the bleak days following the 2004 election.
I still remember someone posting "After lying on the floor, staring at a dust bunny for three days straight, I got up and went to my computer and found DU."
Paging Will Pitt.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027684590
-
Comedy gold.
-
Who has been with DU for more than 10 years?
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1101930635/CTFCMole.jpg)
"Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name?"
-
Wasn't it the wheelchair bound blues musician DUmmy that posted the story about lying on the floor in his own vomit for 3 days? I can't remember his name.
*Philosoraptor, but he posted the story under his previous screen name, Mo-something
-
Comedy gold.
Well, it's nice to see that so many of the old-timers agree they've never seen the primitives so divided as they are now.
Such happens to unpleasant people.
-
I still remember someone posting "After lying on the floor, staring at a dust bunny for three days straight, I got up and went to my computer and found DU."
I'm sure the dust bunny was much relieved.
ETA: Speaking of relieved dust bunnies, how many DU-folk should be put on suicide watch should their beloved CHILL or Bern or ???? lose in November?
-
Speaking of relieved dust bunnies, how many DU-folk should be put on suicide watch should their beloved CHILL or Bern or ???? lose in November?
Despite my respect for human life, I don't think the primitives should be on suicide watch, ever.
I think if they want to off themselves, they should be left alone to go ahead and do it.
-
If the results of an election cause one to lay on the floor for three days in a state of denial and depression then psychiatric help is needed... badly. Normal people are either happy or sad depending on the outcome and then go about living their lives as usual. That is what normal people do. Any action outside of that scope is probably either an example of psychotic or neurotic behavior. Please lurking DUers, if you experience abnormal and extreme behavioral responses to elections, seek medical help sooner rather than later.
-
Wasn't it the wheelchair bound blues musician DUmmy that posted the story about lying on the floor in his own vomit for 3 days? I can't remember his name.
*Philosoraptor, but he posted the story under his previous screen name, Mo-something
MoPaul.
One of the classics.
-
Thanks Frank!
Here's his post
mopaul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-06-04 07:29 AM
Original message
For 2 whole days, I layed in the corner drooling & making weird sounds
Edited on Sat Nov-06-04 08:11 AM by mopaul
When I awoke very early Wednesday morning, I remember making coffee and sitting down with a cup at the computer machine....then, everything turned bright white, then completely black. I felt a dull thud, and heard a sound like a pumpkin smashing against a side of beef.
Every few hours, I would drift back into lucidity, just long enough to realize I was laying in the corner of the living room with spittle running down my cheek and into a large puddle at my chin. and I could hear a weird voice off in the distance. I later realized it was my own voice, but I didn't hear words, only groans and occasional burps.
One time when I blurred back into almost consciousness, I saw my dear wife, Mrs. Paul, over at the edge of the room, but she looked like she was 20 miles away, and I remember that the sensation of time passing had vanished, and I seemed to be locked in a ripple between time and space.
I got the vague blurred impression that I was curled up in the fetal position, and I could see a dust bunny in the corner in great detail, but I knew that dust bunnies didn't talk, as this one did. It kept echoing a phrase or mantra that I couldn't quite make out...'mandate'...'exit polls'....'massive turnout'...'4 more beers, 4 more beers'.....then the silence of the grave.
Then, I began to regret that I hadn't just died, and I felt hot as hell, but shivering like a naked man in antarctica, sweating and trembling violently. I remember dear Mrs. Paul applying a wet towel to my forehead and saying sweet comforting things to me, and I remember she looked like an angel, wings and all. for a while, it looked like I might pull through.
But then, the fever dreams began, and I descended into hell, headfirst. I saw all the souls of all the disenfranchised voters in a lake of burning sulpher and I heard their terrible lamentations, and I remember wishing that I'd never been born with ears, or eyes to see their awful suffering.
Deeper, and deeper I fell into the stygian abyss, and I saw off in the distance what looked like a fiery throne, and it came into view and I could not close my offended eyes or rip them out and I saw the beast of stolen elections in all his bloody glory and I grew sore afraid.
'O Democratic God of justice, why hast thou forsaken me?' I wailed.
'Why must I look upon this horror of the ages with my mortal eyes?'
But I heard no reply to my plea, and no relief for my suffering soul, and I had no cool drink of salvation to quench my damned tongue, and no succor from my candidate.
After this I felt only blackness, cold and empty, where no shadows ever lived because no light had ever shone there. My eyes were open, as I later discovered, but I layed there like a dead man for the last hours of thursday night, stinking, burping, and generally bringing shame to my entire family.
Slowly, I began to recover from my affliction, my eyes cleared and my head too, but it still felt like spiders had built webs in there.
I found the strength to make a pot of joe, and lurched back over to the computer machine. I stared at it for about two hours, motionless, finally grabbing the mouse and braced myself and faced the music. I started to comfort myself, and forget the awful ordeal I'd just been through and the portentous visions I'd had.
And now, I'm gradually regaining my strength and composure, I've showered, put on clean clothes and burned the old ones, and apologized to my wife and my neighbors in the apt. above me.
That's my story, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been down this same road of despair and redemption, and in that, I find solace and strength. Two days lost forever. Two whole days of my life taken, never to be redeemed. Two days of hell, to steel me on my quest for a satisfying election night. Someday, my prince, or princess will come
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2616344
-
Thanks Frank!
Here's his post
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2616344
Thanks even more to you for having saved that link!
I wasn't aware anyone had, and recollected it only from vague memory.
-
If MoPaul didn't have a documented history of being an unstable crackpot, one could be excused for thinking that was satire.
-
For 2 whole days, I layed in the corner drooling & making weird sounds
Sounds like almost any DU meetup. Just change the singular pronoun to plural.
-
If MoPaul didn't have a documented history of being an unstable crackpot, one could be excused for thinking that was satire.
It must be satire.
And now, I'm gradually regaining my strength and composure, I've showered, put on clean clothes and burned the old ones, and apologized to my wife and my neighbors in the apt. above me.
Two things DUmmies never do are shower and/or apologize.
-
Despite my respect for human life, I don't think the primitives should be on suicide watch, ever.
I think if they want to off themselves, they should be left alone to go ahead and do it.
:rimshot: !
Of course, I didn't say anything about prevention, just watching, :rimshot: .
-
Despite my respect for human life, I don't think the primitives should be on suicide watch, ever.
I think if they want to off themselves, they should be left alone to go ahead and do it.
I think they should be helped. Otherwise they will screw it up.
Laura PourMeADrink (18,403 posts)
Who has been with DU for more than 10 years?
For me, it was looking for consolation during the bleak days following the 2004 election.
I still remember someone posting "After lying on the floor, staring at a dust bunny for three days straight, I got up and went to my computer and found DU."
I have!!!! Multiple times. :lmao: