The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: CollectivismMustDie on January 30, 2016, 07:11:36 PM
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I think we're shortchanging them. We recognize DUmmies for their grandeur, and issue appropriate awards to the deserving. We're caring compassionate decent people that way. But I think we're shortchanging them. Selling them short. We spend an unfair amount of time on the bright stars, while primitives of no prominence go unnoticed.
That is not to say we don't give it our best. We show appreciation for them as best we can, here in the DUmpster. We give it our all, each and every one of us. But our best hasn't been enough. In fairness, one can only discuss so many of them. There is no 'blame' to be apportioned, no finger to point. Its just a fact of life, but it leaves the primitives of no prominence as micro-defenders. Victims. Don't let the booze and drugs and free stuff fool you. These primitives are hurting every bit as much as the kids in the sally strothers "save the children" commercials. Just a moment of your time can make such a difference to the life of a DUmmie.
To right this egregious wrong, the solution is recognition. Not of the individuals, but of the ideas and beliefs that so many of them share. A constant symbol of recognition for ALL DUmmies who languish and toil unseen unheard and unknown in the cold and friendless shadows of giants like gNads, randys1 and Dainbramaged.
To that end, I very humbly propose a year 'round tribute to the ideas and beliefs of all the unsung DUmmies out there, and in the same vein as "you may be a redneck...", lets call it "You may be a DUmmie...". I'll go first with a few:
If you believe that fast and furious and benghazi are fake scandals, you may be a DUmmie.
If you believe that its 'ok enough' that madam stumpy lied to still vote for her, you may be a DUmmie.
If you're more worried about vetting american citizens to own guns than you are about vetting who comes into this nation from an outside world chocked full of people that hate America, originating from regions containing nations that have vowed to destroy America, you may be a Dummie.
We salute you, DUmmies. :usflag:
CMD
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I have a different salute for the DUmmies. It's :bird: and :bigbird:
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I think we're shortchanging them. We recognize DUmmies for their grandeur, and issue appropriate awards to the deserving. We're caring compassionate decent people that way. But I think we're shortchanging them. Selling them short. We spend an unfair amount of time on the bright stars, while primitives of no prominence go unnoticed.
That is not to say we don't give it our best. We show appreciation for them as best we can, here in the DUmpster. We give it our all, each and every one of us. But our best hasn't been enough. In fairness, one can only discuss so many of them. There is no 'blame' to be apportioned, no finger to point. Its just a fact of life, but it leaves the primitives of no prominence as micro-defenders. Victims. Don't let the booze and drugs and free stuff fool you. These primitives are hurting every bit as much as the kids in the sally strothers "save the children" commercials. Just a moment of your time can make such a difference to the life of a DUmmie.
To right this egregious wrong, the solution is recognition. Not of the individuals, but of the ideas and beliefs that so many of them share. A constant symbol of recognition for ALL DUmmies who languish and toil unseen unheard and unknown in the cold and friendless shadows of giants like gNads, randys1 and Dainbramaged.
To that end, I very humbly propose a year 'round tribute to the ideas and beliefs of all the unsung DUmmies out there, and in the same vein as "you may be a redneck...", lets call it "You may be a DUmmie...". I'll go first with a few:
If you believe that fast and furious and benghazi are fake scandals, you may be a DUmmie.
If you believe that its 'ok enough' that madam stumpy lied to still vote for her, you may be a DUmmie.
If you're more worried about vetting american citizens to own guns than you are about vetting who comes into this nation from an outside world chocked full of people that hate America, originating from regions containing nations that have vowed to destroy America, you may be a Dummie.
We salute you, DUmmies. :usflag:
CMD
If you believe that every election a democrat loses is stolen... you might be a dummie.
If you believe that Bush is a war criminal... you might be a dummie.
If you cannot feed, clothe, and house yourself.... you might be a dummie.
If you are all three, here's your sign! :gay2:
I'll leave the rest for other people here. :cheersmate:
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For the bernouts:
If you long for the fresh, bold and invigorating ideas of a septuagenarian hippie who has been in Congress for over 23 years, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If your idea of a leader is someone who did absolutely nothing with their life until age 30, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you salivate whenever the words: "fReEsHit!!!111!" are spoken, you may be a (D)Ummie.
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If you regularly talk about how Christianity is an evil, backward religion which oppresses women and gays, yet believe any criticism of Islam along those grounds is racist, you might be a DUmmie.
If you believe unhealthy foods should be illegal, yet cocaine should be fully legalized, you might be a DUmmie.
If you believe in harsh gun laws because you claim you want to protect children, yet simultaneously believe that child molesters and child pornographers are innocent victims of society who should be let off with probation and counseling and not spend a minute inside a jail cell, you might be a DUmmie.
More recently, if you believe the authorities forcefully ending the Bundys' illegal occupation of public land was a wonderful heroic action, yet simultaneously believe that the authorities forcefully ending Occupy Wall Street's illegal occupation of public land was a hideous injustice and violation of their rights, you might be a DUmmie.
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If you prefer electric cars in a nascar race moving at a blazing 30 mph in the Daytona 50, instead of stock cars emitting nasty carbon emissions in the Daytona 500, you ARE a DUmmie.
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If you believe that the bamster is a Christian, you may be a dummie
If you believe that Jesus, the Son of God, is pro-choice, you may be a dummie
If you believe that paying reparations for slavery will solve the countries race issues, you may be a dummie
If you believe that the Bible teaches socialism, your may be a dummie
If you believe that those who murder should be spared the death penalty but the innocent the the womb should be subject to termination at the convenience of the mother and at the taxpayers expense, you may be a dummie.
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If you believe that everything human nature and historical events proves impossible is where we should be heading you are a DUmmie as well as insane and often purely evil.
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... if you believe the state has a right to everything you earn, but is generous in letting you keep some of it.
... if you believe the state has a right, after you die, to everything you earned and were allowed to keep.
... if you believe the Crusades of 7 centuries ago are the core of Christianity, but the head-hackings, suicide bombings, and woman-, girl-, and boy-rapings committed yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before ... by Muslims are irrelevant to Islam.
... if you believe theologically conservative Catholics, Southern Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah's witnesses, Pentecostals, and charismatics are all Fundamentalists.
... if you call Christian Reconstructionism "Dominionism" and believe it is a pervasive core belief of Evangelical Christians.
... if you think Pat Robertson is a loony-toon but voted for Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton in a D Presidential Primary.
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If you think that Hillary or Bernie can fix healthcare, your a dummy.
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If you think that a can of beans is your best line of defense, you may be a (D)Ummie.
((D)Ummie, I like that)
If you think that constitutionalists are extremists, rather than the people who read a whole bunch of things into the constitution that aren't even there, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you support sanctuary cities but were calling for blood in Oregon, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you think obozo is a uniter, and not a divider, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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You maybe a DUmmie if you think Suharto and Pinochet are evil, but you think Stalin, Pol Pot, Hitler, Mugabe, Guevara, and Manson are heroes.
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If you think that Sanders is a red blooded American and that Trump is a fascist/commie, then your a dummie.
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If you demand that conservative come to your site and debate you...and your site doesn't allow conservatives to post...you may be a DUmmie.
If you are horrified at the thought that Christians are plotting to take over the country in a theocracy, but see nothing wrong with living under sharia law...you may be a DUmmie.
If you are threatened by the rights guaranteed in the constitution...you may be a DUmmie
If you hate cops, and believe that cops kill with impunity...but think only cops should have guns...you may be a DUmmie
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If you demand that conservative come to your site and debate you...and your site doesn't allow conservatives to post...you may be a DUmmie.
If you are horrified at the thought that Christians are plotting to take over the country in a theocracy, but see nothing wrong with living under sharia law...you may be a DUmmie.
If you are threatened by the rights guaranteed in the constitution...you may be a DUmmie
If you hate cops, and believe that cops kill with impunity...but think only cops should have guns...you may be a DUmmie
H5 earned and issued.. :cheersmate: :cheersmate:
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If you think that "closet conservatives" are going to support BS for President then you may be a dummy
If you think that Big Dumb Martin O's gun control plan is exactly what Americans want then you may be a dummy
If you think that the NRA is a terrorist organization then you certainly think that the Governor of Michigan intentionally poisoned the water in Flint just to get rid of excess population, then you may be a dummy
If you definition of a high crime is the governor of NJ closing a single lane of the Geo Washington Bridge but the Sec of State placing top secret emails on an unsecured server is reicht wing noise, then you may be a dummy.
This is fun...
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This is fun...
Sure is!!!!
So much material to work with, so little time. :cheersmate:
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If you think municipal services like garbage pickup and snow plowing are triumphs of socialism, you might be a DUmmie.
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Sure is!!!!
So much material to work with, so little time. :cheersmate:
Even more material is on the way in just 24 (non-business) hours!
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If you think 9-11 was MIHOP/LIHOP, and can PROVE it with cinder blocks, chicken wire, and a Sterno can, you are a DUmmie.
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If you think municipal services like garbage pickup and snow plowing are triumphs of socialism, you might be a DUmmie.
H-5 earned and issued!
By that standard any government is socialist.
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If you think 9-11 was MIHOP/LIHOP, and can PROVE it with cinder blocks, chicken wire, and a Sterno can, you are a DUmmie.
Why such a high burden of proof?
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In homage to Jeff Fowxorthy, we are slightly modifying his catch phrase "you might be a redneck".
Another caver...I_B_Perky rightfully pointed out with the catchphrase "Here's your sign" that there is more than 1 star from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
What about "Git-r-done" ?
And let's not forget..."They call me tater salad" !
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In homage to Jeff Fowxorthy, we are slightly modifying his catch phrase "you might be a redneck".
Another caver...I_B_Perky rightfully pointed out with the catchphrase "Here's your sign" that there is more than 1 star from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
What about "Git-r-done" ?
And let's not forget..."They call me tater salad" !
Hey, that works too. Just so long as the unsung downtrodden less noteworthy (D)Ummies get the symbolism they so richly deserve.
:-)
Speaking of that:
If you willingly have 15 children, and think that because you did that others should be responsible for raising them and paying for their needs, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you got on your obamaphone to complain about someone open carrying a gun, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you live the 'rat life', you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you willingly have 15 children, and think that because you did that others should be responsible for raising them and paying for their needs, you may be a (D)Ummie.
And if you think a family with 19 kids that supports itself rather than being supported by the government is bizarre and sick, you might ...
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In homage to Jeff Fowxorthy, we are slightly modifying his catch phrase "you might be a redneck".
Another caver...I_B_Perky rightfully pointed out with the catchphrase "Here's your sign" that there is more than 1 star from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
What about "Git-r-done" ?
And let's not forget..."They call me tater salad" !
You are correct. :thatsright:
Let me try again....
If you are a bernie supporter, hitchhike out to Iowa so you can go out and canvass to git-r-done, knock on the door of some guy they call Tater-salad, damn near get your ass shot off and write a bouncy about it, you might be a dummie.
Here's your sign :bouncy:
How is that? :tongue:
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H-5 earned and issued!
By that standard any government is socialist.
(http://i1095.photobucket.com/albums/i475/Delmar59/hqdefault_zpsykmkuvpk.jpg) (http://s1095.photobucket.com/user/Delmar59/media/hqdefault_zpsykmkuvpk.jpg.html)
In their minds, yes.
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If you think madam stumpy is the worst cheatingest underhanded slime that humanity has to offer because of the Iowa caucuses, but you'll vote for her with a smile when shes the nominee, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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You are correct. :thatsright:
Let me try again....
If you are a bernie supporter, hitchhike out to Iowa so you can go out and canvass to git-r-done, knock on the door of some guy they call Tater-salad, damn near get your ass shot off and write a bouncy about it, you might be a dummie.
Here's your sign :bouncy:
How is that? :tongue:
That was AWESOME, with a capital A!!!
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If the most left leaning of establishment republicans are "far right" in your view, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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you may be a DUmmie if you knowingly vote for democrats who take bribes, but the slightest rumor about a republican politician means he must resign.
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Why such a high burden of proof?
So the DUmmies will be sure to trip over it... :rotf:
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If you believe that the liberty wealth and property of others is meaningless, but covet them to the point that you want to use the power of government to appropriate it for yourself, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you believe that Jesus did not come to Earth to save men but to fulfill your political agenda, you may be a DUmmie.
If you loathe Israel and side with terrorists trying to kill Jews, you may be a DUmmie.
If you think Christians have a secret plot to instill a theocracy, you may be a DUmmie.
If you fear a Christian theocracy, BUT want to replace brutal arab dictators with Islamic theocracies far more brutal...you may be a DUmmie.
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If you feel that a rape victim is morally superior (and more desirable to have happen) to a pretty young woman who defends herself with a handgun, you may be a DUmmie.
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If you made 16000$ last year, paid in nothing, got 10000$ back, and are worried about other people paying their fair share , you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you have no idea why Americans are angry at near historic levels, and can only speculate, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you think that obozo is the best president ever, in spite of making on average 2000 dollars less under his economy annually, you may be a (D)Ummie.
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If you think that obozo is the best president ever, in spite of making on average 2000 dollars less under his economy annually, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you support obama's policies to raise electricity prices, then bitch when your bill goes up, you might be a dummie.
Here's your sign. :bitchslap:
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If you support obama's policies to raise electricity prices, then bitch when your bill goes up, you might be a dummie.
Here's your sign. :bitchslap:
Hahaha.
Well said, and Hi-5 (when I can).
CMD
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If you support taxing corporations stupidly high, but are ignorant of the fact that this actually hurts the poor worse than anyone else, you may be a (D)Ummie.
If you support a ten dollar a barrel fee applied to oil companies, but will be the first to complain when it causes gas to go way up in price, OR you think that gas going up in price is a great idea, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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Hahaha.
Well said, and Hi-5 (when I can).
CMD
I was specifically referring to this dummie complaining about his electric bill going up:
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=106385.0 (http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=106385.0)
Nothing better that the dummies getting screwed by the very people they want in power. If only the rest of us didn't get screwed it would be great!
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If you think Cam Newton acted like a man rather than a boy after the Superbowl, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you support obama's policies to raise electricity prices, then bitch when your bill goes up, you might be a dummie.
Here's your sign. :bitchslap:
Bill? Is that you?
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Bill? Is that you?
Damn! I've been found out!!!!!
<kicks dog>
Back to the drawing board.
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Damn! I've been found out!!!!!
<kicks dog>
Back to the drawing board.
Don't forget to kick the cat.
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If you agree with just about everything bigblackgayrandys1 says over at the Dump, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you think Bradley Manning is a hero and Chris Kyle is not, you may be a DUmmie.
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You may be a DUmmy if your candidate beat his opponent by 22 points in New Hampshire, but she ends up leaving with an equal number of NH delegates.
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Don't forget to kick the cat.
Can't kick the cat. My Korean neighbors ate it for dinner one night. :tongue:
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If one presumes their life hangs in the balance over an election, one may be a (D)Ummie.
(hat tip to Maverick1987)
CMD
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If you think a politician, (any politician), has your best interests at stake, and will make your life better if you vote for him/her, you are definitely a DUmmie...
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If you think a politician, (any politician), has your best interests at stake, and will make your life better if you vote for him/her, you are definitely a DUmmie...
If you believe the words "I am from the government and I am here to help" are not a reason for complete terror, you are a unquestionably a DUmmie.
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If you think that the 2014 elections in the senate were a mandate to rubber stamp obozos nominees, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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If you think that the 2014 elections in the senate were a mandate to rubber stamp obozos nominees, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
The "Shumer Rule", circa 2007.
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If you claim "elections matter" and refer to obozo being elected a second time within discussion of the current supreme court vacancy, but have a hole in your memory where the midterm elections of 2014 are concerned, you may be a (D)Ummie.
CMD
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You may be a DUmmy if your candidate beat his opponent by 22 points in New Hampshire, but she ends up leaving with an equal number of NH delegates.
Being a socialist, Bernie should be in love with that outcome.
Socialism can really hurt when it hits home!