The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Mr Mannn on January 27, 2016, 10:00:40 AM

Title: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Mr Mannn on January 27, 2016, 10:00:40 AM
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/car-crash/pantless-man-in-fatal-crash-639205
Cops: Pantsless Motorist Killed In Crash Was Masturbating While Watching Porn Flick On His Phone

Quote
A Detroit man who died early Sunday in a one-car crash was pantsless and masturbating while watching a pornographic movie on his cell phone, according to police who investigated the accident.

The rollover crash occurred around 3:40 AM as motorist Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was driving a 1996 Toyota on a freeway near Interstate 75.

Michigan State Police officials report that Jones became "distracted" while watching the film and lost control of the car, which overturned. Jones, who was not wearing a seat belt, was partially ejected through the car’s sun roof and died on the scene,

Accident investigators discovered that Jones, who was alone in the Toyota, was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.

let the puns begin...
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Big Dog on January 27, 2016, 10:57:55 AM
So, coming and going.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: FlaGator on January 27, 2016, 05:27:42 PM
I think I was married to his sister years ago.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Ptarmigan on January 27, 2016, 10:06:16 PM
What is his DU name?
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Big Dog on January 27, 2016, 10:49:22 PM
What is his DU name?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

(http://cdn.meme.am/images/300x/13385137.jpg)
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: SVPete on January 28, 2016, 07:51:25 AM
Sooooo ... going blind was just the starter?
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 28, 2016, 07:54:18 AM
He was on his way to a killer orgasm . . . :whistling:
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Fourwinds on January 28, 2016, 09:18:15 AM
Well that's one way to be remembered.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: thundley4 on January 28, 2016, 09:31:08 AM
Eulogy: "He died doing what he loved."
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 28, 2016, 10:54:58 AM
In honor of his memory we won't be having a funeral for him...

...we'll just watch videos of other people's funerals.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Lacarnut on January 28, 2016, 07:22:41 PM
He shot his last load.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on January 29, 2016, 01:00:07 AM
La petite mort.  :rofl:


Its a french euphemism for orgasm which actually means the little death.


 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


CMD



Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Ptarmigan on January 29, 2016, 09:29:04 PM
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

(http://cdn.meme.am/images/300x/13385137.jpg)

How about rabbit dinner?

(https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5137/5509437503_cce1ae9b62_b_d.jpg)
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: Big Dog on January 29, 2016, 11:12:07 PM
How about rabbit dinner?

(https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5137/5509437503_cce1ae9b62_b_d.jpg)

I've never heard of "choking the rabbit", but I don't hang around with ptarmigans.
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 31, 2016, 05:57:06 PM
La petite mort.  :rofl:


Its a french euphemism for orgasm which actually means the little death.


 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


CMD

It was a pretty big death, no? :whistling:
Title: Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on January 31, 2016, 11:29:13 PM
It was a pretty big death, no? :whistling:


He will never tell.


CMD