The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on November 27, 2015, 06:05:18 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/11516064
It's always good to see someone recover, getting back to their old self.
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 10:37 AM
aahhh the holidays. whose holidays are gonna suck?
my turkey day will be better than last year, as i am going out for dim sum w some dear friends.
but the ex got the holidays in the divorce. so he is doing the turkey thing w the kids. out of the 5, 2 dont speak to me, one is far away, 1 is a pain in my ass right now.
so, my cooking a turkey wouldnt help at all.
last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me.
this year i asked the youngest (22yo) to see if i could get a little more parity. i doubt they would exactly repeat all that anyway.
also told her that i would like to see her sister. not sure how true that even is, as i am pretty deeply wounded by the silence, and the bs that has caused it. the kid has some real issues, and imho, therapist help ingrain some delusions in her mind. her memories of her childhood are seriously screwed up. but since she barely excepts how sick she was/is, she cant seem to accept that her brain might have recorded things "wrong".
but i do miss her.
the oldest is just plain lost to me. i mostly have accepted that. the ex did her some real dirt, the true redheaded stepchild. no taking that back. i chose him over her, and the fact that i finally dumped him will not matter.
she was a hard child to raise from jump street. but in her mind she was a little angel.
c'est la vie.
wish the far away child was interested in coming home for a visit, but he is pretty content where he is. we have an itchy but loving relationship. everything i say strikes him as an attack of some sort. trying to figure that out and watch what i say. but.....
maybe next year.
anyway? anyone else care to share their tales of woe?
Tobin S. (8,135 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 10:43 AM
1. The only thing bad about this Thanksgiving for me is
that my wife has to work today. She works in retail so you know how that goes. She doesn't have to be in until 4pm, though, so we are going to be able to celebrate early and do the big dinner for lunch time.
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 11:23 AM
2. give her a hug for me.
really good to see things going well for you, my friend.
may your blessings keep growing.
Good on Big Mo, blessing overalled Tobin like that.
HereSince1628 (33,265 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 11:27 AM
3. Currently enjoying blissful moment of peace and quiet...
The SO has turned her attention from the newspaper to her private world on facebook.
She can't read the newspaper or watch tv without keeping up a disjointed stream of conciousness prattle.
It almost completely goes away once she is reacting to texting her BFF's
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 12:05 PM
4. thank you for reminding me.
tho the silence is a little deafening around here, it beats the tension and the bullshit of days now dead.
mostly that is how i feel about it. took almost a year to get over the feeling of walking on eggshells all the time, and sometimes i forget to be grateful for the feeling of firm footing.
starting to really feel like i am my authentic self. been dating someone and somewhat shocked at how much i am enjoying it. especially since i dont think it is actually gonna go anywhere. just a carpe diem sort of thing. pretty surprised at that at 61.
peace and low stress my friend.
Then some self-pitying primitive, not worth copying-and-pasting.
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 04:29 PM
10. tcg, i am alone right now.
i had a nice lunch w a friend, and made a couple new one meeting his family. it was a good time, but it was only a few hours.
i have a couple other people here- an old friend that rents a room and a 24 yo who suffers from depression and wont get help. he can get his life started. i have tossed him out a few times, but he always comes back. (so far)
but even they are gone today. so it is just me and the critters. which, thank god for critters. if i didnt have my pets, especially my dogs, i am not sure i would have gotten through the last 2 years.
it is getting a little better as the legal bs gets sorted out.
but starting over at my age, 61 now, is tough.
i do intend to tho, if i can. i dont want to get old alone.
have done a little bit of dating, and it has been pretty good. dont quite have my mojo back, but at least now i remember what it is to have one.
but- this is my favorite joke-
dating at my age is tough. men are like parking places. all the good ones are taken and all the available ones are handicapped.
imma keep circling the block, tho. it isnt gonna get any easier if i wait around.
glad you posted.
Good Old Mo, keeping her sense of humor.
ThingsGottaChange (961 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 06:28 PM
11. Thanks for that, Mo
Been here such a long time and rarely post. I've mostly been alone except for always having a few kitties. They are my only reason for being. I've been a mess since 4-5 yrs old. Wouldn't know a 'happy time" if it hit me in the face. I can't imagine getting much older anyway. I don't know how to do the 'life' stuff. I can love other people. Just not myself. And we know that doesn't work.
You are all such wonderful people. And my heart breaks when I read some of the stories here. But, I am just exhausted. Much too tired to pretend I know how to relate to people. It is what it is. Wish you all the best, Mo. You have the attitude I wish I could have been raised with. My sig says how I feel and how I grew up. No more talk today.
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 06:49 PM
12. i've had a tough life, too.
tough childhood. long, shitty marriage. difficult kids. lots of episodes of depression. (meds really helping that now.)
kinda feel like i am in one of those spots where i can reinvent myself some. sorta having fun playing the cougar thing a bit, tho i refuse to color my hair.
but i do have good friends. so much more so now that i am a free woman. and have a cleaning lady.
take care dear.
ThingsGottaChange (961 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 09:04 PM
13. Pretty FAB!
Friends, cleaning lady, positive attitude. You are doing good. I'm on disability, low income housing and they're trying to raise the rent by $40. Twenty year old pickup won't start. Where does the money come from? That was possibly going to be my home someday. Parents knew my sisters and I were being sexually abused by a relative. Did nothing. Barely noticed us, ever, actually. I did have a best friend for over 50 years. (my only friend. Too insecure to make other ones) A couple years ago she decided we shouldn't communicate anymore because I wouldn't fix myself. Pretty sure she went all goddy and of course then you just get fixed automatically. Yep. A charmed life for sure.
^^^sounds like a barrel of fun to be around.
mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 11:03 PM
14. at least the shitty marriage was to someone w a good job.
tho he never gave any credit to the fact that a full time wife and a bunch of kids looks good to tptb. a hidden asset that he never acknowledged. the fact that he NEVER had to take time off for a sick kid to go to the doctor, never had to take report card day off, never had to make the kind of compromises that the other dads he worked w w working working wives had to make. it greased the skids for him.
but from the get go in the divorce i have said that the judge would be far more generous to me than he ever was or would be. and so it is.
i get to be my own person now. finally.
my life is good.
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A last-minute bid for DOTY.
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and the bs that has caused it. the kid has some real issues, and imho, therapist help ingrain some delusions in her mind. her memories of her childhood are seriously screwed up.
The one with the fractured skull that you just happened to not notice?
Child abuse is more likely.
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In all those problem people she mentions one thing is the common factor and yet everyone else is the problem. Mopinko the mirror speaks a truth you seem unwilling to accept. Sounds like you threw your own children under the bus in that marriage for your own comfort. No other way to explain such a cavalier attitude towards ones own flesh and blood and your professed blood, swear, amd tears raising them as a stay at home mom except they always were just means to an end. Sad. Talk about greasing the skids...sounds like your kids did that for her so she could live off the old mans money pretending to be a downtown farmer. But as long as she's herself...**** everyone else.
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mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 06:49 PM
kinda feel like i am in one of those spots where i can reinvent myself some. sorta having fun playing the cougar thing a bit, tho i refuse to color my hair.
I just threw up in my mouth a bit.
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mopinko (44,897 posts) Thu Nov 26, 2015, 10:37 AM
aahhh the holidays. whose holidays are gonna suck?
my turkey day will be better than last year, as i am going out for dim sum w some dear friends.
but the ex got the holidays in the divorce. so he is doing the turkey thing w the kids. out of the 5, 2 dont speak to me, one is far away, 1 is a pain in my ass right now.
so, my cooking a turkey wouldnt help at all.
last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me.
this year i asked the youngest (22yo) to see if i could get a little more parity. i doubt they would exactly repeat all that anyway.
also told her that i would like to see her sister. not sure how true that even is, as i am pretty deeply wounded by the silence, and the bs that has caused it. the kid has some real issues, and imho, therapist help ingrain some delusions in her mind. her memories of her childhood are seriously screwed up. but since she barely excepts how sick she was/is, she cant seem to accept that her brain might have recorded things "wrong".
but i do miss her.
the oldest is just plain lost to me. i mostly have accepted that. the ex did her some real dirt, the true redheaded stepchild. no taking that back. i chose him over her, and the fact that i finally dumped him will not matter.
she was a hard child to raise from jump street. but in her mind she was a little angel.
c'est la vie.
wish the far away child was interested in coming home for a visit, but he is pretty content where he is. we have an itchy but loving relationship. everything i say strikes him as an attack of some sort. trying to figure that out and watch what i say. but.....
maybe next year.
anyway? anyone else care to share their tales of woe?
DUmmies are highly negativistic. They feed and give their negativity to others. DUmmies are depressing people to be around. :mental:
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but the ex got the holidays in the divorce. so he is doing the turkey thing w the kids. out of the 5, 2 dont speak to me, one is far away, 1 is a pain in my ass right now.
so, my cooking a turkey wouldnt help at all.
last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me.
this year i asked the youngest (22yo) to see if i could get a little more parity. i doubt they would exactly repeat all that anyway.
1.) "(T)he ex got the holidays in the divorce", but, "the youngest (22yo)"? Hello! The youngest has been an adult for 4 years! Making his/her decisions about holiday celebrations for 4 years! Mo needs to look in her mirror, long and hard, to try to see the reasons why.
2.) "last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me." Ummmm dinner is in the evening ... getting back to her place at 8PM is far from late ... and if Mo was in bed, how does she know they didn't look around and come to the conclusion she had sacked out? What a wallower in self-pity!
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Waaa! Waaa! One of my four favorite kids lives on the other side of the International Dateline! We had to settle for FaceTiming with her! Waaa! Waaa!
Mo needs to find ways to enjoy what she has and build on that rather than lamenting that her reality doesn't resemble her fantasy desires.
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I'm with you sv. All her children are adults yet somehow a divorce decree decides where they go. Damn talk about self delusion. I'm guessing her problems go well beyond standard bickering. My young adult, with whom I often butt heads, went to her bf family this year 4 hours away which ended up being close to where I was and she still stopped by to see her mom and eat with us. She didn't have to but did anyway. The fact her kids don't even want to bother says a lot about the relationships there. Hell even my bf ex is a nutbattery and finding herself but hasn't managed to alienate her own children to the point they can't even spare more than a few minutes at the holidays. Sounds like someone needs counseling Allright and its not the offspring.
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I don't have experience in divorce settlements and such, but my thinking is that if Mo's ex got the kids on holidays, that means she got them most of the rest of the year. IOW, she, mostly, raised them, and they know her quite well. IOW:
:ownit:
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1.) "(T)he ex got the holidays in the divorce", but, "the youngest (22yo)"? Hello! The youngest has been an adult for 4 years! Making his/her decisions about holiday celebrations for 4 years! Mo needs to look in her mirror, long and hard, to try to see the reasons why.
2.) "last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me." Ummmm dinner is in the evening ... getting back to her place at 8PM is far from late ... and if Mo was in bed, how does she know they didn't look around and come to the conclusion she had sacked out? What a wallower in self-pity!
Most likely the "kids" saw mom passed out yet again from the medicinal MJ.
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I don't have experience in divorce settlements and such, but my thinking is that if Mo's ex got the kids on holidays, that means she got them most of the rest of the year. IOW, she, mostly, raised them, and they know her quite well. IOW:
:ownit:
[/quote
Frank probably knows better but I don't think it even rises to that. Most of the kids were grown or late teens for the youngest I believe before they even seperate so this whole he got the kids thing is a moot point. Kids that are adults and late teens make thier own decisions on that. She's deluding herself in other words into thinking the kids are forced there. They were all old enough to make thier own choices which meant they actively chose time with the one parent over the other. Something she wants tp chalk up tp a failing in her children rather than any of her own doing ie typical liberal who takes responsibility for nothing in other words.
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Typical DUmmie, everything wrong in their life is someone else's fault, never their own. :yawn:
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she was a hard child to raise from jump street. but in her mind she was a little angel.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
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I just threw up in my mouth a bit.
Bedding the Crazy Chicken Lady would be like masturbating with a welding glove.
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Bedding the Crazy Chicken Lady would be like masturbating with a welding glove.
All you'd need is a rod.