The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Big Dog on June 13, 2015, 12:39:13 PM

Title: The Evolution of Dewey
Post by: Big Dog on June 13, 2015, 12:39:13 PM
Posted in the DUmpster for obvious reasons. Trigger Warning: contains words and  images which may cause pearl clutchers to faint dead away.

I recently came out as a black Basset hound named Dewey, trapped in a white man's body.

So far, I haven't been able to cash in on the announcement, the way Bruce Jenner did by having those dual airbags installed and calling himself "Caitlyn". TLC hasn't called, offering me a contract for a TV show. Hell, I haven't even heard back from Purina about that endorsement deal (and I don't even like Purina- oops, I may just have sunk that deal).

I'm an articulate and lovably ugly hound, and I thought I had it all: trans-species and trans-racial. Offers should be piling up like dog shit on a DUmmy's front lawn, right?  But, noooooo.

After giving it some thought, I figured something must be missing. But what? Then, when I was lying on the front porch and licking my balls, it came to me: I need to evolve, again.

There is only one thing left to evolve into. After all, I have loved licking pussies since I was a young pup:

(http://i1299.photobucket.com/albums/ag72/conscave/puplicking_zpszscnitax.jpg)
Authentic photo of Dewey as a pup.

So, I formally announce that I now self-identify as a Lesbian Black Basset Hound named Dewey, trapped in the body of a straight white man.  I expect the full support of GLAAD, the NAACP, and the ASPCA.

(http://41.media.tumblr.com/de33d3cf59be72a6779f1aacd24e96f6/tumblr_nnuwh6AiFd1qfp4q7o1_400.jpg)
OK, I don't look black; but who are you going to trust- me, or your lyin' eyes?

If TLC doesn't want to sign me, maybe Animal Planet will be interested.
Title: Re: The Evolution of Dewey
Post by: Big Dog on June 13, 2015, 12:48:26 PM
Things are looking up!:

(http://clubrunner.blob.core.windows.net/00000002165/Images/VM.jpg)

Sure, she's kinky, but what's a little roleplay and bondage between friends, anyway?
Title: Re: The Evolution of Dewey
Post by: obumazombie on June 13, 2015, 04:57:14 PM
I am also black, but for other reasons.
Title: Re: The Evolution of Dewey
Post by: landofconfusion80 on June 13, 2015, 08:44:50 PM
Quote from: obumazombie on June 13, 2015, 04:57:14 PM
I am also black, but for other reasons.

stood too close to the grill?
Title: Re: The Evolution of Dewey
Post by: I_B_Perky on June 13, 2015, 10:12:48 PM
Quote from: Big Dog on June 13, 2015, 12:48:26 PM
Things are looking up!:

(http://clubrunner.blob.core.windows.net/00000002165/Images/VM.jpg)

Sure, she's kinky, but what's a little roleplay and bondage between friends, anyway?

Look into the Direct TV gig. Hanna and her Horse? Pfffft!!  Hanna and her Big Dog would be waaay better!!!   :tongue: