The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on May 22, 2015, 12:44:37 AM

Title: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: FlippyDoo on May 22, 2015, 12:44:37 AM
Some of you may remember that back in the middle of 2014 I became a reporter with press credentials and everything (see link here:  http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=96430.0 ). Recently I’ve been thinking of making the Fictional Spirit-Guide News Network into a world-wide media outlet. I’ve even been looking at blog sites to find the right fit for me.

Just keep in mind that something like this takes time. Maybe six months to a year. Right now I’m working on the wording for the standard “please give me a donation” button that all real media outlets have.

While the above work is proceeding, I’ve been thinking about personnel and topic coverage.

For the Women’s Concern section I’m thinking offering the job to BainsBane. Say what you will about her, there’s at least two things about her that lifts her above the rest. Sure, she may turn it into a screaming harpy section, but men won’t be reading that section anyway. So who cares?

For the Pre-school Children section I’m thinking about seabeyond. I think it is a perfect fit. In most cases pre-school children do not have much (if any) reading comprehension skills, and sea beyond does not have much (if any) writing skills. Yes, the children won’t know what she’s writing, but neither will anyone else.

For the School-Age Children section I’m thinking about asking diabeticman. I figure he could engross the children with the once upon a time tales about his “wife”.

For the College Age section I’m thinking about Wee Willie. I figure they can possible discuss partying.

To bring this all together I’ll need a linchpin. Someone that can report the crunchy news with the best of them. Someone that knows all there is to know about all that is to be known and has a good rig. Yup. That be nads.

All of the above would have to understand that until the “please give me a donation” big bucks start pouring in that their salaries will be exactly $0; however, I will pay them time and a half for any overtime and double time on holidays.

We’d also occasionally need some guest commentators. Maybe even someone to offer counterpoints to the above news staff. I hope that maybe coach and Big Dog could rotate in that capacity whenever they have some spare time.

Granted, all of the above would be excellent fits, but I still need a couple of people to act as editors. I thought for that it’d be best to shop at home. I’m thinking maybe Mr. Mannn because he’s a journalist dammit and GOBUCKS because he knows what be retardant.

Finally, to be a real organization we need someone over Human Resources. Someone who could soothe bruised egos. Someone who would offer a friendly pat on the back of the news staff and offer a should to cry on. Naturally, the first person to come to mind in this role was dutch.

So there it is. The proposed makeup of the future world-wide media outlet known as the Fictional Spirit-Guide News Network. Possibly soon coming to a blog…I mean news site…near you. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see unless any of us has some organic pineapple juice.

Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Chris_ on May 22, 2015, 01:07:57 AM
I am looking forward to seeing more current events and news reports from FSGNN.  I will keep an eye out for you on my satellite program guide.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: obumazombie on May 22, 2015, 05:43:40 AM
When you cross the rubicon, maybe you can get a spot or 2 on Big Dog's new media giant radio show.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on May 22, 2015, 09:36:02 AM
Does this outlet need a systems administrator? If so, I know a guy named Doug who is looking for a job.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 22, 2015, 09:44:19 AM
Does this outlet need a systems administrator? If so, I know a guy named Doug who is looking for a job.

Ain't he out looking for a hidden remote somewhere? :whistling:
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Big Dog on May 22, 2015, 10:47:48 AM
That's a great idea, Flippy! Count me in.

We’d also occasionally need some guest commentators. Maybe even someone to offer counterpoints to the above news staff. I hope that maybe coach and Big Dog could rotate in that capacity whenever they have some spare time.

My contract stipulates bacon and busty redheads. I'm sure we can work something out.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: GOBUCKS on May 22, 2015, 12:52:06 PM
Quote
Granted, all of the above would be excellent fits, but I still need a couple of people to act as editors. I thought for that it’d be best to shop at home. I’m thinking maybe Mr. Mannn because he’s a journalist dammit and GOBUCKS because he knows what be retardant.
(http://i883.photobucket.com/albums/ac32/gobucksnumbers/retardant_zps9mlw0vvf.jpg?1432310111938&1432310113963)
That be retardant.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Skul on May 22, 2015, 04:17:45 PM
That's a great idea, Flippy! Count me in.

My contract stipulates bacon and busty redheads. I'm sure we can work something out.
Isn't the PhDD, a redhead?   :rotf:
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Big Dog on May 22, 2015, 05:01:04 PM
Isn't the PhDD, a redhead?   :rotf:

Brother, that was cold.

 :lmao:
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: FlippyDoo on May 22, 2015, 05:03:52 PM
Brother, that was cold.

 :lmao:

Don't be too harsh on him 'cause I thought you meant you wanted the outlet to spring for nads a red wig. Now I see you said "busty" and not "nutsy". My bad.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on May 22, 2015, 05:38:32 PM
Quote
For the School-Age Children section I’m thinking about asking diabeticman. I figure he could engross the children with the once upon a time tales about his “wife”.

The biggest problem I see with that is the kids could pick up some of his spelling and grammar faults.  Maybe with a lot of editing it would work, though.
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Mr Mannn on May 22, 2015, 07:56:36 PM
Quote
For the School-Age Children section I’m thinking about asking diabeticman. I figure he could engross the children with the once upon a time tales about his “wife”.
DB could tie her into cute balloon animals. Kids love that!
Title: Re: My new world-wide media outlet
Post by: Big Dog on May 23, 2015, 12:26:16 AM
DB could tie her into cute balloon animals. Kids love that!

 :lmao: