The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Chris_ on July 14, 2008, 07:21:01 PM
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Cops: Woman Battered Beau With Toilet Seat
JULY 14--Meet Kimberlee Ann Cole and Joel Goldsmith. The Florida woman, 18, allegedly assaulted her boyfriend with a toilet seat after finding him smoking crack in a bathroom of their home Friday afternoon. Cole told cops she battered Goldsmith, 24, after he "refused to give her the drugs," according to an arrest affidavit prepared by Fort Pierce police. Goldsmith "refused to stop smoking the drugs and Ms. Cole hit [him] with the toilet seat,"
LINKY DINK W/ PICS (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0714081toilet1.html)
Yep, you guessed it....in Florida. :-)
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Never bring drugs to a toilet seat fight.
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
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Crazy crackheads will do anything. They were probably using the toilet seat to smoke their rocks with.
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
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Crazy crackheads will do anything. They were probably using the toilet seat to smoke their rocks with.
I'm starting to channel Schade. I thought you said, "Crazy Crackaheads" at first glance.
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
Hardly. I'm irresistable. :-*
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
:agree:.....not a chance....call me a moron and you are soooooo resistible....
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
Hardly. I'm irresistable. :-*
Some how I doubt it. If you are half the smart a$$ to her as you are to me you would be in trouble more often than you'd be "gettin' any".
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
Hardly. I'm irresistable. :-*
Some how I doubt it. If you are half the smart a$$ to her as you are to me you would be in trouble more often than you'd be "gettin' any".
I-wuv-ewe :innocent:
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I don't have to worry about this. At our house, the toilet seat is attached to the toilet bowl by bolts and nuts.
Good thing I'm not your wife, I change the toilet seats at least twice a year (sometimes more). I am a tad anal (pun intended) about clean toilet seats. That would give me plenty of opportunity to hit you upside the head with a toilet seat.
We change ours about that often, but I am the only one who ever sees the changing of the seats. My wife just thinks they last a really long time.
Believe it or not, I can change a toilet seat all by myself. :innocent:
I tell my wife when she's proud of mastering a task, "It's simple. Any moron can do it. You're perfect for the job!"
You so would not be getting laid if I were your wife.
Hardly. I'm irresistable. :-*
Some how I doubt it. If you are half the smart a$$ to her as you are to me you would be in trouble more often than you'd be "gettin' any".
I-wuv-ewe :innocent:
...just stirring the pot... :-)
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My wife is lucky I don't shit on the seat...........wait.......... :thatsright:
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My wife is lucky I don't shit on the seat...........wait.......... :thatsright:
On a side note.......if you ever get a chance, cover the opening to the toilet with saran wrap, then see what happens when the wife goes to pee in the middle of the night. Not that I've ever done it, I just want to know what the reaction would be?
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My wife is lucky I don't shit on the seat...........wait.......... :thatsright:
On a side note.......if you ever get a chance, cover the opening to the toilet with saran wrap, then see what happens when the wife goes to pee in the middle of the night. Not that I've ever done it, I just want to know what the reaction would be?
You would be de-throned. :-)
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My wife is lucky I don't shit on the seat...........wait.......... :thatsright:
On a side note.......if you ever get a chance, cover the opening to the toilet with saran wrap, then see what happens when the wife goes to pee in the middle of the night. Not that I've ever done it, I just want to know what the reaction would be?
When I was in college, a couple of lifetimes ago....I was a little sister for Sigma Chi. One of the things we did when the pledges were going through.....was we "pimped" the house.
Basically we did semi-destructive stuff with food, Easter egg dye, and stuff like saran wrap. If we didn't get caught by any of the brothers.....the pledges had to clean it up.....if we got caught then we would have to clean it up.
We found that doing it about 3am after Monday Night Football was a good time to do it.....and not get caught.
We covered all the toilets with saran wrap and then put the lids down. Heard it wasn't pretty. :-)
We took pancake syrup and poured it down the hallways (they were tile) and then sprinkled cornflakes, sugar and flour in it.....it dried nicely..... :-)
We unscrewed the shower heads and put Easter egg dye tablets in them, then screwed them back on.....red, purple, green and orange bodies..... :rotf:
We covered room door handles with honey and the doors to the outside with vaseline....made it harder to find us.
We squirted mustard and ketchup in the sinks.
We never did get caught.....but we were on the pledges shit list for a couple of weeks.... :rotf:
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Sigma Chi's are fags.......Just sayin'.
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Sigma Chi's are fags.......Just sayin'.
I preferred Gotta Tappa Keg.
:-)