The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Eupher on October 07, 2022, 10:40:51 AM
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You KNOW it's a BEE thing, right? (https://babylonbee.com/news/are-a-you-homophobic-bigot-7-troubling-signs)
Being a homophobic bigot is one of the worst things you can be. It's just like being Hitler! To make sure you're not a homophobic bigot, keep an eye out for these eight troubling signs. If you show any one of these symptoms, get help immediately.
- You didn't show up for the midnight screening of Bros in full cosplay: You wore pants and everything. Not good!
- You don't really care for soccer: If you're not a major fan of humanity's gayest sport, that's a huge red flag.
- You're married to a woman: You know who else married a woman? Yeah, that's right--Hitler.
- You order black coffee at Starbucks instead of a Pumpkin Spice Latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle: Black coffee is a gateway to the far-right-alt-extremist-right.
- You've never contracted monkeypox: Not even once? BIG yikes.
- You've only seen Rent one time: Multiple viewings are required to keep away the bigotry.
- The Las Vegas Raiders aren't your favorite NFL team: Come on, it's bad enough that you don't care for soccer, but now you don't like the Raiders?
- You love gay people and treat them the same as everyone else but don't 100% support every single one of their lifestyle choices: Disagreeing is hate.
If you or a loved one is showing any of these signs, take them to a pride parade IMMEDIATELY, before they become Hitler.
This is how much of a homophobe I am:
- I don't even know what midnight screenings are, much less go to one. Sounds gay to me.
- Not only do I not care for soccer, I'm not even big on team sports to begin with. That's gotta be homophobe.
- Yep, I'm married to a woman. And she doesn't have purple hair, either.
- Not only do I drink black coffee only, unbesmirched by that goop that many gays like to put in their "coffee" (hint: it stops being coffee when they put that goop in it), I won't even set foot in a Starbucks. That's gotta be homophobe.
- No monkeypox and no AIDS. No joke.
- I don't do NFL, much less the Las Vegas Raiders. Good God, is that an actual team? (Shudder)
- I don't "love" gay people at all. Those I do know I have either worked with as a musician or otherwise know in a professional sense. I do not consort with gays, but I wish them no harm. Since I do not consort with gays, that DEFINITELY makes me a homophobe. Just. not. interested.
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:rotf:
KC
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- You didn't show up for the midnight screening of Bros in full cosplay: You wore pants and everything. Not good!
Well, make an interesting movie with dialogue and an actual story than shoving gay sex into what might have been a good movie. Remember the VERY good movie "The Birdcage"? That was appealing to everyone.
You don't really care for soccer: If you're not a major fan of humanity's gayest sport, that's a huge red flag.
I'm not going to say it's "GAY", but I've never cared for soccer, or European scolds will say "football". Been hearing since the 1980's that soccer is going to be the dominant sport in the U.S. Well...we're still waiting.
You're married to a woman: You know who else married a woman? Yeah, that's right--Hitler.
Much like Hitler, I have been married to a woman. I must be a Nazi.
You order black coffee at Starbucks instead of a Pumpkin Spice Latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle: Black coffee is a gateway to the far-right-alt-extremist-right.
Fru-fru coffee sucks, and Starbucks is gawd-awful. Yes, I put some Sweet-N-Low in mine, but can drink it black as well.
You've never contracted monkeypox: Not even once? BIG yikes.
Personally don't have random gay anal sex so I'm not in the risk group.
You've only seen Rent one time: Multiple viewings are required to keep away the bigotry.
Quick story, took my future ex-wife to see "Rent" performed live at a theater in Chicago. I've seen about a dozen other musicals, and "Rent" was dreadfully awful. Hey look, a bunch of gay artists living in squalor singing about how bad life and society is. The tickets were incredibly expensive in relative 1990's terms, and then the cast came parading about asking for donations in between acts.
The Las Vegas Raiders aren't your favorite NFL team: Come on, it's bad enough that you don't care for soccer, but now you don't like the Raiders?
I don't understand what this means, is there some gay component to it?
You love gay people and treat them the same as everyone else but don't 100% support every single one of their lifestyle choices: Disagreeing is hate.
Have numerous dear gay friends and really don't care who the hell they sleep with.
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Pretty funny. Good parody.
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:lmao: :rotf:
LOS ANGELES, CA — The gay romantic comedy Bros saw a disappointing first weekend at the box office. Box office analysts are shocked that a movie aimed at 2% of the population fell short of attracting a broader audience.
"Once again, straight Americans have failed the gay community at the box office – we said the movie was not for cis-hetero oppressors, and they still failed to show up!" Director and star Billy Eichner sent a series of tweets condemning straight viewers for failing to see the movie that he had specified was not for them.
Industry analysts have weighed in, confirming that they do not expect global ticket sales to exceed domestic sales, since even fewer people in international audiences are part of the target audience for the film, and also since most Middle-Eastern and Asian countries announced the death penalty for anyone caught watching it.
Eichner seems to recognize that the domestic box office haul is pivotal, as his Tweets condemned "all the philistine homophobes who don't want to see my gay movie!" The analysts have also suggested that timing may have been an issue, as there were several major league soccer games occurring at the same time.
At publishing time, Bros director Billy Eichner was seen covering his movie's posters and box office placards with Morbius ads to trick more people into buying tickets.
https://babylonbee.com/news/movie-targeting-2-of-americans-fails-at-box-office?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email
(https://babylonbee.com/news/movie-targeting-2-of-americans-fails-at-box-office?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email)
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Ralphie, Re your post yesterday ...
Quick story, took my future ex-wife to see "Rent" performed live at a theater in Chicago. etc. etc.
Sorry to read about the state of your marriage darlin' ...
She must have been a real DUD, as you seem to me, to be a real "catch" of a guy.
Oh well, such is life! AS I once said & sang :-) to my son when he got divorced in the past https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-eclUz-RYI
Hugs ~ ABC
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Rats! Ralphie ...
Forgot to mention my 2 most pertinent lines from that song.
"Along with the sunshine, you gotta get a little rain sometime" ...
And "You gotta look before you leap, still waters run deep." etc.
Or words to that effect.
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Bros - I seldom see movies, and "Bros" doesn't interest me.
Soccer - Boh-Ring! Pro sports, generally, have made me a non-fan.
Married ... - I'm married to a woman and have been and will be faithful to her.
Pumpkin spice latte' - On the occasion I go to a Starchuck's I usually get a caramel macchiato. That's once every month or two. I usually grind and brew for myself and my family.
Monkeypox - I won't be getting it as an STD, since I don't mess around on my wife, and with current social distancing and lingering reticence, I'm not likely to get it at all.
Rent - The only theatre show I've seen was "Fiddler on the Roof", and that was decades ago. I have no plans to see "Rent".
Oakland ... LA ... Oakland ... Las Vegas Traitors - I've been a non-fan for a couple of decades, and with the NFL going woke, scroom all.
Treat gays like people - Their lifestyle choices don't make them non-human. I remember Paul's words after that list of sins in 1 Corinthians 6, "And such were some of you." As best I can, I try to be decent with whomever, though some whomevers can and do alter that with their behavior.