Author Topic: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report  (Read 441 times)

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Offline Eupher

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Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« on: February 01, 2023, 08:53:14 AM »
It's not quite as weird as it might seem, but it does get one's attention...

Quote
A man's penis was discovered at a gas station in Alabama earlier this week, reports say.

According to Lagniappe, a weekly newspaper which covers news in the Mobile and Baldwin County, Alabama, areas, police received a call on Monday morning about "a human penis" that had been discovered at Midtown Mobile, a gas station in Mobile, Alabama.

Perhaps even more surprising than that initial report was Lagniappe's follow-up report, which claimed, "As of 4 p.m. Monday, Jan. 30, the Mobile Police Department stated the incident is not being investigated as an assault or murder."

\u201cMultiple sources have confirmed to Lagniappe that a human penis was found at a gas station Monday morning in Midtown Mobile. https://t.co/qJWELUOdQA\u201d
— Lagniappe (@Lagniappe) 1675103047

However, according to the Daily Caller, police also offered a reasonable explanation for why they do not suspect foul play in the case. Earlier that morning, 29-year-old Christopher Means had been riding his motorcycle "Southbound on I-65" when he attempted to merge onto I-10, a police report stated. Unfortunately while on the I-10 ramp, Means lost control of his motorcycle and was thrown into traffic.

"Multiple vehicles" allegedly struck the victim, who was pronounced dead at the scene, but only one driver remained in the area to discuss the circumstances surrounding the fatality with police. Investigators are still searching for the other drivers who were involved.

As only Glenn Beck can report: LOL

https://www.theblaze.com/news/severed-penis-discovered-in-gas-station-parking-lot-report
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Offline Old n Grumpy

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2023, 04:08:07 PM »
Has Lorena Bobbit been seen in the vicinity? :-) :lmao:
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2023, 05:31:22 PM »
Has Lorena Bobbit been seen in the vicinity? :-) :lmao:

I was thinking we had a HilLIARy sighting. I know if I ever laid eyes on that soulless bitch, my member would shrivel up and fall off.

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Offline FlaGator

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2023, 02:22:57 PM »
I'm sure someone will report it missing.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2023, 06:15:09 PM »
I'm sure someone will report it missing.

 :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:

Ya think? Unless he's dead, of course.

 :hi5:
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
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Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Eupher

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2023, 06:17:21 PM »
Has Lorena Bobbit been seen in the vicinity? :-) :lmao:

Dunno, but she ain't lookin' too bad at all. Definitely milf territory.  :whistling:

https://heavy.com/entertainment/2020/05/lorena-bobbitt-update-today-now/
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline enslaved1

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Re: Severed penis discovered in gas station parking lot: Report
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2023, 10:25:38 AM »
Romans 6:17-18 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.