Author Topic: Nine Signs Your Wife Drove Your Car Last  (Read 160 times)

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Offline Eupher

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Nine Signs Your Wife Drove Your Car Last
« on: September 18, 2023, 10:28:38 AM »
We've all been there - surveying a scratch on the side of the car, or a missing hubcap, and wondering - who the heck drove last? Here are 9 clues that your wife was the last one behind the wheel:

1. You were buried beneath an avalanche of empty Starbucks cups when you opened the door and are now dead - Yup, probably your wife.
2. The driver's seat is positioned so a tiny gnome can fit comfortably - How women drive like this, no man will ever know.
3. There's a mailbox in the radiator - Always a telltale sign.
4. There are hairbands everywhere. Like, everywhere - They're like deer tracks, but for your wife.
5. Taylor Swift is still playing on the radio - Obviously, you would never...
6. There's a new 'Baby on Board' sticker - HOLD UP, she's pregnant??
7. Not exaggerating, there are hairbands EVERYWHERE. The cupholder, the floor, the side door compartment - How can one woman possibly need so many headbands? What does she even do with them all?
8. The front is smashed, the airbags are deployed, fluid is leaking out the bottom, and it's currently being towed - Subtle, but a strong indicator.
9. Like, really, there are SO MANY HAIRBANDS! I mean, is she expecting a hairband shortage? Does she have hairband insecurity? Does she just love hairbands that much? Does she have a problem? Is it a cry for help of some kind??? - If you find these thoughts running through your mind, you know without a doubt who drove last.

There you are! Let us know any other signs you've found that let you know your wife had driven the car last!

What can it BEE??

10. The gas tank is empty and the fuel level warning is glowing red-hot.

11. Windshield is cracked. Again.

Scratch Nos. 5 and 6. Neither of us knows who Taylor Swift is, much less listen to its/her/his stuff on the radio. Oh, and the preggo thing was taken care of 40 years ago.

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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: Nine Signs Your Wife Drove Your Car Last
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2023, 12:49:01 PM »
The differences in how we are built explains all the changes I need to make when I get into the driver's seat after my wife has been driving. There are only 2" of difference in height between us, but my height is all in my torso (I've been told by those that know to not even think about getting on a mechanical bull; it won't be pretty) while my wife has the "legs up to here", only for real.

This means that whenever I get in the driver's seat after her, I inevitably:
  • Pull the seat forward a couple of inches
  • Push the seat belt tie point on the B Pillar back up; and
  • Readjust the side and rear view mirrors so that I'm not looking at the ground

After 21 years, it's a small price to pay for being married to the most-est gorgeous-est woman on the planet.  :2ndbase:
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Offline Dblhaul

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Re: Nine Signs Your Wife Drove Your Car Last
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2023, 10:06:32 PM »
I jack knifed my camp trailer getting into a small town fuel pump (why do they hide the diesel tanks?). Put a nice crease in the truck bed 1/4 panel. After 52 years of driving without a dent I have fallen. Cant harass the wife anymore.