lady squawk primitive doesn't get along with family members

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5774225

Oh my.

The lady squawk primitive, who lives off the largesse and generosity and kindness of her "fundie" mother:

Ladyhawk  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 12:47 AM
Original message
 
How to get along with fundy family members:

Never talk about anything important, interesting or remotely funny. Ever.

That is all.

riderinthestorm  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. I find myself depressed after getting together with my mother, a fundy/bigot/Rethug of the worst order.

We discuss the weather, celebrity gossip, gardening tips, recipes, home decor... anything frivolous and innocuous. We can't discuss my husband's stage IV, grade IV lymphoma (up for a stem cell treatment - a big no no for her as it crosses religious lines), or my daughter's relationship with her SO who she's living with ("in sin" - my mom), my sister's divorce from her abusive husband (wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING!!11!!!11), Obama ("negros" who will only look out for their "own" - sniff!), politics in general (Bush is a gawd, Clinton is a horse's ass), whether Faux News and Rush Limbaugh are fact based organizations.....

It's distressing. And you are right, not remotely interesting or funny but stressful and disturbing. I do my penance weekly, and meet with her for lunch, but we are so incompatible I wonder if I simply called it off, if she would breathe a sigh of relief.

Ladyhawk  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
 
4. I have "called it off" with my mother. Twice.

I was serious both times. Later I would realize that doing so helped me to establish boundaries I could not have established any other way.

Yeah, it's hard. It's heartbreaking. As crazy as she can be, I still love my mother.

Tonight I made the mistake of describing a graphic I had made for the game Team Fortress 2:

after which image of something stupid

Uh...Mom didn't like the idea very much. Duh! Now I feel like that little girl caught saying the word "butt." Yeah, "butt" isn't a "bad" word, but I still wasn't allowed to use it. Now I'm making up for those years by learning how to swear like a sailor.

I've made several gamesprays. My "Spy Check" spray has been featured for a couple of weeks now:

http://gamesprays.com/gamespray/author/Ladyhawk/ 

The lady squawk primitive of course calls it off, but then calls it back on again whenever she needs money from mom.

vanlassie  (491 posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
 
2. Decide (CHOOSE) what you want your realtionship to be like

My father is so rabidly FOXwashed- and yet I know we have only so many years left to be in this world together....I recommit often to having this time be a time when we enjoy each other's company- no matter how superficial it sometimes may have to be.....

My purpose is to enjoy this time. And for him to enjoy it as well. It is not to make him think differently about politics. I have to remind myself of my purpose a lot. But it is my choice. Choosing consciously helps.

Webster Green  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 01:13 AM
Response to Original message
 
3. Anything beyond "I love you, Mom" is treading in dangerous territory..

I learned that long ago.

lupinella (16 posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 01:55 AM
Response to Original message
 
5. Depends on the family

Mine I gave up on having a relationship with years ago. Sounds drastic, but I went a decade with minimal contact, but then decided to give it another go. Admittedly there were more issues than a disagreement over religion, but as a bisexual woman who is an atheist, it was plain that having common genetic material does not make a family.

I have many friends who are able to simply avoid conversations or agree to disagree, but for me it was like trying to communicate with aliens. Better luck for you.  As I've often said, they call it a nuclear family due to all of the fall out.

dorkulon (1000+ posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 02:11 AM
Response to Original message
 
6. I didn't realize growing up how lucky I was to be raised by atheists.

They didn't indoctrinate me or say anything at all regarding religion or metaphysics, just let me come to my own conclusions. Guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. Nowadays we agree on most things, just the weekly argument about gay marriage (they're just too old to get it I think--but it proves to me that opposition is not primarily religion-based).

armyowalgreens  (725 posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 02:16 AM
Response to Original message
 
7. My grandma tried to strangle me last week.

I think she was kidding, but not really kidding if you know what I mean. Her hands got pretty tight around my neck.

The reason? I accidentally said that there is no reason to believe that god exists.

The lesson? If you are a godless liberal in an evangelical Christian conservative family, DON'T SAY ANYTHING EVER.

Fumesucker  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 02:34 AM
Response to Original message
 
9. I guess I'm lucky..

I really only have one close family member that's strongly religious, my brother's wife, and she isn't a full blown fundy.

But even then it's hard sometimes when you are an atheist and you have a family member who cannot talk for more than maybe a minute without bringing God, prayer or something else religious into the discussion. The temptation to counter what seems arrant stupidity can be well nigh overwhelming at times and it ends badly often enough to make you very wary of engaging in a lot of discussions.

Strangely enough she almost always agrees with my analysis of scripture, it's more that we disagree on whether scripture has any real meaning or not.

It's interesting though that she has now had a theological falling out with some more fundified members of her family and wants to talk scripture with me more than ever. The reason for this is that my brother is basically pig ignorant about scripture while I have a pretty thorough knowledge from my own confirmation classes and deconversion experience when I was a teen.

My brother is more apatheist than anything and just goes along to get along, thin gruel for someone like his wife who basically lives, eats and breathes religion.

Cleita  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
 
10. Or move not leaving a forwarding address.

That's what my family did.

tavalon  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 08:12 AM
Response to Original message
 
11. Ditch them and go into hiding

My stepbrother came back into my life after 20 years apart and had turned into a rabid right winger fundy. I tried, I really did but well, I ditched him after about two years. Life isn't long enough for that crap.

One assumes the primitive ditched the stepbrother because the stepbrother got tired of the primitive "borrowing" money from him, and finally said "no."

[JohnnyReb]

Are you really surprised that a DUmmie can't get along with family?

....or to quote Gomer Pyle, "Surprise, surprise."

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

You know Frank she was quiet for a long time about her mother. I'm wondering now if she went off her psych meds and this is the result.

[Wineslob]

DUmmies, you treat your own family like shit, over political views. You people are garbage.

[franksolich]

You know Frank she was quiet for a long time about her mother. I'm wondering now if she went off her psych meds and this is the result.

Either that, or her mother was giving her money, and then shut off the wallet.

[ReaganForRushmore]

and they wonder why their lives suck?

[thundley4]

and they wonder why their lives suck?

They're too stoopid to realize that family should should come before politics.

[lastparker]

You know Frank she was quiet for a long time about her mother. I'm wondering now if she went off her psych meds and this is the result.

You might be onto something.......from another thread:

Ladyhawk  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jun-01-09 10:54 PM
Original message
Chime in if you're losing needed services in CA: I'm losing my psychologist.
 I am in serious need of this kind of "service" and now I'm hosed.

How 'bout you?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=5766251

[jtyangel]

You know, it always amazes me how people take advantage of having families who care enough about them to give a crap what they do with their lives(ie don't like that they are gay, etc). These people are so nonchalant about families who love them and work hard to stay connected when I don't get a card for graduation, marriage, new children from my own father. The divide between us is because he really doesn't care and I decided a long time ago not to be close to all that because of real issues that happened growing up, but these people would give up family members that love and care about them simply because they disagree on politics.  What a bunch of scumbags. I wish my relatives cared about me like that, even if they were the biggest moonbats to walk the face of the earth. It's because they are so spoiled with loving family members that they can afford to squabble over such petty things.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

You know, it always amazes me how people take advantage of having families who care enough about them to give a crap what they do with their lives(ie don't like that they are gay, etc). These people are so nonchalant about families who love them and work hard to stay connected when I don't get a card for graduation, marriage, new children from my own father. The divide between us is because he really doesn't care and I decided a long time ago not to be close to all that because of real issues that happened growing up, but these people would give up family members that love and care about them simply because they disagree on politics.  What a bunch of scumbags. I wish my relatives cared about me like that, even if they were the biggest moonbats to walk the face of the earth. It's because they are so spoiled with loving family members that they can afford to squabble over such petty things.

Well jty they are liberals afterall...it seems to be a pattern of behaviour for most of them to rebel against their parents even into their 40 and 50s. Just immaturity in my book!

[jtyangel]

Well jty they are liberals afterall...it seems to be a pattern of behaviour for most of them to rebel against their parents even into their 40 and 50s. Just immaturity in my book!

Yeah, I guess you are right TTTL. Sorry to whine about it. Just burns me up when people take advantage of and for granted families that love them over petty crap.

[Tucker]

Cleita  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
 
10. Or move not leaving a forwarding address.

That's what my family did.

That is some seriously funny stuff. Hardcore. Where ever this guy was ranked, I think he should move up a few notches.

[delilahmused]

riderinthestorm  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jun-03-09 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. I find myself depressed after getting together with my mother, a fundy/bigot/Rethug of the worst order.

We discuss the weather, celebrity gossip, gardening tips, recipes, home decor... anything frivolous and innocuous. We can't discuss my husband's stage IV, grade IV lymphoma (up for a stem cell treatment - a big no no for her as it crosses religious lines), or my daughter's relationship with her SO who she's living with ("in sin" - my mom), my sister's divorce from her abusive husband (wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING!!11!!!11), Obama ("negros" who will only look out for their "own" - sniff!), politics in general (Bush is a gawd, Clinton is a horse's ass), whether Faux News and Rush Limbaugh are fact based organizations.....

It's distressing. And you are right, not remotely interesting or funny but stressful and disturbing. I do my penance weekly, and meet with her for lunch, but we are so incompatible I wonder if I simply called it off, if she would breathe a sigh of relief.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with small talk, it's part of the fabric of our lives. I have my deepest conversations with my sister but we also talk about gardening, kids, pets, the weather, hobbies, etc.

Second, how ****ing depraved do you have to be to outright LIE about your husband's illness and treatment. NO "fundy" is going to have a problem with this because they USE HIS OWN STEM CELLS. His blood is run through a machine that extracts the stem cells from his blood. If you don't know this  and are incapable of explaining it to your mother what the hell kind of a wife are you? My guess, despite whatever "treatment" your mom thinks he's getting, she prays for him every day.

And I know of NO mother worth a damn who wouldn't want her daughter out of an abusive relationship. "Submit" does NOT mean allowing yourself to get the crap beat out of you.

Someday your mother won't be there anymore, is it really worth lying about her to make her seem mean & bigoted just so you can pretend to be a long-suffering saint on an anonymous message board? My mother was a moonbat and an alcoholic but I'm so glad we talked every week. Even if she didn't remember, I did. Now that she's not here, I miss her voice. Maybe she wasn't Donna Reed but she gave me life.

Cindie

[PatriotGame]

Cleita  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jun-03-09 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
 
10. Or move not leaving a forwarding address.

That's what my family did.

That is some seriously funny stuff. Hardcore. Where ever this guy was ranked, I think he should move up a few notches.

The DUmp comedy - it just writes itself man! Can you imagine a moombat liberal being so hatefillet that their PARENTS leave to escape the DUmmyism?

[Karin]

Cindie, I caught that too, about the stem cells.  I didn't row over, did nobody catch her on it, too, like Warpy?  There are no theological or moral issues with this stem cell treatment.  What a freakin liar.  It's just knee jerk  "anything to do with stem cells = fundie rethuglican control freaks!"  Lying sack of shit.


Now.  Cleita, did his/her whole family move away and not leave an address for him/her?  Did I read that right? 

[Tucker]

Now.  Cleita, did his/her whole family move away and not leave an address for him/her?  Did I read that right? 

That's the way I read it.

[The Village Idiot]

That's the way I read it.

hahahaha

wow