The Conservative Cave
Interests => Religious Discussions => Topic started by: ChuckJ on November 23, 2012, 05:48:01 AM
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On November 7, my nephew and his wife had their first child. I baby girl named Emma Grace.
I just got off the phone with my mother. Emma Grace died this morning. I'm walking out the door now to head their way.
I'm asking for prayers for my nephew and his wife. They are a young couple that have not been married very long. I can't imagine what they are going through right now.
Thanks.
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On November 7, my nephew and his wife had their first child. I baby girl named Emma Grace.
I just got off the phone with my mother. Emma Grace died this morning. I'm walking out the door now to head their way.
I'm asking for prayers for my nephew and his wife. They are a young couple that have not been married very long. I can't imagine what they are going through right now.
Thanks.
I'm sorry. Prayers for your family.
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God bless this family. Prayers said.
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Prayers up here Chuck. How sad.
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Prayers sent.
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Thanks everyone. I just got back from over there about an hour ago. Here's what I know. They took the baby for a scheduled checkup last week and she was fine. They checked on her about 12:30 this morning and she was fine. They checked on her around 4 this morning and she didn't appear to be breathing. They called 911 and at the same time got my sister-in-law over there. She lives across the road from them and is a nurse. She preformed CPR while waiting on the ambulance. I think the EMTs tried to revive her without success.
Keep in mind that all of the above is what I've been able to piece together. Everyone is understandably upset so I didn't try to get details. My sister-in-law is taking it real hard. Mom said that she kept saying, "I was trying to breathe for her, but it just wouldn't work."
Since she was a healthy baby they sent her to be autopsied. The detectives showed up about an hour after I got there. I understand that they are doing their job, but it was a bit unsettling.
My problem is that I really don't know what to say in situations like this. I don't see anything that you really can say that will make much difference. My younger brother always tries to be mister tough-guy. This was his first grandchild. I watched him closely. He was trying to put up a strong front. I finally was able to get him off sort of by himself and told him not to keep things bottled up trying to be Billy Badass. To let it out if he needed to. He told me that he had to be strong for them. I told him that I could completely understand that and I expected him to be strong for them, but he didn't have to be around them every single minute. If he needed to let it out he really needed to find a spot and let it out. He said that he'd been doing that. That if I had been watching he had gone across the road every so often to his house.
As for my nephew, I admit for the last 15 years or so that I haven't been the best uncle in the world. A few years back I helped him get his first truck. When he was doing his Navy Reserve training I called and told him how proud I was of him. Other than that though, they pretty much stay in their part of the world and I stay in mind, but when he was younger I did spent a lot of time with him. At around the age of three or so I'd pick him up almost every Friday, we'd get a pizza, and I'd take him to mom and dad's to spend the weekend. He used to love trains and tractors. I happen to have a friend who owns a logging company and is a model train buff. I took him one Saturday to my friend's house. He got to play with a huge model train setup. Then he got to crawl all over a big logging tractor (a skidder). He was in hog heaven. Back then his reaction to that kind of stuff made me feel like a superhero. Today I felt like anything but a superhero. When I got to their house this morning. I hugged his neck and told him that I loved him. He started crying a bit, and it was like someone had ripped my heart out and stomped it flat. I told him before I left that there was nothing that I could say or do that would make this any better, but if he needs anything all he has to do is call me day or night.
My biggest regret is that I never got to see Emma Grace except in pictures. I had went over there the day they had planned to induce labor, but they changed their minds. They finally did a C-section on the night of the 7th. Since I can't see at night I didn't go. After that I decided to give them some time. I figured they would be crowded for a few days with family coming and going to see the new baby. My wife and I had talked about going over there today to see her. Then we got that call this morning.
The good news is that yesterday she was well and happy. She got to visit with my sister-in-law's family the first part of Thanksgiving day and with my family at my grandmother's the last part of the day.
I do thank you for your prayers, and ask you to continue them. Below is Emma Grace the day before she left the hospital.
(http://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss137/Bucket_pail/430579_292989967484589_1112723624_n.jpg)
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In my post above I may have spoken out of turn a bit about the detectives. I just spoke with my mother. She said that the detectives looked at the room where the baby was. Got my nephew, his wife, my brother and sister-in-law in the room and shut the door. They politely asked them a few questions. Then had prayer with them.
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I wish we could understand the reasons for everything horrible that happens. They are all in my prayers.
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OMG I'm so sorry, I just said a Prayer now.
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She said that the detectives looked at the room where the baby was. Got my nephew, his wife, my brother and sister-in-law in the room and shut the door. They politely asked them a few questions. Then had prayer with them.
Now, that is class, grace, sensitivity.
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Prayers sent.
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This is so sad. I am sorry your family is going through this. She was beautiful.
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Prayers offered.
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Heaven Has A New Angel
your pain is gone
your stay was short
your memory will last forever
you've touched so many
loved by all
there for us we were about to fall
a whisper of an angel your words will be
the glory of an angel your light shall be
our new guardian angel you will be
Heaven has a new angel
Mark Petro
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Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming. Right now the funeral is set for Tuesday.
My nephew's wife is still taking it very hard. Mom says that my sister-in-law was doing better today. I do have to give my 19 year old niece (sister to my nephew) credit. Through this all she has kept her head and stood strong for everyone. She's been a rock.
Thanks for the poem Zeus. Surprisingly enough, earlier today my wife and I were looking at some photos of the baby. A little while later she brought me something that she had written.
As far as I know she's has never written anything creative in her life. This is it:
Don't cry mama.
I have a pretty new dress.
It was waiting just for me
and for nobody else.
Don't cry daddy.
Can you believe I have wings?
They're so fluffy and so white,
and the feathers tickle my toes.
There's someone here.
He's holding on to my hand.
He says he won't let go
'til I'm with you again.
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How incredibly heartbreaking. My kids were trying my patience last night and this reminds me how lucky I am to have them with me. Your entire family is in my prayers chuck. I am so sorry for your nephews loss. She was a beautiful baby.
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My heart skipped a beat reading this.
Prayers said.
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Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming. Right now the funeral is set for Tuesday.
My nephew's wife is still taking it very hard. Mom says that my sister-in-law was doing better today. I do have to give my 19 year old niece (sister to my nephew) credit. Through this all she has kept her head and stood strong for everyone. She's been a rock.
Thanks for the poem Zeus. Surprisingly enough, earlier today my wife and I were looking at some photos of the baby. A little while later she brought me something that she had written.
As far as I know she's has never written anything creative in her life. This is it:
Don't cry mama.
I have a pretty new dress.
It was waiting just for me
and for nobody else.
Don't cry daddy.
Can you believe I have wings?
They're so fluffy and so white,
and the feathers tickle my toes.
There's someone here.
He's holding on to my hand.
He says he won't let go
'til I'm with you again.
Your wife's poem brought on full blown sobs. It's beautiful.
My ex's niece died at 5wks. Perfectly healthy little girl. His sister laid her down for a nap while visiting at her cousin's house. Went in to get her to go home and she was gone. It was diagnosed as SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or "crib death".
You don't hear about it as often these days. (this was close to 40 yrs ago). It usually happens within the first 3 months, but more often in the first 6 weeks. Supposedly, it often occurs in families. I was terrified until both of mine hit 3 months...
Very very sad, but so far, there is no definitive cause for why it happens. It is devastating for the family and parents, particularly Mom, wonder what they did wrong....when in reality they didn't do anything wrong. Maybe it's what happened to Baby Emma Grace.
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I just got back from my nephew's a little while ago. They were doing a little bit better. The autopsy report came in late this afternoon. The coroner and detective came to the house to give the report to my nephew and his wife.
I haven't been told what the report said so I'm not going to speculate on that, but I was amazed by the coroner and detective. A lot of friends and family were there. Some inside the house. Some outside. They asked everyone to step outside except my nephew and his wife. I don't know how long they were in there. When they finished, the detective and coroner stepped out and told us that the couple wanted some quiet time to themselves and that when they (meaning the couple) were ready they would talk to us. Then the detective and coroner took the time to go up to almost every person there, shake hands, and say "God bless you" and "we're very sorry for you loss".
I had to leave immediately after because neither my wife nor I can see to drive very well at night.
I do appreciate the prayers. Please keep them going for the family and especially for my nephew and his wife.
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It sounds like the detective and coroner have been super kind and compassionate to your family. When any of you are up to it, it would be nice to send a letter to their superiors to let them know. I doubt they get many compliments.
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It sounds like the detective and coroner have been super kind and compassionate to your family. When any of you are up to it, it would be nice to send a letter to their superiors to let them know. I doubt they get many compliments.
That's not all. Before we left last night someone drove up. It was my nephew's wife's doctor. She had driven from South Carolina where I guess she had been spending the holidays. No one knows how she found out. She assured consoled the couple. assured my nephew that he had been as good a daddy as she had dealt with, and checked his wife's stitches from the C-section.
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I got back from the funeral about an hour ago. That funeral home had her looking beautiful. You wanted to reach down and pick her up.
I was able to hold it together during the funeral, but it was tough. I hope I never have to go to another baby's funeral.
After the grave side service I pulled my brother off to the side to talk to him alone. I kind of feel like a heal because I'm the one that ended up crying.
Thank's to everyone who sent up prayers.
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I got back from the funeral about an hour ago. That funeral home had her looking beautiful. You wanted to reach down and pick her up.
I was able to hold it together during the funeral, but it was tough. I hope I never have to go to another baby's funeral.
After the grave side service I pulled my brother off to the side to talk to him alone. I kind of feel like a heal because I'm the one that ended up crying.
Thank's to everyone who sent up prayers.
You aren't a heel. Prayers up for you and your family.
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I am bawling here at work. I can nto even begin to imagine the pain all of you are in. I am so sorry. :bawl:
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Every time a reply is made and I open this thread, another prayer is said.
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An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth,
Then whispered as she closed the book,
"Too beautiful for Earth"
-Unknown
:bawl:
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First, I want to say to Wineslob that the quote you posted is wonderful. I wonder how old it is.
To the rest of you, thanks again for all of the prayers.
I want to clarify a bit about why I said in one of the posts above that I felt like a heel. I hadn't been at my nephew's every day since this happened. I was over there Friday (the day it happened) and Sunday. There were just so many people there. It was like the family members in need were being smothered. I realize the people that were there had the best of intentions. I also realize that in such a situation having friends and family nearby can be helpful, but I also think that a person needs space to breath and to come to grips with the grief. It's like some people don't know when to step back. I'll give you an example of what I'm speaking about. On Sunday, when the detective and coroner arrived to reveal the autopsy report, my brother went in with them for just a minute. Then he walked out to the porch, grabbed the rail, and held his head down. My wife said that I should go to him. I told her that right now he needed to be left alone. I hand no sooner said that before someone ran toward him. He to wave her off and tell her that he needed some space for a minute.
At the cemetery when I got my brother off by himself I apologized for not being there every day. All the grief that I had been holding in and all the feelings of uselessness kind of exploded, and I broke down. When I got to where i could talk again I explained the concerns that I mentioned above, and he laughed and said I was absolutely right. That he did need some space. He said he also knew of my conspiracy. The conspiracy of which he spoke involved a friend of his that is like family. The friend lives close to him. I had emailed the friend either Friday or Saturday telling him that there was only two people that I trusted to look after my brother's best interests and not be scared by his hardheadedness. One of the people was me. The other was him. The friend viewed this as his mission. After this my brother hugged my neck, told me that he loved me, and that he knew without a doubt that his two lifelines were momma and me which made me feel better.
I will say this. I'm 45 years old (or there abouts). In that time the two most painful things that I can remember in my life happened these last few days. The most painful was hugging my nephew's neck the morning that his baby died and knowing there was nothing that I could do to make the hurt go away. The second most painful was at the end of the funeral in the chapel as I watched my brother walk alone down the aisle carrying his granddaughter's casket to the car for the ride to the cemetery.
On the plus side, my brother and nephew dropped by the house this afternoon and stayed for an hour or so. It was just the three of us in my office, and we were able to laugh and joke for a while.
I also want to say that I'm thankful that this place exists and that I appreciate you guys being patient with my in this thread. I know sometimes on this thread that it probably seems like I'm rambling on, but it's helped me get it out of my system a bit.
Finally, I want to post what I think is one of the best photos of Emma Grace.
(http://i569.photobucket.com/albums/ss137/Bucket_pail/EmmaG.jpg)
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You are a good man, ChuckJ.
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I am absolutely sobbing as I read this... I am so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful baby!!!
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You are a good man, ChuckJ.
One of the best.
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Emma Grace was beautiful....as she will be for all eternity.
You ARE a good man, Chuck.
Never doubt.
:grouphug:
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I am so sorry for your loss, ChuckJ. I don't often visit this section, and I'm so sorry to be so late. My prayers are with you and your family during this terribly sad time. She was beautiful.