primitive feels like a whiner

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11515340

Oh my.

Liberalynn (6,587 posts)    Wed Jul 23, 2014, 12:33 PM

Bad Times

Feel like a whiner. Know I am not a refugee, homeless, crime victim etcetera. But the thinking about others suffering only makes me feel depressed more depressed that they have to suffer.
 
Growing up Catholic I got that old chestnut: "God never gives you more than you can handle." Well forgive me believers but that's crap!
 
I am covered in itchy hives again, I can't eat hardly anything any more because I keep having to run to the bathroom with stomach cramps and excuse me but loose bowel movements five or six times a day if I eat anything even remotely close to a vegetable, and now even avoiding them doesn't stop it all that much. I've lost weight, my immune counts aren't right. They ship me from one doctor to the next, none of them know what's wrong or what to do. The gastroenterologist said eat more fiber, and when I say I've done that and it makes it worse he ignores me.
 
My 7 month old GSD bites me and my sister who visits often. Have had her to specialized trainer! She doesn't exhibit behavior with her or casual acquaintances. Just people she gets to know well. Nothing is helping and I have tried everything. I exercise her regularly, love her, try to give her boundaries but nothing works. In all likelihood I am going to have to give her to the GSD rescue in our area to try and rehabilitate and re-home her.
 
My cousins who claimed we were their sisters by heart have ditched us. They are going through crap of their own and my sis and I offered support. What did we get in return. They manufacture some story that the last time they visited my sister told my cousin's wife all the mean things her sister in law was saying about her. Can we all say delusional? I was there through the entire visit. Never happened. The thing is her husband, our cousin was there too, knows it didn't happen but has ostracized us anyway.
 
This on top of my mental illness issues. If I call therapist or psychiatrist they are just going to give me that keep being as courageous as you've been even though it's hard, etc. The doctor will toss out more meds which solve nothing.
 
I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep trying, I keep following the rules. It's just when is enough enough?
 
I made my sister a promise that I would never give into the urge to end it again and I won't go back on that cause I won't put her through more misery.
 
So I am stuck. The only things I even slightly enjoy anymore are my sister, books,sleeping, and my one feral cat who let's me pet her and even with those things, the only ones I know can't be taken away are sleeping and books.
 
I just don't have any clue anymore about how to be remotely happy?

fizzgig (20,790 posts)    Wed Jul 23, 2014, 12:46 PM

1. i'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it right now

it's so hard when you don't feel well either physically or mentally and it's bogus that the doc isn't listening to you. i'm assuming they've checked your thyroid, but have them do it if they haven't.
 
i wish i had some words of wisdom outside of be gentle with yourself right now, but i do have plenty of for you.
 
we're always here for you.

Liberalynn (6,587 posts)    Wed Jul 23, 2014, 01:28 PM

3. The hugs help

as well as people who understand.

They have checked my thyroid. That's normal. My red and white blood cell count came back literally text book perfect. They said the tests that are irregular are my CH50 level which is high. Allergist who took test said in note he sent me: "I was expecting it to be low, don't know what to make of it being high?" The reverse was true of my immunoglobulin levels. Three were abnormally low, he said in note "gee I was expecting them to be high, don't know what to make of it." No explanation of what they actually do mean in terms of my general health, and no recommendation for follow up. So I made appointment with primary care doctor's office. They said "immunology isn't our field we don't understand it either."
 
So I googled. According to legitimate health sites high CH50 means either you have cancer or a serious infection. On the immunoglobulin levels they said it's likely hereditary, which I know my mother had one that was low, E. She had to carry a medical alert for it. If your levels are low and they give you a blood transfusion with that immunoglobulin present it can kill you. I am low on A, M, and E. Plus they said abnormally low or high levels can cause hives and stomach issues, exactly what I am having. I finally called them everyday tell they gave in and referred me to an immunologist. He can't see me unti August 6th. I've been fighting them since February. Hopefully it isn't cancer, or if it is, it isn't one that's terrible sensitive on the treatment end.

steve2470 (22,559 posts)    Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:25 AM

5. you might think about getting a new shrink and/or therapist

Sometimes change is good.

<<<wonders why the steve primitive is suddenly so involved in the nuts' forum; he never used to be.

Liberalynn (6,587 posts)    Thu Jul 31, 2014, 03:56 PM

6. They actually in the end turned out pretty helpful.

The Psychiatrist is going to download the lab work I am concerned about and check some of the medical databases she's subscribed to, to see if she can help me formulate some questions for the immunologist. She also said if I can get a list of Doctors accepting my type of insurance they will go over it with me and help me find a new primary care doctor.
 
She says she's noticed the high turn over rate at the practice I have been going to. I have had three different doctors in three years, and thinks something's not right there. It's sad. They have been treating me since I was born but all the founding doctors have either died off or resigned. Now they just seem to have no concern for anyone anymore.
 
I actually felt better after talking to the Psychiatrist yesterday. At least she is going to try and help get me some answers and understands I am afraid of what I may find out health wise.

fizzgig (20,790 posts)    Mon Aug 4, 2014, 03:07 PM

7. glad to hear she's helping you with this

it's good to have someone in your corner.

Liberalynn (6,587 posts)    Mon Aug 4, 2014, 04:41 PM

8. Thank You!

I am doing okay. The immunologist wanted me to go off the antihistamines for five days so they could test me without the drug's suppressing symptoms but the hives came back too strong and my lip swelled so I had to go back on the meds right away.

[Carl]

Crazy ****ing idiots.

Yet still think they are smarter then everyone else.
FOAD lunatics.

[hillneck]

Another DUmbass that has a mental condition and is miserable.  Cry me a river of tears.  With these idiots it's the same old story.   

[Chris_]

Another DUmbass that has a mental condition and is miserable. 

I'm shocked.

[HawkHogan]

I know a couple of posters here have talked about doing a psychology thesis on DU.  Every day it seems more likely. 

[GOBUCKS]

Liberalynn (6,587 posts)    Wed Jul 23, 2014, 12:33 PM

Bad Times

What a great post! Another suffering DUmmy!

DUmmy Liberalynn has the itchy hives (but not, unfortunately, squeamish carcinoma), the chronic shits, her own dog bites her, her family hates her, only one cat will let her near, she's mentally ill, and she's suicidal.

Otherwise, things look pretty bright.

I tihink stevenumbers is lurking in the nuthatch in hopes of someday scoring some loonytail.

[Big Dog]

Liberalynn

I am covered in itchy hives again, I can't eat hardly anything any more because I keep having to run to the bathroom with stomach cramps and excuse me but loose bowel movements five or six times a day if I eat anything even remotely close to a vegetable, and now even avoiding them doesn't stop it all that much. I've lost weight, my immune counts aren't right. They ship me from one doctor to the next, none of them know what's wrong or what to do. The gastroenterologist said eat more fiber, and when I say I've done that and it makes it worse he ignores me.

Sounds like Ebola.

You know that one kind of Ebola, DUmmy? The one you get better from?

Not that kind.

[Zathras]

What the DUmbass needs is a copper jacketed lead injection to the side of their head at high velocity. It'll cure all of their problems in a flash.

[Ogre]

All primitives are whiners, it's in their DNA.

Primitives are "cold, timid souls who will never know victory nor defeat". - Theodore Roosevelt