Oscar Wilde goes to Hell; no one there

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3046684

Oh my.

Cyrano  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Journal  Sat Mar-22-08 01:21 PM
Original message

Eternity News update: Bush/Cheney to be Nixon’s “roommates” in Hell
   
Since arriving in Hell, Richard Nixon has been kept in isolation so as not to contaminate the other residents. His only “entertainment” consists of listening to an unending audio loop of “The Greatest Speeches of Dan Quayle” played at 180 decibels.

However, our sources have found that Nixon’s solitary confinement will be coming to an end. Hell’s Council of Senior Demons has concluded that, upon their arrival, both Bush and Cheney will be sharing Nixon’s private special corner.

Initially, some members of the council had held out against this arrangement. They were of the opinion that no one in recent times could possibly match Nixon’s depravity. But a short documentary presentation of the past seven years ended all debate and led to a unanimous decision. (Some believe it was Bush’s smirk and Cheney’s sneer that swung the vote.)

Many here on DU have no personal recollection of Richard Nixon. And many others wish they could cleanse their minds of the existence of this human-like beast. No one believed that we’d ever again see anyone as corrupt, or who literally reeked of undiluted bile.

The sub-committee demons responsible for enhancing the various punishments inflicted upon Hell’s residents reached the decision that both Nixon and Cheney would have to spend the rest of eternity being beaten with a blunt instrument. Further discussion led to the obvious conclusion that the blunt instrument to be used would be George W. Bush.

Another Council of Senior Demons meeting is scheduled to devise appropriate punishments for Bush/Cheney enablers, abettors and henchmen. And yes, radio and TV hate peddlers are on the list.

It seems that the biggest debate is what to do with Karl Rove. Junior demons polish their horns and sharpen their claws in anticipation of some of the more exotic forms of torture. But elder demons are far more subtle. Some want to send him back to earth as a servant at the Kennedy family compound. Others want to ship him to Saudi Arabia as a female who doesn’t own a burka.

Regarding Rove, the Council of Senior Demons is open to opinions on punishment to fit the crime(s).

This intense literary work, alas, went for naught; after more than eight hours, not a single primitive has come to the bonfire.

Maybe if Oscar Wilde used eye-grabbing headlines, as this one's prettylame.....

[Carl]

The ghost of Nixon will forever haunt them.

They thought that with him they could always paint Republicans as corrupt but the impeachment of Pres.Clinton took that away.

It is why the primitives are soooo hellbent on impeaching President Bush so as to wash Clinton away.

Odd priorities they have in life.

[franksolich]

I suspect Oscar Wilde's going to get more of an audience over here, than on Skins's island.

That's what used to irk me about Pedro Picasso's paranoia of being quoted over here; the guy wanted exposure, the guy wanted publicity, the guy wanted to show off.....but then got all upset and bent out of shape when we courteously helped him.

[Lord Undies]

It irks their kind that Richard Nixon was a decent and brilliant man.  It irks them because they know it. 

[franksolich]

What cracks me up is Oscar Wilde's comment that "many here on [Skins's island] have no personal recollection" of Richard Nixon; apparently Oscar isn't aware of the demographics of my fellow alum's place.

Given the ages of the primitives, it's probable that 80+% of them do indeed have personal recollections of Richard Nixon, and probably well over half the primitives were old enough in either 1968 or 1972 or both, to vote against him.

If Oscar thinks young chicks hang around Skins's island, he'd better look again.

[Lord Undies]

What cracks me up is Oscar Wilde's comment that "many here on [Skins's island] have no personal recollection" of Richard Nixon; apparently Oscar isn't aware of the demographics of my fellow alum's place.

Given the ages of the primitives, it's probable that 80+% of them do indeed have personal recollections of Richard Nixon, and probably well over half the primitives were old enough in either 1968 or 1972 or both, to vote against him.

If Oscar thinks young chicks hang around Skins's island, he'd better look again.

In Oscar's defense, he may be speaking about how the other primitives were too whacked out on dope to remember anything from that time period.