Author Topic: Texas Votes To Airlift Austin To California  (Read 709 times)

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Offline Eupher

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Texas Votes To Airlift Austin To California
« on: October 15, 2022, 12:27:00 PM »
<Snort>

My stepson and his wife, who live in Austin, would probably enjoy the ride. (I don't know if they drink lattes.)

Quote
AUSTIN, TX — In a landslide victory during a special statewide referendum this week, Texans overwhelmingly voted to have a giant airship pick up Austin via tow cables and drop the city off in California.

As the city is mostly inhabited by Californians who left their state due to the cost of living, high taxes, and crime - and then proceeded to vote for the same policies in Texas - the move is just "setting things right" by sending immigrants from the Golden State "back where they belong," according to the bill's sponsors.

The act took effect immediately, and a massive, lumbering dirigible slowly crawled over the city, its ominous shadow eclipsing the coffee shops, microbreweries, and vegan hemp handbag stores below. Liberals screamed and attempted to flee, but it was too late. Harpoon cannons blasted massive steel cables into the Pennybacker Bridge, the Independent skyscraper, and various other anchor points throughout the city. The airship then rose into the sky, lifting the city along with millions of Austin progressives thousands of feet into the air.

"Oh no!" cried recent Texas transplants Timpani and Steve Strudelfudd as the ground shook and they nearly fell off their electric scooters in downtown Austin. "This is, like, totally, like, one of those earthquake things from back home! Hold onto your lattes!"

The city was safely transported back to California and dropped off in a nice rural area north of Santa Clarita. Texas is once again safely red, and many Austin residents reportedly don't even realize they've been transported to California.

As for any progressive transplants still living in Texas, Governor Abbott has vowed to continue secret midnight flights of these liberals back to their home countries of California, Washington, and Oregon.

https://babylonbee.com/news/texas-votes-to-airlift-austin-to-california?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email

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Offline ABC-2

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Re: Texas Votes To Airlift Austin To California
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2022, 12:39:58 PM »
<Snort>

My stepson and his wife, who live in Austin, would probably enjoy the ride. (I don't know if they drink lattes.)

https://babylonbee.com/news/texas-votes-to-airlift-austin-to-california?utm_source=The%20Babylon%20Bee%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email



 :lmao:  :lmao: :lmao:

Good one Euph!  I love the babylonbee,  it warms the "cockles of my heart!" (whatever cockles are)  :-)

Hugs  ~ ABC
Please pray for our country in these turbulent times ...
It really is the best in the world & I can't stand the thought of losing it.

Freedom, Truth, and the USA!!! 
~ American By Choice (aka ABC-2)

Offline Eupher

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Re: Texas Votes To Airlift Austin To California
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2022, 02:28:51 PM »
:lmao:  :lmao: :lmao:

Good one Euph!  I love the babylonbee,  it warms the "cockles of my heart!" (whatever cockles are)  :-)

Hugs  ~ ABC

Quote
cockles
Plural form of cockle

noun
*  The body or fire-chamber of an air-stove, usually made of fire-brick.
*  A kind of kiln or stove for drying hops.
*  In porcelain manufacturing, a large stove used for drying biscuit-ware which has been dipped in glaze, preparatory to burning.

Jeez, ABC, I hope your heart's fire chamber isn't made of fire brick! That would HURT!  :-)

Or, have you been brewing beer again? And I don't even wanna know what "biscuit-ware" is.  :lmao:
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.